Who's The Master?

For those of you who weren't able to make it to men's group this Sunday morning, and for those of you who are away at college, it was another fantastic discussion about our role as bond-servants within our homes. A lot of good things were brought out.

FIRST; let's take care of a little business.

Pastor Eric, began by telling everyone about a dynamic new men's program called “Men at the Cross.” The discipleship/mentoring program will be holding a meeting at the First Baptist Church in Branson, Mo. The meeting will be Saturday, 10/15/11 from 8 AM to 12:30 PM. Make plans to be there if at all possible. This fits nicely with where we want to go as men.

We're still promoting and encouraging everyone to go see the movie “Courageous,” on September 30^th. This is a unique opportunity for us. This movie is being released to a limited amount of theaters and Harrison is privileged to be one of those theaters. This movie is what we're all about here at 'Real Ministries.' It's a must see.

I'm still promoting the book, “Slave” by John MacArthur. This book is such a timely sidebar to “Every Man's Marriage.” “Slave,” restores the truth of the gospel message and makes it clear what our place in Christ is. If you can get past the negative images that slavery carries with it, you'll be rewarded with a deeper walk with Christ.

ON TO THE STUDY, (revised worksheet)

I'm going to rework the lesson sheet in order to make it less personal for the Blog, but still give you the bulk of what was handed out to the others. Last week we wrapped up Chapter Seven and introduced the idea of leading as a bondservant. The rest of the book gives us insight into how to be a bondservant to your wife. Fred, will show us how the rubber meets the road, but before we slide the gear shifter into drive and press the throttle, I want to be sure you understand where Fred is at in his thinking. If you miss it, you'll end up impaled upon a tree along the road of life, and I think you know what tree I'm talking about.

In Chapter Eight, Fred addresses the issue of rights. 

FORGET IT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. You're a slave. Forget the fact that you're a BOND slave. When you placed your ear to the door post, you told the LORD God you were his slave forever. You are not her slave, you are a slave to Christ Jesus and ultimately everyone else. You willingly gave up your freedoms to be his servant. You are now held to a higher standard than a mere contract or piece of paper. You are bound by the breath of God to keep your promise to love her like Christ. You made a vow, not a contract. Your pledge, spoken with the breath of God, and signed in love, is more binding than any chain or shackle. You have pledged yourself to the master of the Universe and surrendered your life to him. Even if your love (passion) for her should wane or be crushed by personal failure, your vow is to a higher authority.

Let's go back to Exodus chapter 21 and read verses 1- 6 once more. Most of us would agree that it is God who gave us our wives. She is God's slave first. How she serves the Lord is not your concern. Your concern is how well you serve her in serving the master. The Master wants oneness more than anything, and it is your willingness to serve your wife that will make oneness possible. The righteousness with which you lead your life may never cause your wife to serve you as you would like her to, but you will have lived a righteous life seeking spiritual oneness first. The failure of oneness wouldn't rest upon your shoulders.

We'll keep Fred's call to righteousness in mind, but I think it is impossible to be righteous without a firm understanding of what makes your righteousness valuable. I'm curious, how many of you have figured out what the most valuable currency in the world is? Did you see it as you were reading chapter eight? We've discussed it before in other lessons. It is the one thing that people hold tightly to. People are more tight fisted with it than money. Every Pastor knows what I'm talking about. You can have one of the most 'giving' churches in the world, and have one of the most selfish at the same time. It all comes back down to the discussion between Fred and Brenda over Fred's new found hobby. NOTICE, it wasn't the cost of the rifle that rankled Brenda, nor was it the cost of the ammunition, or even the expense of the trips. MONEY wasn't the issue. What is the issue?

TIME!

We have to jump ahead into Chapter Nine to understand Chapter Eight. Always remember, time is the ultimate currency. WE all use it to place a value upon something. When I go to do a job at someone's home, I am selling my time. I may be the most skilled handyman in the world, but it is my time I'm selling. We all sell our time. My wife and I had this discussion just this Friday. I've had this crazy idea to open up a Hot Dog stand. It appeals to me. I like the restaurant business. I like it far more than I do the Handyman business. The idea drives Glenda up the wall, because the trade off in time doesn't make sense to her. She believes that if a person is going to go into business for themselves, they need to maximize their profit potential for the amount of time they put into it. If the business requires an inordinate amount of time, then it should produce a maximum amount of profit. Ergo, the hot dog stand is a waste of time because there is no profit potential equal to the investment in time. She even quoted Ephesians 5:16 to me to make her point. Time is what makes the currency valuable.

You still don't believe 'time' is crucial? Then lets look at the story between Fred and Brenda in Chapter Eight. I've highlighted all the time issues. As we go through them, I think you'll agree that the issue here is time. After we do that, we'll change it up again.

Now that we've proven the issue is time, we're going to lay aside the other issue which he uses as the counterweight to his decision. I'm sure that everyone of us can sympathize with the side of the discussion where Fred puts the “boot” on the other foot. What if Brenda had came in with the same request of time to go shopping? Time is the issue. It's how we give our wives their measure and define their worth. Time is the one thing you can't buy or replace. You CAN redeem your time, but redemption implies paying a price. What is the REDEMPTION price for your time?

RIGHTEOUSNESS! Now we bounce back to Chapter Eight.

Let's all turn to Ephesians 5:11-21. That wasn't enough? Let's begin at verse 1.

Can you see it yet? Is there a link here that tells you what value you hold in someone else's life?

Let's approach it from the slave viewpoint again. As a slave, you own nothing. You are GIVEN everything you need by your master. Even your wife is given to you. The clothes you wear, the food you eat, are all given to you. DO YOU POSSESS ANYTHING? NO! You don't even own the time it takes for you to do what you do. YOUR TIME is not your own. That is why the master owns you. HE owns your time. Your life is not your own, you've been bought with a price. All of our plans, our schemes, our hopes and dreams should be an expression of the Master's plan. If you've been reading John MacArthur's book “Slave,” this concept won't be a mystery to you. The idea of being a slave should even be appealing to you. That is why our lives must be led by the Holy Spirit. The Spirit Led life will redeem the time. Righteousness is essential.

If you want to test someone's love for you, ask them for their time. If you really want to push their button, demand it. Let me give you an example. When I was in the Air Force, we had an issue where the wings on the C-130 were cracking and coming off in flight. They grounded the entire fleet until they could inspect them all and this inspection took a great amount of time and manpower. They put us on 12 hour shifts for seven days a week for over six weeks in a row. During that time, our salaries didn't go up. We didn't get overtime, nor did we get any kind of compensation for our time. For the first couple of weeks, everyone could see the value of giving their time. We were able to inspect half the fleet and verify over two thirds of that as flight worthy. We could get back to business if we needed to. As the third week ground on, you began to hear grousing and complaining. By the fourth week, the troops were writing letters to their congressmen. What put an end to it? At the end of the sixth week, we almost blew a plane up due to a bad decision compounded by fatigue. The safety officer of the squadron called it off and put us back on 12 hour shifts for five days a week.

When the twelve hour shifts began, we were “honored” to give our time. Anyone will give small segments of their time, especially when they receive recognition or compensation for it. As husbands we can endure doing the dishes, the laundry, and in Fred's case, rush the baby upstairs to clean his poop off, because we know our wives usually dole out the 'atta boys.' When that happens, we receive our reward. (Sermon on the Mount, boys.) The minute she begins to expect it, maybe even demand it, our feathers get ruffled. Who's the Master?

Righteousness isn't specific acts, but an expression of the heart. Placing your heart in the role of a slave means knowing that your time is not your own. You have nothing to bargain with. The master gave you a wife, he expects you to give her due time. If you have children, he expects you to serve them and give them their due time. He gave you brothers and sisters in the Lord and expects you to give them your due time. This is what Chapter 5 in Ephesians is all about. TIME!

When I do premarital counseling, I have an entire section called “Things That Matter.” It is a bunch of what appear to be silly questions about favorites, hobbies, friends, things you like, etc. . . What it actually is, is a measure of how much you value your time. I tell the people being counseled, that I know which questions are important, but I'm actually looking for how selfish they are with their time. When I hear their answers, I'm able to bring the discussion toward the issue of time. If they don't have issues of time, they will. All of us do. When you're courting, you are willing to give up your time, because you can see the reward in front of you. You will be given the honor of a securing the relationship. Only after you've slipped the ring on her finger, does the true test of a bondservant begin. Can you keep it going all the time?

“What about her?” you ask. Yes, it is her job as a slave to submit her time to you, but it is your job to lead her in that. You can't instruct her in 'how' to give her time. You have to lead her by example. It has to be selfless on your part. If she learns from you, then all is well. If she never gets it, you still have to lead. That is the accountability that you have as the Lord's slave. You won't answer for her, you will answer for you. He gave her to you, but she is still his. You've all heard me express myself on the garden, but now it is time to give you the core of the truth to be found there. They were both there, at the tree. Yes, it was Eve who was deceived, but it was Adam who was standing there alongside her. They BOTH failed, but he failed to lead her away from the place of temptation. Adam's failure to lead continues to be our struggle to this day. We fail to lead, because we are afraid to lose that which God gave to us. One question I ask every couple I counsel is; “What would be the worst thing that could happen if your fiance' called off the marriage?” I'm always amazed at the answers I get. The issue isn't framed upon the 'best' for the other person's life, but upon the devastation to their own life. It is the loss of time and perceived worth that prevents us from being truthful with one another. The truth is, most women don't have an issue with time until we men hold back on it. Her worth is given to her by God, not you. The question isn't how much she's worth, but how much HE'S worth. Who's the Master?

That's the end of the reworked lesson sheet. As always, those of you who've been in the group know, there was some awesome discussion. One of the things I'm beginning to enjoy more and more, is the honesty and transparency we are beginning to have with one another. When we were discussing Fred's story about wanting to go hunting, one of the men felt that Brenda's response was selfish. I have to agree. I thought her reaction was a little overbearing and selfish. BUT, we don't know the history of the couple enough to know where she was in her thinking. It's a snapshot, a quick glimpse into a moment of their life without any background. We don't know what Fred was doing throughout the rest of the week. It goes back to the idea of righteousness. Our slavery isn't to our wives, but to the Master who gave our wives to us. Who's the Master?

Pastor Eric pointed out that the discussion of Brenda wouldn't even be happening if we'd read the book “slave.” I agree! We have to see ourselves beyond our own selfish desires. WE have no rights. We are slaves.

Our brother Aaron once again spoke out about living our lives for Christ, not for what we can expect to get out of the relationship or what we can receive. We don't do it for what we expect to get, but simply because that is what we are. This is an amazing maturity for a young man of his twenties. He is spiritually at a place in his twenties that I am only arriving at in my fifties. Yes, a new generation is arising and living a life worthy of the high calling of Christ Jesus.

It is so difficult to explain to men who've never been in our group, what happens there. Those of you who are away from us, know. Six years ago, our men brought in our young teenage boys to study with us. It changed us up in a way we never expected. It is no longer about one-upmanship, but about bringing our sons along with us, and as we're seeing now, surpassing us. Within a few years, these young men have grown to a point that they are teaching me.

To all the mothers and wives who've given up your men every Sunday morning, I hope you can see the value and worth of your sacrifice. Thank you for sharing them.

To my wife Glenda, I offer up this totally heartfelt praise. It is my sincere desire that the men and women of our faith fellowship would know the sacrifice of time and attention you have made in order for me to grind out these lessons week after week. You allow me the grace to study, write, and share what the Lord gives me with the men of our fellowship. I hope you see the measure of your sacrifice in the quality of young men who have grown up in our fellowship. Their lives are a testament to the selflessness of your life and those of the other women in our fellowship who've given their husbands and sons up to the study of God's word. May we make your sacrifices worthwhile by being the husbands and sons that Christ has called us to be.