A NEW STUDY

The flavor of this blog is going to change in a dramatic way.  In the past, I've used it to keep those who were unable to attend the men's group in the know.  We have a few young men who are away at college, and some who've moved away to other cities.  It was our desire to keep these people in the loop with us.  That will no longer be the case. I will be posting our weekly lesson sheets, as well as some of the more pertinent remarks made during the men's group, but we are moving into a time of reaching, growing, and action.  The time for talk is over.  If the enemy of our souls can keep us focused on what is wrong with us, he can keep us from using what is right with us.  I am weary of the pointing of fingers, and the heaping on of condemnation.  I regret that I became part and parcel of the condemnation.  Yes, there are times we need to search ourselves and measure our actions in the light of the glory of Christ, but the enemy can take those times and make us wring our hands in guilt and shame.  NO MORE!

I could do nothing to be a citizen of the Kingdom, and I will not agonize over whether I am or am not because some man says I'm messed up.  The Kingdom is advancing, and I want to be one of those who are at the front of the battle.

WHAT IS OUR NEW STUDY GOING TO BE?

MOVING FORWARD INTO THE KINGDOM!  

Check your worldly gear at the door, leave your baggage in the station, grab onto the handrail of faith, and be prepared to be launched into a new dimension of love.  We will be propelled at the speed of LIGHT into the Spiritual Kingdom of life.  Sickness doesn't exist there, fear is outlawed, doubt doesn't exist, and grace reigns eternal.   The promises are ours, yours, and for all men who would believe.

Your Kingdom Come on earth, as it is in heaven!  

That was the Lord's prayer, and now it is mine!

FINISHED

It's hard to believe we began our study into Wes Yoder's book ' BOND OF BROTHERS'  more than a year ago.  Sunday, we finished sharing our favorite passage from Chapter Twelve of the book.  What continues to amaze me is how the Holy Spirit arranges the shared passages so that a theme develops for that morning. The first Sunday, the theme was forgiveness.  The second Sunday we focused on dealing with failure, The third Sunday, we dealt with Tact, and this week we ended with how God gives us grace to be ourselves.

One of the greatest struggles for any religion is the struggle to focus people in on what you believe, while giving them the ability to be themselves.  It is human nature to want people to join you in your belief system.  It validates you, you validate them, and the validation solidifies your belief. It doesn't matter how far-fetched your belief is, if someone else believes with you, it makes it harder to shake your confidence.  At the extreme end of that belief, is the temptation to enforce your belief system on someone else.  As one of the Brothers pointed out, imposing our will on others is not what Christ intended.  Actually, we pretty much all agree that our Creator enjoys the diversity, creativity, and individuality of His creation.  It was never His intention to form us into mindless robots, serving out of programming instead of desire.  Actually, it is proof of his love for us, that we have the free will to believe in Him.

We came to the same conclusion as Bro. Yoder, God is not afraid of our creativity, and He doesn't destroy our individuality.  He incorporates our unique qualities (warts and all) into a wonderful work of art, called life.  A life of faith is not the imposition of belief, but submission, honor, and respect for the unique person that is the Christ-Man.  Our elder brother Jesus, showed us what he hoped for the Church to look like, by taking twelve men, and making them His followers.  He never once condemned them for their individuality, nor did he choose them because they were all of the same profession.  Among them were hot-heads, pragmatists, conformists, liberals, brawlers, conservatives, thieves, and even one traitor.  He didn't even ask them to believe before He asked them to follow Him.

God celebrates our uniqueness!  The brush strokes, chisel marks, and colors that are us, bring HIM pleasure.  The scriptures tell us we were created for his pleasure.  We weren't created for His use, but for his pleasure.  It is because He takes pleasure in us, that we submit to Him, and seek to be used of Him.  Those who have a genuine relationship with Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit, know that they're a joy to the One they've chosen to follow.

Finally, for my part, I want to thank Wes Yoder for writing a fantastic book.  Your prose, and story were just what our men needed.  As for me, my favorite passage was actually in Chapter Eleven.  When I die, I don't want a bunch of uncircumcised Philistines burying me either.  Since I want to be cremated, take a pair of post hole diggers, dig me a hole about three or four feet down, put my ashes in the empty coffee can I've decorated, drop it in the hole, and cover me up.

Our Homework for the next week is for the men to write down what they learned from the book, and how we can implement that in our own body.   I can't wait to see what everyone says.

Try A Little Tenderness

It's an old blues song that's been covered by many artists over the years, but we stumbled across the meaning of it during our men's study group.  Yes, we're still working on Chapter 12 of Wes Yoder's "Bond of Brothers."  A matter of fact, we didn't go much further than where we left off last week.  The issue went from forgiveness to 'Tact.'

We Americans love our freedom of speech.  We love our right to express ourselves, no matter who it might hurt or what it might do.  I still remember a test question from my high school Journalism class, "You have just found out that a Senator is involved in an extra-marital affair.  The Senator's wife is in the hospital with a serious heart condition, do you run the story?"   I circled "NO".   It was the wrong answer.  Needless to say, journalism didn't become my favorite course, something I am thankful for.

My mother used to say, just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to say it.  Tact goes a long way toward helping us get along with one another.  I actually like what one of the brothers said as we were finishing our prayer time.  He simply said;  Tact is the book of Proverbs.  Tact is wisdom.  It is the art of holding your tongue when it would be easier to blurt out your stinking, I mean thinking.  Tact goes a long way in every relationship.  There are things my wife doesn't need to know that I'm thinking, and there are things she's thinking that I don't want to know.

Boorish people, (those who disregard any effort at tact,) are overcome with pride.  Tactless people are prideful, arrogant, and without regard for the feelings of others.  It's their God given right to be that way.  Why else would He create this great nation?  Someone has to tell the truth.  Shouldn't the jerks in this world know that they are . . . jerks?

We as Christians need to know the difference between holding up the Cross of Jesus, and being offensive.  The Lord never said we would be persecuted for our words, but for our righteousness.  It isn't by our words that people know we are Christians, but by our love.  Righteousness isn't words, it is love.  The morality we so desire to live by is often cast aside when we are trying to make our own moral standing appear to be greater than those around us.

With one another, Christians should always be on their guard, listening to the Holy Spirit more than spitting out whatever pops into their head.  Tact goes a long way to reducing the need for forgiveness.  The biblical call to admonish one another has one caveat, to do it in love.  Familiarity never negates the need for respect. It is one thing to be able to crawl up into the Creator's lap and call Him, "Daddy,"  and another to recognize His awesome greatness.  There is a scene from the movie "The King and I,"  where the little daughter of the King runs into the throne room and forgets to bow.  The awkwardness of the moment is beyond our American way of thinking.  We don't understand royalty.  Yet, there is a decorum reserved for the noble, that should be a decorum reserved for all of us.  Familiarity doesn't mean you can blurt out your criticisms at any moment.  Admonition should be done with respect, and tenderness.

Which fruit of the Spirit best describes Tact?  All of them.  Ask yourself, if you would want to be told what you are about to say.  Where, how, and when we say things is being tactful.   We need to try a little tenderness.

Words of Life

It is my sincere desire that every man in our fellowship enjoyed their Thanksgiving celebration.  I know I did. In our men's group, we continued our study into Chapter Twelve of "Bond of Brothers" by Wes Yoder.  I asked the men to read the chapter, find a passage that moves them and then explain why it moved them.  I also expect them to explain what it moved them to do.  Yesterday, we made it through two passages.  Why only two?   Because one of the men highlighted one of the most powerful passages in the chapter.  The inescapable ability of a man to be a life giver, life taker, and life receiver all in the space of one day.
The study came to life as the men opened up their hearts to what is obviously a common problem among most men.  I've never understood why we can move so easily from being able to bring life, take life, and then receive life until yesterday.
It is the power of the tongue, the deception of pride, and the gift of mercy that live simultaneously within us.  It is because we are a new creation that is both Christ, and Man, or as Wes Yoder calls us, the Christ-Man.  We are at war with ourselves, and depending upon where we are in our maturity, the tide of the battle can swing in an instant. I know in my own life, that life taking words usually hang on the power of one word drawn up from the wellspring of pride.  In an instant, I can cut someone with a caustic or casual remark.  I've also found that the words of life are slower to come to my tongue, and require greater thought.  If they are born of the Holy Spirit, it is an even longer process, as I try to discern if I'll receive any praise or recognition for what I said.  True life giving words, are born of compassion, real love, and a desire to speak life into someone.  Words that take life are usually spoken to defend myself, or to bring someone down to size.  As if that is my job.
Throughout the study, we began to hit upon an even more novel idea.  The problem with being a life taker, is that the words we need to mend the situation, and restore relationship, are hollow at best.  Saying you are "sorry" doesn't make amends.  We have to bring something to the table.  We have to come with our hat in hand, and wearing sackcloth.  In other words, true regret for our words, or actions, must be held out in humility.  As we grow in Christ, we find the 'life taker' part of our Christ-Man is less apt to reveal himself.  The more we live in God's wisdom, the better we become at keeping our trap shut, and our hearts guarded with the love of Christ.  If we live as watchmen, guarding the walls of our heart with the compassion of the Holy Spirit, we will find our opportunities to be 'life-givers' will far exceed our moments of murderous pride. It is in those moments, we can receive life with a joyous heart.
Coming to Christ is easy, being a Christ-Man is not.

The Issue is TRUST. . . Always was

It's taken me a while to write this because I've spent the last month working, remodeling our own home, and of course the usual (and unusual) church activities.  For the past two weeks, eighteen hour days have been the norm.  NOT WHINING, just explaining.   Actually it felt good to have our home prepared for friends and family this thanksgiving.
The men of our fellowship never cease to amaze me.  We're on chapter twelve of "Bond of Brothers" by Wes Yoder, and it is enjoyable to hear the comments coming from each of the men.  You learn a lot about your brother in the Lord when you ask them to share their favorite passage from the chapter.  As we began our around the table discussion, you could sense that there were very strong feelings about what Bro. Yoder wrote.  One of the things I like about the book, is that you can read it over and over without exhausting his profound insights into the Christian lifestyle.  I would like to meet him someday, preferably before exiting this present vale.
Our conversation though, got hung up on the idea guilt, confession, and sin.  NO SURPRISE!  Of course, these were the central themes of the book.  How do we as men come to the point where we can be real with one another?   What is needed to make a true 'bond of brothers?'  What does it take to move beyond the masks, facades, and fig-leafs we choose to cover ourselves with?
It takes trust, and always has.  Trust is the absolute surrender to someone else.  There can't be a relationship without trust.  It is why it is impossible to please God without it.  You have to believe that he exists and that he rewards those who diligently seek him.  That relationship with God can't become it's fullest relationship, without trust in your brothers and sisters in the Lord.  It implies being honest, transparent, dependable, and forgiving.  Those traits are hard to find in people who are self-centered.
As the discussion moved into deeper waters, we found ourselves discussing the issue of failure, sin, and mistakes. Is there hope for the recovering addict, the habitual liar, the man bound by porn, or even the less visible sins of gossip, cruelty, covetousness. . . .ad infinitum.   Can we expect to have real relationships with other men, when we won't even admit to ourselves that these things exist in ourselves?
Here is my take on the discussion, and a sloppy answer to at least one of the questions.

LOVE!

I know, it's a cheap shot. The three things that test our love are often the three things that keep us from loving to the full.  Pride is the number one issue we face in any relationship.  If someone disrespects us, it is extremely difficult to move beyond the injury to our pride.  One of the biggest relationship killers, is wounded pride.  Snide hurtful comments, winks, rebuffs, and snubs shake our sense of worth.  It's true of marriages, families, and friends.  The pride-full will often mask their insecurity by destroying the pride of others around them. Pride is the only thing God resists.  Why?  Because it is impossible to have a relationship when you are in competition with the one you love.  At one point or another, you will have to submit, or the relationship will die.
Another relationship killer is misunderstanding.  This comes from people trying to wear masks all the time.  Ask any married woman what she wants most from her man, and she'll tell you intimacy.  It's the same thing for any relationship.  Misunderstanding springs from a lack of intimacy.  When you really know someone, you know the 'why' of what they do.  It is why knowing that God is good, means you know that even when things don't make sense, you know He will make it work out for your good.  Intimacy is knowing the character of the person you are in a relationship with.
Lack of trust will kill any relationship.  It is essential.  I refuse to believe any relationship can endure a lack of trust.  That doesn't mean it won't be tested, tried, and even trashed, but trust is essential.  Love is impossible without trust.  AND YES!  As men of faith we are to love one another.  Commandment from the LORD!  Implied in that commandment to LOVE, is the equally strong commandment to trust.  If we can't trust our brother who we can see, how can we trust our God who we can't see?  The Bond of Brothers is all about trust, always was.

   

Am I Really Saved?

We finished up with Chapter Eleven in our men’s group study into the book Bond of Brothers by Wes Yoder.  We had four men from last week who didn't get the opportunity to share their favorite passage, so we spent the better half of the hour, finishing up last week’s business.   The passages took on a different flavor this week.  Those who shared this week shared more passages dealing with the community aspect of the chapter.  For those who weren't there, let me sum it up. 

Dying to ourselves, (a uniquely Christian concept)  is more than denying yourself, and being a good person.  It is a true change in who, and even what we are.  We become a new creation in Christ, unlike the person we were before.  Wes Yoder makes a very profound argument that our death to this present world, brings us into a community of life.  It is a relationship with the creator that binds us together in love.  It goes beyond knowing that He exists.  It goes beyond agreeing that Jesus is the Son of God.  Even the demons believe.  There is something more profound, and powerful that happens when we die to ourselves.  Our identity becomes the community of faith.   It should be the hallmark of our faith, not the exception.  I  wonder though, can it truly exist in America?   Are the Amish, and Mennonites the only ones who understand the sense of community we have in Christ Jesus?  Is there hope for the modern evangelical church?  Is there hope for me?  Can I live in this connected, hyper, electronic  age of wizardry and exhibit the kind of community that is based on Christ?   I’m not going to presume to speak for the other men, but I can tell you that my conscience was pricked by the comments made yesterday. 

It made me wonder if I was truly saved.  YES, you heard me right.  I grew up in the hellfire and brimstone days of Pentecostalism.  When I was a young man, going to football games was considered sinful.  Movies were completely out of the question.  Dancing was a sure indicator that you were a child of the devil, and don’t even get me going on smoking, or alcohol.  I never knew about John chapters 14 – 17.  You never heard them from the pulpit.  The measure of your salvation was made by what you abstained from, not what you did.  Gossip was entertainment, bickering was fun, and fighting over the color of the carpet was considered blasé.   How was I supposed to know that I’d been given everything I needed for life and Godliness?  No one ever told me that thinking on whatever was pure, and right, meant that I had to do those pure, and right things.  No one ever explained how we were to live in one accord.   Now I’m left with more troubling questions for myself. 

At 57 years of age going on 58,  AM I REALLY BORN AGAIN?   

After all these years, I know that there are still pockets of ME that haven’t been given over to Christ.  He isn’t Lord over all of me. 

What about my job?  I don’t have enough time to take care of my brother’s needs.  Do I really have to surrender everything?  Who’ll take care of me?  What about everybody else?  

The issue is time.  I can give money easily.  I love to give money.  I get a thrill out of knowing that there are people in Nicaragua who have a meal because I give. 

I can pray.  I've always enjoyed praying.  It’s easy.  I believe in prayer.  While prayer may be a problem for others, it isn't for me.  However, there are other things I don’t do.  My level of concern for the welfare of others is minimal at best.  I’m not heartless, just insensitive. 

The issue for me is time.  I’m not talking about the time given to the maintenance of the church, or even the daily to do of the fellowship, but more of the helpful concern for the daily lives of others.  I’m talking about the time given to spiritual relationships with one another. 

Our discussion Sunday morning caused me to do some serious soul searching.  Where am I in my life?  What do I really believe?  Am I really saved?  Am I still being de-programmed from the works oriented philosophy of my youth, or will I exchange my feel good measurements from one system of measurement for another.  Will my ‘serve’ be better than my volley? 

Is it something entirely different? 

I asked the men to go ahead and read chapter twelve, and be prepared to explain what they think a community of faith should be like.  I sure hope they don’t give me more to feel bad about.    I’m trying to work my way through last week.  

A Community of Life

Last week, I asked the men to read Chapter 11 once more and highlight their favorite passage.  I also asked them to be prepared to share that passage as well as explain why it meant so much to them.  I enjoy doing this, because it allows me to see the heart, and soul of the men in a way that very rarely gets seen in our hectic life.

I would love to tell you who made the comments, but we made a promise to one another that what was said would be kept in the men's group.

One of the first comments was sparked by a paragraph in Pg 170  about our lives being so hectic, that we rarely have time for community.  Isn't it community we actually want?  We create these virtual communities called Facebook, Twitter,  etc. etc. etc. . . .ad-inifitum, to replace the true sense of community that is shared around a table with brothers and sisters in the Lord.  His profound plea; we need to seize every opportunity to fellowship with one another.

From that one remark, the morning moved in a delightful affirmation of the joy of finding the LOVE of Christ in one another.  The restoration and rebirth we have in Christ brings us into a community of life, and love.  Our greatest joy is found in making decisions that are based upon what Christ wants us to do.  This gift has nothing to do with our righteousness, but the tender mercies of the Creator who loves the dead, and dying.  It goes to our identity with one another.  Is the creator our identity our are we doing this on our own power? Are we willing to give up everything to allow Him to fulfill his purposes in our life?   Is there a distinct difference between us, and those who don't know Christ?  What fills up our days?  If we are more concerned with our own personal needs, we won't know the peace that is born of a life of true community.  What makes Christianity attractive? What is the benefit of a life surrendered to Christ in the context of living an uninhibited life?  Christians aren't immune from sorrow, despair, tragedies of every ilk, so what is the big difference?
I ask you, and myself these questions paraphrased from the comments each man offered this morning.  They weren't questions when they were offered up.  Yet, as each man spoke his heart, I found myself asking myself the question that these comments engendered.  I am only now, after 47 years of calling myself a Christian, beginning to lay hold of some of the answers.  Everything I thought were answers so many years ago, have been stripped away.
Wes Yoder, makes the comment that we need to bury the crud in our life in the coffin we've built for ourselves.  Actually, I'd need a dumpster to handle all of my mess.
I'm so thankful for the men in our fellowship, and their willingness to share their hearts.   We still have three more people to share their favorite passage, but we'll do it next week.

Of Coffins, Death, and Life

I apologize for taking so long to write this blog.  I've been busy at home doing a bathroom remodel, trying to get ready for my children to come visit at Thanksgiving.  So, this blog is a little overdue.

As all of you who attend the Men's meeting are aware, Chapter 11 is my favorite.  The first time I read the book, I had to share this chapter with Pastor Eric.  There are so many deep, fundamental truths within the beautiful story of his Grandfather's Coffin.  It touched me at a level that goes to who I am as a builder, tradesman, and more so,  as a Christian.  It's a somber chapter, in that it deals with the issues of death and dying.  I can't help but wonder how many of us are really ready to die.  What happened to the sure knowledge that this life begins with a road sign pointing toward death?  The entrance, and exit ramp on this highway called life, are sure.  The minute you breathe, you are confronted with the inevitability of death.  It is how we live in between the start and the end, that makes a difference.  What Wes Yoder makes abundantly clear, is that it is our bond with the community of life, that makes the difference.

For those who've faced death head-on, there is almost a serene acceptance of what is just beyond that last breath.  For myself, my moment came as I was returning to Las Vegas on a  Boeing 727.  It was a military contract flight, and the weather conditions weren't the best.  The cross winds on the airfield were borderline, and we'd already been circling in pattern for over an hour.  The sun was beginning to set as we flew over Mount Charleston in our approach.  We were at 11,000 feet when suddenly the air disappeared beneath our wings.  The huge aircraft dropped flat for a second or two, then the #2 engine above the fuselage had a compressor stall.  The left wing dipped, and I looked out the window to see the desert floor rushing up towards us.  You would think that with an aircraft full of military men, expletives would be flying all over the place.  I can tell you I only heard two or three, "Oh, S....s."   What I did hear was a few men calling out 'Mom,' and a whole aircraft load of "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God."  I was bracing myself with the arm rest as the wing began to curve dangerously  upward,  and through tear filled eyes, I could see individual mesquite bushes below me.  The man next to me tried to brace himself, and crushed my hand in his attempt to find the handrail.  I felt the bone in my pinky finger crack, and his fingernails biting deep into my flesh.  I still have the scars to show for it.  I looked into his eyes and suddenly knew what death looked like.  It often comes upon you without warning, and when you least want it.  As you can tell, because you're reading this, we didn't die. The pilot managed to regain control of the plane, and restart the stalled engine.  I sure didn't want to clean that cockpit.  The rumor mill has it, that when she regained control of the flight, we were at 3,000 feet AGL. In flight terms, another thousand feet, and we'd have been a pile of burning metal and flesh on the desert floor just outside of Nellis Air Force Base.  Needless to say, when we finally landed, the entire passenger compartment erupted in applause.  Even the stewards and stewardesses applauded.  Good job, Dale.

Since that moment, death is a lot less frightening to me.  You see, while that plane was sliding sideways through the sky, I was sliding toward a place I had thought myself ready to go to.  Except, I didn't feel ready. I was told by my buddy who left his handprint in my flesh, that my eyes were as wide as saucers, and I was shaking like a leaf.  He swears, my only words were, "I'm sorry."   My problem is, I don't remember saying it.  I don't remember anything, but silently asking God to forgive me of my sins before I die.  I don't know who or what I as apologizing for.

I'm ready to die, now.  Not in a morose anticipation of death as an escape, but in a joyous expectation of what lies ahead.  Yes, I resist the pain I know comes with dying, but the actual passing doesn't scare me.

The men who attended Sunday's meeting know how I want to die, they know how I want to be remembered.  Still one thing is for sure; what I want I may not get.  Dying is an extremely personal thing.  All I know, is that I don't want a bunch of uncircumcised Philistines burying me either.  Thank you, Bro. Wes.  We need to have some kind of dignity brought back into the interment of our loved ones.

Your homework assignment for this coming Sunday is to re-read chapter eleven and highlight the ONE passage that spoke to you.

See you there.

Doing Church Better

If you haven't figured it out by now, I love the men in our fellowship. I eagerly look forward to any opportunity to be with them. Whether it is during the week, or in the process of doing 'Church,' I thoroughly enjoy every one of them. Yesterday's Men's group only served to reinforce my opinion of them. Last week, I assigned them to read chapter 10 once more and be prepared to explain one way we could “do church better.” It was a trick question, and I knew they would figure out what I was asking.  I also know from experience, that there are groups where the answers would be akin to things like: We could be friendlier. We could tone down or turn up the music. We need to shorten or lengthen the service. Change the carpet, move the pulpit, get a new Pastor. Our men knew what I was asking, and their answers were the kind of answers that reveal how we view ourselves.

I'm not going to waste a lot of time saying who said it, but here is a list of what was said.

• We could be more committed to one another and God. We need to come together to pray more.
• We need to give each other a greater degree of significance.
• We need to increase our devotion to one another, and take responsibility for our own actions.
• We need to strengthen one another and be more concerned with the welfare of others.
• We need to be interested in others.
• We need to do what we can do and stop waiting for others to do it
• We need to love more.
• We need to look outward toward the needs outside of our fellowship.
• We need to listen to the Holy Spirit more, and use His gifts more.

There were more people there, but some of the men repeated what others had already said. We barely made it around the table, so there wasn't much time for me to sew everything up into a nice neat bundle.

Chapter Ten of Bond of Brothers is a tough chapter. If you read my last blog, you know why. All across American, and to some extent, the World, we've faltered in our understanding of what 'Church' is. Church has become a verb instead of a noun. We've tacked it onto the end of our illustrious name we give ourselves, and we expect people to be able to discern the difference between our name and what we do. I believe it is why, except for a chosen few, 'church' is nothing more than two or three hours a week.

The reason it fails as a social experiment, is because you can't 'do' church. You are either the 'called out' or you aren't. You can have the most magnificent building, unending talent, genuinely interested leaders, and fantastic entertainment, but in the end you will have nothing more than an over glorified social club that does wonderful things in the guise of religion. Wes Yoder understands one thing that has somehow been lost in our attempts to 'do' church. The 'Church' is people, and we were made to have relationship with one another through Christ. That is why it is called a 'Body' by the Apostle Paul. The life's blood that flows through us, and holds us together, is the blood of Jesus. It is His Holy Spirit that bonds us together at a molecular level. Without the Holy Spirit, we are nothing more than individuals being held in a 'christian' shaped cake pan. We may have all the ingredients, be completely devoted to one another, and even mingle together, but until we've been mixed together to the point to where you can't tell us apart, we haven't attained.

Don't get me wrong, I believe God loves our unique qualities. You can't make a cake with flour only. A cake is made up of a host of ingredients, but until they are blended together, they are individuals that are barely palatable apart. So, to the men who pointed to our need for more of the Holy Spirit, my hat is off to you. It is the Holy Spirit that teaches us to love (1 Thessalonians 4:9) . Every effort to love by your own strength is noble, but if will fall short of the LOVE that you are capable of in Christ's Spirit. Dinner and Conversations without Christ's Spirit are nothing more than what men and women have done through the ages when they've met around the fire with nothing else to do. As Christians, we are told why we come together, and it would surprise you what that reason is. Why? Because so many fellowships and denominations have missed the point. A matter of fact, Christ never instructed us to meet together once or twice a week. HE EXPECTED MORE! He never provided us a model for how to 'worship' him except for one short sentence, “they shall worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.” That was all the instruction for worship he gave us. Why? Because all the previous instructions were still valid, but unheeded. If you don't do what you've already been told to do, why tell you to do anything more. His instructions were simple; Be Holy, love Justice, Love HIM, and Love one another.

Those of you who argue over form, music, style, size, and a host of other insignificant things, you need to revisit the Holy Spirit. Those things pale in the Presence of God. Even Solomon when he was desiring to build a temple for God, understood that the purpose of the Temple wasn't to house God, but for us to approach Him. Our fellowship, and Worship services, are for us to come to him, gain strength from one another, and then go out into our daily lives with His Spirit within us. The Church is waiting for us to come in, and the World needs Christ to come out with us. Anything less than HIS Spirit is a waste of time.   

What's Wrong With The Church?

Chapter Ten of “Bond of Brothers,” is my second least favorite chapter in the book, and at the same time, my second favorite chapter.  I don’t like the way it makes me feel, but it definitely makes me think.  It’s an awkward love/hate situation.  At one moment, I think I know what Wes is thinking, in another I’m convinced he doesn't know what he wants. Brother Yoder paints a dismal picture of the modern church, and at the same time, holds out hope for the future.  His complaint is that the men in the church are hopelessly isolated, insulated, and without real relationships.  Pastors are in need of friends, the brothers are less than transparent, and love is sadly lacking.  From the master generalizer, (myself) I respectfully say: NO, tain’t true.  I was glad when one of the Brothers in our Men’s group, simply said; “He comes from a different background than us.”     SO TRUE! 

Don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate Bro. Yoder’s observations. The worldwide church is a conflicted, split personality, working against itself across the spectrum of human endeavor.  All you have to do is watch enough Christian programming on TV, and listen to enough Christian radio shows, and you will pick up on the same issues that Brother Wes is deriding.  The Church has broken off into diametrically opposed factions, who spend their time lobbing canon shots at one another hoping to sink the opposition’s vessel of reason, or at best blow up their self absorbed delusional fantasies.  He paints the picture of a soulless, empty church stumbling along like a blind man groping for the truth.  Most of us would agree with him, if we were half-honest with ourselves. Somewhere in his rants and irritation, is the theme of the book; we have failed to find the power of relationship with one another through the love of Christ. It is a bleak picture, unless you happen to be one of those healthy fellowships.  If you are one of those healthy fellowships, can you endure a thorough self-inspection?  If during the inspection, you discover something is wrong,  are we willing to repent even if we think we’ve been doing things right?  Can the Lord chastise us through the voice of an author who’s never stepped foot in our church?  Are we really alright?

This morning I gave the men a homework assignment that asked; Can we do ‘Church’ better?  I can’t help but wonder if we’ve been doing it this way for so long, we don’t really know that it’s broke?  Maybe a better question would be; is it broke?   So many of the comments this morning were right on the mark.  Is it possible for us to discern when we are messed up?  What if you aren’t messed up?  What if you are doing all the right things, how would you know?  Is the size of a fellowship the measure of its success?   Can you be a ‘mega-church’ and be a ‘real’ church?  Is a small church better?  Is a large church better?  What is the measuring stick?  If size were the issue, then I imagine a church of twelve families would be considered a failure.  Yet, in His miraculous three-year ministry, Christ moved through this life with a core group of twelve men.  In today’s world, he would hardly warrant a listing in the phone book.  There has to be a better measure of whether a church is doing the right things.

Introspection and self-critique are two different things.  Introspection is based upon your own perception of you.  Reading Bond of Brothers, and evaluating yourself by the things Wes Yoder says, will not lead to change, because you are still looking at yourself from your own point of view.  It’s easy to offer up excuses, reasons, and give yourself pardon for who you are.  You can convince yourself that you are already doing things right.  However, if we read books like this one with an open heart to embrace the good things put before us, we won’t need to focus on what is wrong with our church.  When we look at ourselves in the mirror of what Jesus did, if we truly become envious of the life He lived, we will gravitate toward what we desire instead of avoiding what we don’t like.  I am saying this, because I believe our fellowship is  genuinely open to the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Can we do things better?  Yes.  Are we headed in the right direction?  Yes.   All you have to do is look how far we’ve come in the short time we’ve been a fellowship.  Is it a reason to sit on our laurels?  No.  I am hopeful for the Church.  I am more than hopeful for the church in Harrison, and I am convinced of the viability of our own fellowship. 

Brother Wes, I would like to invite you to our fellowship. We have a Pastor who is more than a friend.  Before we begged him to go ‘full time,’ he owned and worked in his own business.  He knows the savagery of working all day and then coming to church on Wednesday nights dog tired, and beat.  He knows what it is like to live on nothing, work your guts out, and then have someone ask you for more money than you have in your bank account.  He’s not the only Pastor like that. Harrison, Arkansas is filled with men like that.   Bro. Yoder,  I think when you are a man of your professional stature, you move in circles where the clichés abound, and men lose touch with one another.  Our men work hard.  We strive against a failing economy that isn’t of our own creation, to provide for our families with meager incomes.  We openly declare our weaknesses, addictions, and past addictions without fear of judgment to one another. We depend upon one another to be honest and help us grow.  Our men range from those with Masters Degrees, to those with a GED. Yet, we break bread with one another in a sincere desire to give life to one another.   Twelve-year-old boys sit down at the same table with men in their sixties.  We believe that if we ever feel we’ve attained, the Holy Spirit will stop talking to us.  We believe He put his gifts within us to perfect us.  He is the anvil against which we are formed.  I pray that we never say we have arrived, or grow tired of moving beyond the last revelation, but at the same time, I don’t accept the criticism that the Church has failed.  I don’t believe we are on life support either.  Televangelists, and Radio personalities are not indicative of who we are.  I don’t believe they are indicative of 80% of the churches in America.  In our own felIowship, I personally see God’s Spirit moving us to that place in Him where we can be truly effective.  Our men believe that each successive generation needs to know that there is more to add to the equation.  As long as we are here, as long as boys hold the promise of being men, we owe it to one another to seek to be better, to do it better, and to be more like our big brother.  PROOF:  We are reading your book as a study. 

Here at Real Ministries, and at many other fellowships in our fair city, relationship, and friendship have been our guiding principles from the very start. 

For those of you who weren’t there this morning, I asked everyone to read the chapter again and identify one thing we need to do better.  I know, it’s a hard chapter, but it should spur us on to become more like Christ.  

At The Heart of Betrayal

Our Men's group moved into Chapter Nine of “Bond of Brother's,” Sunday. I wasn't really ready for it. 

One of the things I've learned over the years as a teacher of men, is that they will only get as much as I've prepared for. I'm not just talking about study preparation, but also prayer combined with abstinence from things I know contaminate my spirit. This Sunday's Men's Group confirmed that once more. My work schedule over the last two days before Sunday, had put me in a negative sleep situation. Add a little bit of watching the wrong TV shows, and a dose of laziness, and you have the perfect recipe for failure to get the point across. I admit it, I have become a man of routines. My spiritual life depends upon that machine working according to a set routine.  I broke that routine in a major way this weekend, and needless to say, I don't think we made it to where we needed to be. Thankfully, the Pastor took it on out into the morning's service, and put it all together.

The subject of Chapter Nine, was betrayal. Live on this planet for more than a year or two, and you will experience betrayal. If suffering is inevitable, betrayal will probably be the source. Those who hold to a utopian idea of walking through this earth in utter bliss, unaffected by greed, power, or lust, have never met a human being. Those secular humanists who believe you can 'educate' mankind into a wonderful state of happy godhood, ascend into a state of perfection, and live above man's petty vices, forget that not all men want to be educated.  What do you do with them, kill them?  There goes your utopia if you know what I mean. 

Those who hold this life dear to their heart, will eventually come face to face with the reality that someone they love, love's this life more than they do. In this fertile ground, is the seed of betrayal. The truth is, the only one who can betray you, is the one you love. We reserve our worst punishment for traitors. Why? Because at the heart of it all is relationship. At some point, you trusted someone, loved them, and hoped for the best from them. Betrayal destroys all three. You expected better of them. You feel betrayed, because you believed in them. One of the saddest commentaries on this modern age, is that we put our trust, faith, and hope into people we don't even know. PROOF of that was the huge flap over the young movie actress who was caught having an affair with her director. Twitter and Facebook came alive with thousands of posts expressing the sorrow these people felt at being betrayed by the actress.

THEY DIDN'T KNOW HER!!!!!!!

They'd fallen in love with her romantic movie persona. They thought the person she was pretending to be was really her. Auuuuugggghhhhh!! We elect Presidents based upon what we think they are, and then become outraged when we discover they aren't. We call them liars. As Christians, we lift up ordinary men, and women until they assume messianic levels, and then hang them on a cross when they reveal their weakness. In every country, in every government, tribe, or family, is the desire to lift to greatness those of exceptional ability, heart, or spirit. At the heart of it, is the assumption that surely there is someone better than us. Surely on this planet, there is a human being worthy of the love and adulation we mortals can lavish on those we deem greater than ourselves. We want to believe this until we are ultimately betrayed.

There is only one who has withstood the temptations of power, lust, and greed. There is only one who is worthy of all praise. The problem is; He's not standing right in front of us. Hollywood, books, schools, and even false teachers, have tarnished his image. Jesus alone is what we are looking for. Even then, when we find him, we find ourselves looking for more, something better, something . . . .real Then we find betrayal.

At the heart of all of this, is another word that puts everything into perspective: forgiveness. You can say all the right things, do all the right things, profess Jesus till your blue in the face, but if you don't forgive, you won't be forgiven. Forgiveness overcomes the sorrow of betrayal. Forgiveness is the healing balm of Gilead. Forgiveness is the divine nature at work within us. Forgiveness is the one gift that gives both ways. Forgiveness has one amazing power that elevates us to being Christlike more than any other gift. If you forgive, you absolve God of having to do anything about the betrayal. While Vengeance is the Lord's, FORGIVENESS is yours. You have the power to change God's mind by simply refusing to let the wound fester and become infected. When you forgive someone of their sins against you, you remove retribution out of the picture. You wipe their slate clean. HOWEVER, if the idea of holding your grudge appeals to you, un-forgiveness is like a double edged razor, it cuts both ways. The cup of vengeance is full for the one who offended you, but your own hatred is a full cup already.

When we began Chapter Eight, there were those who wondered how sorrow could be good. In chapter nine, there were those who wondered how betrayal could bring about anything worthwhile. Let God be your answer. WE say that God loves unconditionally, but without conditions, he would not be capable of that kind of love. He loved us while we were yet enemies. To be His enemy we had to have been against him. It is in this deep mystery of life, that we discover the truth I've been trying to share with all of you for the last four weeks. Everything we've experienced, the Creator has experienced in measures beyond our understanding. Imagine his great sorrow as each successive generation denies him, refuses to do what he expects, and fails to trust that he will do what he says he will do. These feelings are at the heart of betrayal. HE knows what it feels like, because he's been betrayed. Now imagine his great joy at forgiving us of those sins. Joy's heights can only be measured against sorrow's depth. Faith is measured against those things which task it, and hope can only be measured against the hopelessness that calls it forth. These are the source of our power in Christ Jesus. At the moment of our worst betrayal, hope can rise up. To protect ourselves and those we love, we forgive. To move away from the sorrow, we can trust that God will work it all for our good.

For those who weren't there Sunday, read chapter ten.    

Sorrow's Power

Our study into Wes Yoder’s book, the “Bond of Brothers” stalled out on the topic of sorrow being the hand that shapes us. Most of the time, our men are very animated and talkative about even the most embarrassing parts of their life, but within this discussion, it is almost as if we’ve stepped into forbidden territory.  Are the issues of betrayal, rejection, and pain too much to admit to?  Is Wes Yoder right about men covering up their deepest sorrows with small talk, and religious duty, or have these men truly found the God of all comfort?  Have they discovered the river of life that flows from heaven’s throne and washes clean those who step into its healing flow?  Is there nothing to say, because they’ve already given it to the one who knows, and cares for them?  Is this the point where we split ways with Brother Wes, and admit that some things are best given to the Lord, and left alone?  As I looked around the room at all of the men whom I have come to love like a brother, I believe the latter is true. 

However, for many, the depths of sorrow are never completely plumbed until the moment a mind closes the gate to the pain from which it springs. Insanity, madness, and cruelty are the fruits of a man crushed by sorrows. If you want to explore the power of faith, remove hope.  Hopelessness becomes self-sustaining, till once vital men become shadows, empty husks, without joy, breathing, but dying in the quicksand of their own blackened imaginations.  T.S. Eliot in his poem “The Wastelands,”  said; “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”  The greatest fear in any man is the fear of a meaningless life.  Suicide, self-mutilation, emulation upon the fires of senseless lusts become the antidote for the sorrows without purpose.  For the man trapped in hopelessness, pornography, sexual addictions, chemical dependency, gluttony, physical abuse, emotional abuse, are all just symptoms of a broken heart that has never found joy at the bottom of sorrow. 

If as Wes Yoder wrote in Chapter Eight, sorrow is the hand that shapes us, then every one of us need to encourage one another to keep our eyes fixed on the finish.  However, if the finish we are running toward is only to satisfy the lusts of our flesh, or no greater than our own selfish desires, then we have missed the point of the sorrows.  If we grieve only for ourselves, we become disfigured, cruel, empty, and darkened against all hope of redemption.  Without hope, we become less than we could have been.  In the course of my life, I’ve known men who owned no cloak of invisibility, whose every breath seemed to draw in unspeakable horrors.  My heart would break for them, until I sensed that they enjoyed the sympathy the pain brought them. I’ve also known men who moved through insurmountable obstacles with effortless grace, unwilling to allow the sorrow to throw a handful of dust upon their graves.  In the end, as you face your last breath, it isn’t about your belief in God.  It isn’t whether you succumbed to your worst fears, or stood defiantly upon the blooded hills of your greatest achievements, and laughed at those less courageous than you.  In the end, after every dart has left it’s wound, and every cut has become a healed scar, any man who has a shred of virtue left in him, will wonder if he left anything of value behind.  Those who’ve placed their trust in Christ can be assured they have. 

I can’t help but think of the Apostle Paul, writing to his dear friend Timothy.  Like Paul, have I run the race to win?  Have I fought the good fight?  Every picture the Apostle Paul drew upon, and that we adore as Christian men, is fraught with struggle, sorrow, and bitter disappointment.  The runner fights against the body’s desire to quit, to submit to the effects of fatigue.  We all admire the runner who reaches down from somewhere beyond muscle and sinew into a wellspring that is mystical, and God given.  In the same moment we are rejoicing with the one who found that inner strength, we groan with those who can’t find that place beyond hope, and do not cross the line in victory.  Sorrow trips them up, and they listen to the song of their flesh.  They never reach into the strength beyond knowing .  Let’s admit it dear brothers, we are all in the same race, and the goal is beyond the knowledge of our death warrant that was signed upon the day of our conception.

 

Wes Yoder bemoans the fact that as American Christian men, we don’t prepare one another, or even comfort one another in those times when sorrow is pressing in upon us.  He sees men suffering in quiet agony as God’s mighty hand works to make us greater than ourselves.  As a man who works with tools all day, I know that the tools that shape us seem cruel to the untrained eye, just as the craftsman’s tools must seem cruel to the stone waiting to be shaped.  My reply to Brother Yoder is:  how do you prepare any man for the betrayal of friends, brothers, mothers, fathers, wives, and even children?  How do you prepare a wide-eyed youngster for the cut of despair made at the hands of those he thought he could trust?  What do you say to your child as he prepares for God’s operating table called life?  How do you tell a young man beginning his adult years, that the young woman who trembles at his touch, will one day seem cold and heartless in her rejection of his passion?  What can you say to a man cradling his infant child, that will hold him together when that child becomes a teenager, and angrily storms out of the house in rebellion against the father’s deepest beliefs?  None of us can be prepared for the personal pain that we experience when life throws us the equivalent of a train wreck.   Even if I sat down and made a history of those things that have ripped my soul apart, the truth is that no one will ever experience what I’ve experienced.  You might be able empathize, but you won’t be able to feel it.  Sorry, Bro. Wes, this is where you and I part ways.  You can have all the dinner and conversations you want, but when a man is in the midst of his greatest sorrow, it is between him and God.  The Book of Job should make this clear.  Job’s friends could only make his sorrow deeper.  In the end, it was God Himself, who stepped in and put an end to the fiasco.  There is no sense to betrayal.  There is no reason for abuse.  There are no answers for the innocent who are thrown beneath the bus.  We can only cling to the knowledge, that at the end of our sorrow, there is a God who makes all things work together for good to them who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose. 

During the class, I hoped to comfort you with the knowledge that you are facing nothing less than what our own precious creator has endured.  Betrayal, rejection, rebellion, heartbreak, pain, grief, and even anger at the cruelty of life’s bitter drink have been inflicted upon the creator of the universe.  We suffer because we are created in the image of a suffering God.

What?  God suffer sorrow? 

More than you’ll ever know in your allotted days.  It is because He has endured them, He understands us.  It is because He knows the depths of our sorrows, that He knows their power to transform us into greater beings than we would be if our lives were empty of any struggle or conflict.  The creator of all life has known every bitter pill we swallow, and in the end, it has made Him a being of love.  Love trumps every aspect of His nature, and allows Him to redeem that which He loves, even though Justice demanded our destruction.  Love became the salve that carried Him through the rejection of a third of the angels.  Love drove Him to call out to fallen man even though He knew before He called out what had happened.  You see, I bring it back to the one truth that I know to be self-evident; all sorrow is born of relationship.  My deepest sorrow is that I betray the Lord almost every day.  Even though my heart is ever set upon Him, He is the one I fail the most.  Still, He desires me, and calls to me in the cool of the day.  “David, where are you?”  In my fear and shame, I can only hold the fig leaf of my betrayal against my nakedness and declare my love for Him. 

That is why Chapter Nine is such a powerful moment of truth.  In it, we have the answer to our own betrayals of the Lord we say we love.  In the end it isn’t about our knowledge, but our relationship.  That is why in the end, HE WILL wipe away every tear.  Who other than our loving redeemer can erase the bitter tears born of sorrow?  We must trust our end to the one who endured more sorrow than we could ever imagine.

I’d like to apologize to my Bro. Charles for the length of this post.  I couldn’t find a point to be brief, and the prose wouldn’t stop.  

HOMEWORK:  Read Chapter Nine- and highlight a passage that speaks directly to  you.  

Why Sorrow?

Last Sunday's assignment was to be ready to share one moment of sorrow that forever shaped you life. 

It is easy for men to share the grand victories, the great accomplishments, and the stupendous feats of courage.  The history of mankind is full of tall tales and legends born of men recounting a lesser or more mundane feat till it becomes something far removed from the thing it was.  I once read an account of Daniel Boone, in which he said he often lamented the tall-tales told about him.  He said that his life was far more difficult, and far less heroic than the stories made it out to be.  Our heroic moments display our feelings at the instant they were needed, however, it is upon the anvil of sorrow, that men are forged into greater beings than themselves.  It is when we yield to the Master’s well-aimed blows, that the steel that makes us who we are, is folded in upon itself, and forced to become a part of the strength that defines us.  The finest Damascus steel doesn’t shine or reflect the light with a brilliance born of quick forging and hours of polishing.  The dull gray steel belies the hundreds of folds, and hours spent in the furnaces.  When swords crash blade to blade, Damascus steel sings with the song true temper.  Our sorrows do not sharpen us, but they do shape us.  If we allow God to mold us, and help us become obedient to His will, we will enjoy the privilege of being the finest steel He can forge.  Otherwise, we become just so much re-bar. 

For some of us, the moment He sets the hammer to us, we whine and complain against the strikes.  Wasn’t it enough to be fired in the furnace? Must the creator drive us into the anvil of nothingness?  Some of us, were too young to understand the Master’s work, we accept the blows until we’re told we don’t have to accept them.  We become hard, and brittle, shattering at the slightest impact. 

When we discuss and share our sorrows, we find ourselves joining in with a long lineage of Patriarchs who not only felt compelled to reveal their great moments of faith, but also their moments of utter despair and failure. It is how we act in failure, and in victory that defines us.  Both are just as true. 

As our men began to talk this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit warning me not to open the books of sorrow that are written in each one of us.  Instead, we had a wonderful dialogue upon ‘Why’ we have to go through sorrows. 

I’m one of those people who hate ‘Sunday School’ answers.  I despise the religious, pious, answers we make up without any scriptural reason behind them.  We experience sorrow, suffering, and pain, because we are like our God.  Our God suffered before the foundation of the world was laid.  He was betrayed before any of us ever knew the sting of betrayal.  He was crucified before the first human walked upon the face of the earth.  We suffer, so that we may be like him. 

The problem with mankind, is that we view our life upon this vale as being uniquely human, and that God has never felt our pain.  We view Him as an emotionless, abject, being incapable of feeling our deepest sorrows.  “He’s God, all He has to do is say the word, and it could change in an instant.” 

He did change it in an instant.  He spoke us into existence.  In that instant, the lamb was slain, the Son was given, the die was cast.  Why we experience sorrow, is because He wants relationship with us, based on choice, not on programming.  If sorrow is the meat of my humanity, then I know him whom I’ve loved in the fullness of His suffering.  To love me, is to suffer great sorrow.  He was so willing to do so.

The Shape of Our Sorrow

Over the course of our study into Wes Yoder’s book, Bond of Brothers, I haven’t really stopped to sing the praises of Mr. Yoder and his book. The depth of spiritual insight and truth woven into the fabric of the book is remarkable.  This makes my second time through the book, and I’m still finding golden threads of truth woven into his simple, but provocative words.  As much as I loved chapter seven, it is chapter eight that brings us to the very heart of God, and intriguingly enough, our own heart.  The title, in and of itself should have been our first clue that the truth that awaited us was deeper than just saying we all have hurts.  “SORROW – THE HAND THAT SHAPES US”  is a mirror that reflects the soul of a loving God. 

In preparation for the study, I asked the men to read the chapter without giving them any clue as to where we were going with the information.  When the men arrived this morning, I had only one question; “What is sorrow?” 

The problem is, we don’t know. 

One of the most powerful forces in our lives, is also one of least understood.  Is sorrow grief, disappointment, pain, or agony?  Is there a difference between physical pain, and suffering and sorrow?  If Christ was described by the prophets and the apostles as a man of sorrows, what was the source of his sorrow?  Why was the messiah described as a man of sorrow, afflicted, and despised?   Why would God inhabit our sorrow?  Wasn’t it enough that he became sin for us?  Why did he have to suffer our sorrows, and endure our greatest frailties?  Why would the Creator of all things take upon himself the form of a slave, hunted, abused, betrayed, and eventually murdered for the very ones he came to redeem? 

As we knocked around the outside of these questions, we came to one conclusion.  While we may suffer pain, affliction, or even unending hardship, sorrow can only be born of relationship.  We may suffer injury by our own hand, but when it is inflicted by others, it brings us great sorrow.  Only people we care about or we make ourselves vulnerable to, can cause us to feel sorrow.  It is deeper than physical pain, and goes to our being given everything we need to participate in the divine nature.  (More on that next week.)  A matter of fact, we quickly discovered that the inevitable end of being intimate, and vulnerable is to suffer sorrow.  If relationships are the source of our sorrows, what happens in those relationships to bring us sorrow? 

Betrayal is the first and foremost cause of sorrow.  Everything else is only a variation of betrayal.  The reason for that, is because our trust has been violated.  Which brings us to the man of sorrows actually being the God of Sorrows.  The creator of heaven and earth understands betrayal more than any of us.  The being who breathed his life into our lungs, was betrayed by the very beings he desired to empower and love.  Did he have to come to earth and suffer as a man to understand sorrow? 

NO, he fully understood it.  From the beginning of time, He has lived with the very same agony we all go through.  He is the model for us to emulate, and strive after.  His love is the purest we can hope to  live.  It isn’t born in laws, codes, or forms, it thrives in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.  Sorrow is the sister of joy, and is born of being completely given over to others.  We will never know the fullness of his joy until we are fully acquainted with his sorrow.  Those who preach any other gospel, are hucksters and charlatans at best. 

In preparation for next week, I asked the men to re-read chapter eight and to be ready to discuss one of their greatest sorrows that shaped their lives. 

Should be interesting to say the least.

All That is Beautiful and Good

It’s been a frustrating couple of weeks, especially in terms of meeting the commitments to this blog,  and  “The Sparrow’s Perch.”  I think I have a damaged Cat-5 cable to our router at the church, and have been unable to pursue a solution to it largely due to lack of finances.  I’ve had the time, but very little work over the last week.  I’M NOT WHINING.  These things happen over the course of our lives, and in each time of distress or struggle, we can choose to be blown away, or we can move ahead in Christ Jesus.  He is my source, even in famine or pestilence.  Actually, it is when all is well that my faith is tested.  When the work of my hands is prosperous, and I take my ease, the pleasures I’ve bought begin to crowd out my time with the Lord.   No, I don’t want to stay on the edge of poverty, but I do want the Lord to bring me into a place where his gifts and favor are given back in equal measure to a blessed life.  I want to live in that place where my walk is consistent no matter how wealthy or how poor I am.  So, to make a long story short, this blog is written from my Tablet.  The tablet is not cooperating due to a conflict with the keyboard and the blog editor.  Every time I capitalize, I have to hit the shift button again and wait till it goes back to input mode.  Needless to say, this blog will be short. 

We finished studying chapter seven of Bond of Brothers and discussed our God given appreciation of beauty.  Last week I asked the men to find one thing of beauty to talk about, other than their wives.  Talk about an interesting session.  For those of you who are ‘spiritual purists’  the discussion was surprisingly devoid of ‘Sunday School’ answers.  I fully expected them.  I expected someone to say; “I think the Lord is beautiful.”    DUH!  So do I.  Let’s work harder than that, and we did.  It quickly became apparent that a good portion of us, like sunrises and sunsets.  A good cup of coffee, a beautiful sunrise, and a man is sent into appreciation heaven.  Our lives move at such a hectic pace and are overloaded with so many modern conveniences, a simple sunrise can bring us to tears.  Maybe our wives would be surprised to know how many of their men find this simple pleasure rewarding. 

Things that are beautiful: 

A well formed horse, feeling free and alive. 

Sunsets and sunrises,

A sonogram of a father’s first child

A classic car  

The Sound of a V8 motor with glass packs

Young people in abandoned worship,

Wild animals being themselves

The beauty of the Universe as beheld through  the Hubble Telescope

Despite what the media, and Hollywood would have you believe, men are capable of appreciating the beauty of the world around them.  Our appreciation for beauty is for more than  a gorgeous woman.  We were made to appreciate and worship the creator of all life and the creation he made.   The heart of a man can be stirred to depths of wonder at the innocence of a newborn child, the purity of those for whom life has purified their hearts with endless innocence.  We are able to see the beauty within the voices of children singing in choirs, the life in a painting, movie, or the words written in a book.  We are enthralled at the discipline and strength within the body of well trained athlete. 

Men are in awe of honor, and deeply appreciative of the beauty all around them.  We have to raise up a new generation of men who break away from the perverted idea of beauty and embrace true beauty.  

The Telling

Who we are isn't in the statistics, dates, times, or places we've been. Who we are, is in the stories of our lives. In chapter six of Wes Yoder's book, “Bond of Brothers,” he makes a strong appeal to men to keep the stories of their lives, and to share them. It is in the telling of our stories that people really come to know us. Our lives are more than 140 character tweets, facebook posts, or Flicker picture posts. This sea of humanity undulates with the rhythm of life, and we find ourselves crashing upon one another in explosions of life, death, and glorious hope in between. There isn't one human being upon this earth that has escaped the role we all play. Even the most discarded of human beings, at any given moment breathes hope in, and hope is the story.

Because of the personal nature of the stories told yesterday morning, I won't repeat any of them here. What I will tell you, is that they are better than any movie, funnier than any sitcom, and more vibrant than any book you may read. It is the telling, that makes our lives real. History is the telling. The Bible is the telling. Greek tragedies, Shakespeare, Tolstoy, are the telling. We all have a telling, some of which are more rich and vibrant than any work of fiction.

We all do it, whether over a deck of cards, the dinner table, or within a warm family gathering, we all have a telling. It is the stories that reveal our true nature. The stories remove the masks and the costumes we put on. The stories reveal our hopes, our fears, our triumphs, and most importantly, what we cherish. The stories prove we are human, and that we, like all people are caught in the eternal tidal pull of life and death. Telling the stories, is a healing process. In the telling we watch the faces of those around us to see if there is a glimmer of recognition. The stories are always different, but the themes and questions are all the same.

Do you know how I felt, when I rushed my wife to the hospital for the birth of our first child?

 Do you know the stark raving fear, and pain of seeing a child in a situation to which you had no control? 

 Do you know the utter sense of euphoria that comes over a man when his request for the hand of a young maiden is granted. 

 Do you know the weight that bears down on your heart when your child comes home defeated in school, even though trying as hard as they might.

These stories haven't changed throughout the eons.

As Christians, it's easy to assign everything in our lives to a capricious, manipulative God, and negate the fact that our stories are precious to him. Do we realize they are written, and stored in scrolls in heaven. What should grip our hearts even more, is that those stories can become the foundation of hope for someone who needs just one reason to hang on.  The stories don't have to be valiant stories of faith and courage.  The Bible is full of stories where the person did something dumb.  Somewhere in the past, long ago, a young Christian woman opened the door to her home to find the Apostle Peter standing at the door. Gasping, she slams the door in his face, and in terror reports to those gathered in the room to pray for the very same Peter, that he was there. Then imagine the chastisement she received at the hands of those praying. Until, . . . 

We wouldn't know this happened, if someone hadn't told the story. I'm sure the story was told with great howls of laughter and finger pointing to one another, until it became a story that Bro. Luke would hear and retell for us to read  two thousand years later. The book of Acts is still being written today, let's find the time to tell our stories.

Everyone read Chapter Seven for next week.

An Intimate Morning with the Brothers

There are times when our men’s group is easy to write about, and then there are times. . . . . .when it is almost better not to say anything. Today, was one of those times when a quick summary is the best way to tell you what happened. I’d planned on the men sharing some of their homework assignments, but it didn’t happen.

It was almost as if the Holy Spirit said; “NEVER MIND!”

What was said, was totally in line with chapter six.

Here’s what was said in bullet statements.

• Men tend to take themselves a little too seriously.
  • It is better to live, laugh, and love (Who’d we borrow that from?)
• Past abuses, and immature behavior require a great deal of effort and time to repair.
  • If our wives don’t listen to us anymore, it is probably because we never really listened to them.
• It is better to live a life of love and grace, than to demand respect and obedience
  • You do the right things because they are right, not because they can garner favor
  • Demands, lectures, and preaching to our families does not replace loving by example
    We found ourselves confronting one of Wes Yoder's main points of the book; The discussion between fathers and sons is a crucial stepping stone to raising better husbands and fathers in future generations. We who claim to be God's children, can't afford to assume that our sons will get what we know by osmosis. We can't assume that they are getting it through Wednesday, or Sunday night services. We can't even assume that they are taking it in through our Men's group. The true power of a Kingdom life is in living a life of love in your home, with explanations, 8 x 10 glossies with circles and arrows, and lots of reading in the instruction manual. It is pulling your son aside and letting him know what you did right, and even more importantly, what you did wrong (I guarantee you, they'll already know.) The best tool of all is total humility. The last thing you need to teach your son is how to behave as the first Adam did. When we find ourselves blaming our wives, or asking that death invoking question; “What about me?”, we doom another generation of young men to learn what we learned all over again. Let's move forward. Let's leave a better spiritual legacy.

I know this doesn’t help those who weren’t there this morning, but due to some of the intensely personal discussions, I am a little reticent about giving you the context. So, this will be one of the few times I’m going to tell you to talk to me if you want to know what was said. You’ll have to trust me that it was all good, and I found myself double-checking my own heart numerous times.

I still want to hear the stories, so your homework is. . . .do last weeks homework.    

The Insanity of Isolation

It was good to be back with my brothers in the Lord this morning.  The trip to San Antonio for my son Anthony’s wedding, was a blur of activity punctuated with moments of immense joy.  It was an awesome time with new family, and old family alike, but it was way too short, and way too hectic.  Next time we go down that way, it will be to visit.

 

Now to the lesson. 

Thanks to Bro. Charles for stepping in and taking care of the study while I was away.  He assigned Chapter Six to us, so I had to get myself back up to speed.

As I read Chapter Six, I found myself taken back to our study into “Every Man’s Marriage.”  Bro. Yoder’s book wasn’t intended to be a marital self-help book, but there are moments when he can’t help but go there.  If you are going to talk about men, you invariably have to talk about women, spouses, mothers, and daughters. 

As the first of three boys, my concept of women was totally based on my mother.  My mother is not like all other women (to which all my family can testify,) and I totally messed up my first marriage expecting my first wife to be like her.  Thankfully, for my second wife (of over 36 years and counting) I figured it out, and did not hold her to that image.  However, I did spend the first few years of our marriage trying to understand women.  You can imagine my sheer terror when my first child turned out to be a girl.  WHAT?  You want me to father a. . . girl?   I am more convinced than ever, God has a wild sense of humor.  As if to prove his point to me, he gave me another daughter quickly thereafter.  It was in this jumble of WOMEN, that I learned one truth of which no man can shake me; MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT ALIKE.  It is more than the plumbing, it’s the wiring.  I’m sure that I’ll get lots of hate comments from wild-eyed feminists and neutral genderists, but as the father of two girls, and one boy, I can tell you there is a difference.  I believe this is why Wes Yoder titled chapter six of his book; THE POWER OF OPPOSITES. 

Even though Bro. Charles assures me he assigned everyone to read chapter six, it was obvious that not everyone had.  So, I had to improvise upon my original plan.  NO, let me rephrase that; the Holy Spirit had other plans.  I had hoped to spend time discussing what I saw as the obvious differences between the books: Every Man’s Marriage and Bond of Brothers.  Instead, we found ourselves discussing why your wife can’t be your best friend, and then we eventually began to discuss the insanity of isolation. 

It wasn’t hard to go this direction, because Wes Yoder deals with both issues from the beginning of the chapter. We discovered that Bro. Yoder was right, a man should never make his wife his best friend.  Each of us had stories of things we would never say or share with our wives, not out of fear, but out of respect for the lovely creature to whom God had bonded us with.  We don’t have any business dumping our “crap” on the one whom we cherish.  Our best friends, can take our crap and not make it their own.  We can tell our best friend when someone rains on our parade and they’ll tell us where to find umbrellas.  However, if you tell the same thing to your wife, it will take her three times longer than you to get over it.  Eventually, you give her enough garbage, she’ll begin to gag.  So, we all pretty much resolved that we would treat our wives better than our best friend.  Hmmm! So, for all of you wives who want your men to be your best friend, think again. Trust me, you don’t want us to give you the mess in our lives.  You’ll eventually hate us.

From this point, it wasn’t but just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the insanity of isolation.  That is what Wes Yoder’s book is all about.  Men who are isolated, have no way to remain sane.  Every great man of God who has failed throughout the ages, did so because he allowed himself to be cut off from his woman and his fellow men. It is in the throes of isolation that our imaginations run wild.  When our focus is on ourselves, vanity overthrows reality, and the lies of the evil one are left unexposed to fester. As someone who used to believe he could be a hermit, I know what this dark place looks like.  I’ve seen the filthy underbelly of my own self-centeredness.  I know what it is like to have morbid thoughts and twisted dreams.  I’ve turned on the light in the middle of the night and seen the wild-eyed creature that sneaks up when no one is there to talk sanely.  I truly believe that every vile and despicable thing men are capable of doing, is birthed in the torture chambers of isolation.  I also know, that the distance between the presence of God, and living in hell on earth, is measured in the few brief seconds it takes to make a phone call, write a text, or reach for your wife’s hand.  Isolation can occur even if you are in the largest church, the loudest family, or even in a crowded city.  Isolation is the incubator of insane thoughts and motives.  A man who is isolated, will blame everything on everyone else.  He can have a loving and devoted wife, but see her only as the reason for all of his ills.  He can be surrounded with caring and compassionate friends, and believe that he is the only one who sees things clearly.  Isolation is only a hairs breadth from desolation.  It is why we need our bond of brothers.

 

Ladies, let me tell you, you are not enough!  There is a place in your man, you don’t want to go. There are thoughts only another man can understand, and help him deal with.  There are things you don’t need, or want to know.  When the insanity of isolation comes sneaking in the back door, it takes another man to grab those thoughts and reveal them for the lies they are.

 

Finally, for those brothers who weren’t there this morning, here’s your assignment.  I want you to all read chapter six.  I also want you to be ready to recount your funniest  husband and wife story (make sure your wife knows what you are going to share.)  I also want you to be ready to share one of the most trying times in your marriage.  Same rule applies.  The stories of our lives are what give us the courage to go on.  

WHO AM I ?

WHO AM I

This morning, in our Men’s Group, we continued our study into Chapter five of ‘Bond of Brothers.’   If I were to sum up this week’s study into one word, it would be SIGNIFICANCE.  Actually I would rather use four words: The illusion of Significance. 

Wes Yoder paints a realistic picture of the men who live their lives searching for significance.  It is fleeting, and often not accorded to us while we are alive.  Very few men in this mortal plane, achieve significance.  It is easy to gain fame, notoriety, and even achieve great things, but significance is fleeting.  The talented gain fame in whatever endeavor they are talented in if they are disciplined enough to harness their gift.  The powerful, crafty, and charismatic will gain notoriety or villainy.  There are those who with a combination of talent, money, wisdom, charm, and power, will achieve great things, but significance has nothing to do with any of our latent abilities, gifting, or skills.  Significance is reserved for those who rise above seemingly hopeless odds, insurmountable challenges, or world changing events with their dignity and integrity intact. 

Often times, when we are looking to be significant, we are actually looking for validation.  Is there a good reason for me to keep using up valuable air?  OR,  as Wes Yoder asks; “is this all there is?”  Some men are content to live their lives in anonymity, and never live beyond the scope of their skills, talents, or gifting.  In America, we place our value in the sports stars, actors, or even politicians who rise above the common rabble. We idolize them, pay money to go see them, support them, and even die a little when they fail.  We hitch our wagons to a falling star, only to crash and burn with them. 

Moses found himself at this point at the base of Mount Horeb, when he was confronted with a God who was about to anoint him with significance.  Moses had grown up in the court of Pharaoh as a Prince of Egypt.  HOW SIGNIFICANT WAS THAT?  Royalty is bequeathed upon very few men.  Yet, even being a prince of Egypt could not compare with the significance with which God was about to anoint Moses.   When God instructed Moses to return to Pharaoh, and demand that the ruler of the mightiest nation on earth release the Hebrew children, Moses shook his head in disbelief and asked; “Who am I?” 

Every man has asked that question of himself when confronted with circumstances that demand us to step outside of who we believe we are.  I especially like how God never seems to answer our questions directly.  He told Moses, “I am with you, always.”  God’s answer, though subtle, was as valid then as it is today.  Moses was the man God walked with.  The bible tells us that God talked to Moses face to face.  As Christians, we have an even deeper relationship with God than Moses.  THAT IS SIGNIFICANT!   

When we find our significance in who we are in Christ Jesus rather than what we do, we’ll move into the place of honor God has prepared for us.  The heartbreaks, struggles, and achievements of this life will pale in the significance of being “the one who walks with God.” 

The search for worldly significance will leave us empty and hollow as death approaches.  Validation is seen in the eyes of our children as they imitate us.  Significance is realized when they surpass us.  A significant life is found in Christ Jesus.  

Bro. Charles Summers will be moderating and teaching the men next week, so everyone be prepared with your homework.  (Read the last two pages of Chapter Five and Change the list to answer the question: If I live my life base on who I am in Christ Jesus, what will I do?)  

Everyone have a good time, Glenda and I are leaving for San Antonio this week to see our son Anthony take the hand of the LOVELY Miss Elizabeth Hollingsworth and make her his bride.  Pray for us as we travel.