The Shape of Our Sorrow

Over the course of our study into Wes Yoder’s book, Bond of Brothers, I haven’t really stopped to sing the praises of Mr. Yoder and his book. The depth of spiritual insight and truth woven into the fabric of the book is remarkable.  This makes my second time through the book, and I’m still finding golden threads of truth woven into his simple, but provocative words.  As much as I loved chapter seven, it is chapter eight that brings us to the very heart of God, and intriguingly enough, our own heart.  The title, in and of itself should have been our first clue that the truth that awaited us was deeper than just saying we all have hurts.  “SORROW – THE HAND THAT SHAPES US”  is a mirror that reflects the soul of a loving God. 

In preparation for the study, I asked the men to read the chapter without giving them any clue as to where we were going with the information.  When the men arrived this morning, I had only one question; “What is sorrow?” 

The problem is, we don’t know. 

One of the most powerful forces in our lives, is also one of least understood.  Is sorrow grief, disappointment, pain, or agony?  Is there a difference between physical pain, and suffering and sorrow?  If Christ was described by the prophets and the apostles as a man of sorrows, what was the source of his sorrow?  Why was the messiah described as a man of sorrow, afflicted, and despised?   Why would God inhabit our sorrow?  Wasn’t it enough that he became sin for us?  Why did he have to suffer our sorrows, and endure our greatest frailties?  Why would the Creator of all things take upon himself the form of a slave, hunted, abused, betrayed, and eventually murdered for the very ones he came to redeem? 

As we knocked around the outside of these questions, we came to one conclusion.  While we may suffer pain, affliction, or even unending hardship, sorrow can only be born of relationship.  We may suffer injury by our own hand, but when it is inflicted by others, it brings us great sorrow.  Only people we care about or we make ourselves vulnerable to, can cause us to feel sorrow.  It is deeper than physical pain, and goes to our being given everything we need to participate in the divine nature.  (More on that next week.)  A matter of fact, we quickly discovered that the inevitable end of being intimate, and vulnerable is to suffer sorrow.  If relationships are the source of our sorrows, what happens in those relationships to bring us sorrow? 

Betrayal is the first and foremost cause of sorrow.  Everything else is only a variation of betrayal.  The reason for that, is because our trust has been violated.  Which brings us to the man of sorrows actually being the God of Sorrows.  The creator of heaven and earth understands betrayal more than any of us.  The being who breathed his life into our lungs, was betrayed by the very beings he desired to empower and love.  Did he have to come to earth and suffer as a man to understand sorrow? 

NO, he fully understood it.  From the beginning of time, He has lived with the very same agony we all go through.  He is the model for us to emulate, and strive after.  His love is the purest we can hope to  live.  It isn’t born in laws, codes, or forms, it thrives in allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.  Sorrow is the sister of joy, and is born of being completely given over to others.  We will never know the fullness of his joy until we are fully acquainted with his sorrow.  Those who preach any other gospel, are hucksters and charlatans at best. 

In preparation for next week, I asked the men to re-read chapter eight and to be ready to discuss one of their greatest sorrows that shaped their lives. 

Should be interesting to say the least.