FORGIVING YOURSELF

Yesterday, our Men's group didn't go quite as I'd hoped. Last Sunday, one of the men admitted that he could forgive others, but he found it hard to forgive himself. This admission is at the core of Wes Yoder's book “Bond of Brothers,” so you can imagine my excitement as I began to work out a reply to his statement. 

SILLY ME! 

 The victorious exultation of men being set free didn't happen. In retrospect, I don't know what I was thinking. Yesterday, was one of those days where the men latch onto one word, and then go para-sailing with it. The fault was in me.   I should have printed out the lesson sheet at home instead of waiting till I got to church. My printer at church gets glitchy sometimes and I have to fight with it. Yesterday was one of those times. 

 Needless to say, what I wanted to bring to the men was overrun by well said, but rambling dissertations upon forgiveness. MOSTLY about us forgiving others. Any other time, I would have relished the discussion. This time I was exasperated. None of what was said, even from me, was what needed to be said. Never mind that the person who'd broached the subject in the first place wasn't there. So, I went home and revised my lesson sheet so that it couldn't be messed up. I'll hand it out next week, but we'll wait for a more opportune time to discuss it. For those who read the blog, you'll get a leg up on everybody else.

CAN YOU TRULY FORGIVE YOURSELF?

The thought of someone forgiving themselves has made me laugh time and time again. Modern pop-psychology has built a religion around the idea of forgiving yourself. From Oprah to a host of others, the idea of you forgiving yourself for wrongs you've done to others is almost laughable. It seems to promote the idea of duality of personality. It would go something like this:

Dave #1. That was a really stupid thing I said to my wife last night.

Dave #2. Yes, it was Dave. You could have done a better job of telling her you don't really like macaroni and cheese over a bed of peanut butter. Throwing the bowl across the dining room was a little over the top wasn't it?

Dave #1. Yep, now I'll have to paint the wall.

Dave #2. Not to mention the fact that you really hurt her feelings.

Dave #1. Well, I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess you're right. I could've been a little more subtle. I did tell her I was sorry later.

Dave #2. That was a smooth move, doing the dishes, vacuuming the floors, and even dusting. You did a good job of acting contrite and genuinely sorry.

Dave #1. Well I did feel bad about it.

Dave #2. You need to move on now and get on with your life, no sense in beating yourself up about it. No sense in crying over spilled milk.

Dave #1. Now that you mention it, I do feel bad about what I did.

Dave #2. Forgive yourself and move on, son.

Dave #1. I don't know, now that you've brought it up, I feel really bad.

Dave #2. You just need to forgive yourself. Oprah, Dr. Phil, and all those other guys say you have to stop beating yourself up over it.

Dave #1. So, why'd you bring it up?

Dave #2. So you'd forgive. . . .me.

Am I the only one that believes our culture has become a sea of self serving ignorance that seizes any opportunity to put a balm on every boo-boo and escape responsibility for our actions. There are consequences for what we do. It's like Pontius Pilate washing his hands after sentencing Jesus to death. 'I'm giving you what you want because I fear man more than I respect my own conscience.'

I am not addressing this to the modern pop culture who've disavowed a loving, but just God. I can't speak to the billions who don't forgive, or don't know what forgiveness is. We could learn a lot from God himself, if we'd humble ourselves enough to know and understand Him.

I will say it once, and say it clearly. YOU CAN'T FORGIVE YOURSELF.

So, to the individual who says, I can forgive others, but can't forgive myself, I say as kindly as I can; STOP TRYING to forgive yourself.

The Kingdom model for forgiveness and the resolution of offenses works from a completely different direction. It is simple, but extremely difficult. Here it is in a nutshell.

1. If you have wronged someone (your need for forgiveness is implied), go to that person and ask them to forgive you. Extremely hard thing to do, because it means humbling yourself and admitting you did something . . .wr. .. .wro........wrong. Besides, to admit you did something wrong might obligate you to compensate the person. (Called restitution.)
2. Offer Restitution while the person is offering forgiveness. (That implies real regret and not just fear of consequences)
3. If person refuses to forgive, bring in another witness, and apologize once more. If the person refuses to forgive you or allow you restitution, you have done all you can do. They are now at fault.
4. Now, go to the Lord your God, offer up your sorrow for your actions, ask God for the Grace to overcome the fault in your character that led you to offend someone (or even God Himself,) accept the fact that your sins are forgiven through Christ Jesus, and make restitution as God tells you.

You see, the Kingdom model works from the baseline of everything we do that offends others, offends God. The first five of the Ten Commandments are direct offenses against God. The last five are offenses against another living being created in the image of God, which are an offense against Him. If we operate from the viewpoint that we were justified in our behavior or actions, we miss the point of our own salvation. God would be perfectly justified in speaking this entire Universe out of existence. With one short sentence, he could close the chapter on this sick pathetic experiment called mankind and would have never had to make the sacrifice he made. Yet, he has shown us time and time again the kind of mercy we don't deserve.

 The failure to ask forgiveness is the real problem. It stems from a heart that doesn't truly believe in God, but only fears the fact that there might be a hell. It goes to the issue of getting caught. We can behave any way we want as long as we don't get caught. We don't really believe in God, because if we did, we wouldn't behave the way we do. Therefor, our answer for our continued, habitual 'sin' is to 'forgive' ourselves. We don't have a contrite heart nor do we think differently about our position in relation to HIM. We are still master of our universe, and we can absolve ourselves of all guilt and shame. Our God-like statement is: “I have wronged others and myself, so I shall forgive myself.” When you have sinned against yourself, there is only one being who can offer you forgiveness, and He alone is God. Once you realize that, then your path to Him becomes the WAY. It is in Christ Jesus that you have forgiveness of sins. The issue is never forgiving yourself, but moving on in Christ Jesus. Once you begin to truly allow him to change you, you will accept the love of God and the GRACE of God will empower you to change. You'll never forget what you've done or the consequences of your actions, but you will think differently about them. Godly sorrow produces change, carnal sorrow produces shame and guilt.

Now, just a brief statement about forgiving others, because that is what took up so much of our time Sunday morning. The secular humanist ideology of self-forgiveness has infiltrated the Church, and robbed Christ of the power only He possesses. The power God have his Son, is the power to forgive us of our sins against HIM. The power he gave us through His Son, is the power to forgive others of their sins and have them forgiven in heaven. When we forgive others for their offenses against us, we absolve God of any responsibility to repay (settle accounts.) As long as we are holding out against someone, we are binding the hand of God. That in turn puts us in the terrible position of being a judge in a situation to which we are the injured party. We wouldn't allow that to happen in our secular judicial system, so why would we think it would work on a personal level? By forgiving, we recuse ourselves from the case and place the accounting in the hands of a just God. OR, could it be we don't trust God enough to produce a just accounting? Unforgiveness is idolatry. It is placing yourself above God and saying you don't believe he can make things right.

We don't need to forgive ourselves as much as we need to accept the forgiveness of God. Therein lies the true power to healing our hearts and minds. Which brings us to the final issue of condemnation and conviction. If we've asked God and man to forgive us, and we still find ourselves being beat up by the accuser, we are living under condemnation. That is a spiritual battle that requires help. It requires putting up a defense of the word. You can paraphrase scripture, speak it verbatim, but it takes knowing the word of God and speaking it out to the accuser. My favorite thing to do when the enemy brings up something in my past, is to confront him with the present. “I am a new creation in Christ. Old things are in the trash, and LOOK AT ME (behold) all things are new. I am led by the Spirit of God and my desires are for the things of God.” The oppression lifts, and I move on in joy knowing that I am a new creation in Christ Jesus.

Conviction on the other hand is a welcome gift of the Holy Spirit. As a new creation, he is going to work from the inside out, to remove those things in my life that are displeasing to him. I kind of like the analogy of someone richer than me, moving into my house. They don't want to change the outside, as much as they do the inside. So, He begins to throw out those things that are offensive to him. We begin to have discussions about what needs to go, but he knows those things are mine. He shows me what needs to go, and if I embrace his thinking, I let go. Being a kind and loving being, he doesn't empty my house all at once. I still need a place to sit, eat, and sleep. He gently and kindly changes my thinking about the things that decorate my home. Some things are acceptable, while others aren't. Some things must go immediately while others are a slow hard sell. Conviction comes, when He tells me to get rid of something, and I stubbornly keep going out to the trash can to retrieve it. He is patient, but He isn't without limits. I guarantee you, there is a point where he will stop taking that hateful thing out to the trash. I never want to reach that point with HIM.

So, there you have it. Our discussion didn't go there Sunday, and for that I'm sorry. There are times I make a lousy moderator. This was one of those times. Perhaps something was said that helped others.

THE POWER OF SHAME

This Sunday's Men's Group, had a few exciting moments when it became obvious to me, there is still lots of work to be done in the area of father/son relationships. Relationship is what our Men's group is all about. This group of men and young men have a sincere desire to know their Savior and Lord Jesus Christ in a real way. They've laid aside the masks of religion and endless debates about long settled doctrines. It is obvious by their continued attendance, that they have a desire to grow together; fathers and sons. It reminds me of what a supervisor in the Air Force once told me when we were discussing a particularly talented worker with an attitude problem. He said; “I'd rather have one worker with a great attitude, than ten talented workers with crappy attitudes.” (I cleaned up the language.) In our men's group, I would rather have ten eager, and open men, than a hundred fakes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being in the company of men who know the Word of God and have studied it well. In deference to those who espouse the idea that God isn't impressed with our abilities, I strongly disagree. He created us with talent, skill, and brains. What God admires most though, is the willing heart. That is what our men have in spades.

With that said, you can imagine my amazement when we began to discuss our homework assignment from last week. I'd asked the men to look into the lives of Abraham, Eli, and King David, with the expressed purpose of discovering what sinful tendency the patriarchs had passed on to their sons. When it was all over and done with, I was delighted to learn that one of our grandfathers had sat down with his 13 year old grandson, and discovered the sad truth of father Abraham. They'd spent 4 hours studying the bible together! The grandson was stoked! What was even more amazing was the look on the grandson's face as the two of them shared what they'd learned together. This is the soil of revival! Sure the truth they'd learned together was basic to some people. I guarantee you, the grandson will never ever forget the night his grandfather opened the bible and studied with him. Yep, I'm sentimental.

We learned that Abraham was for the sake of a better word, a liar. Like all liars, he did it out of fear. Yes, the great man of faith also was a man of fear. He could trust God to make him a mighty nation, and he could even trust God to raise his son from the dead, but when it came to his wife, he was as chicken as they get. BY HIS OWN ADMISSION! This practice of deception, was carried up into the fourth generation and ended with Joseph.

We also learned that Eli was a glutton, and it was carried forward in his sons. Unlike Abraham, the sin of gluttony was acted out upon the table of the Lord. The same thing as happened in the Corinthian church. The Lord doesn't like his table to be abused. It is the same issue though. It is a fear that God won't or can't provide. That fear caused Eli and his sons to abuse the sin offerings brought to the Tabernacle at Shiloh. This wasn't a sin against the people as much as it was a sin against God. The punishment would be the end of Eli's family line.

King David was simpler to dig out, but it also carried with it a deeper truth that we will talk more about in next week's meeting. David's ongoing battle with lust, led him to collect a long line of women along the way. Many of them were wives and concubines, but then, even with more women than a man can truly enjoy, he lusted after the wife of another man. This envious and covetous spirit, led him to murder the woman's husband, and to try and cover it up. What is even worse, is that the shame of his sin obviously prevented him from decisively handling a grosser sexual wickedness within one of his sons. His shame became the power that stayed the hand of discipline.

The sins of the father are visited upon the children, not as punishment, nor as a curse, but as an inability of the father to discipline the sons due to their own shame. The sons see the wicked behavior and carry it forward. The inability to discipline (not punish) is found in the shame of weakness. It doesn't have to be deceit, gluttony, or lust that destroys a man's confidence in his virtue, it can be anything that comes between a man and his relationship with God. The power of shame closes doors of communication and relationship between the man and God, as well as the man and his children. It is in that silence, that actions speak louder than words. It is here that boys slip and fall before they become men, and the man who should rescue them, is hog tied by his guilt and shame. We pray for men to accept God's forgiveness and break the code of silence.

As the study was coming to an end, we finally reached the destination I'd prayed for; the issue of how do we forgive ourselves. One of the men, humbly admitted, that he could not forgive himself for his past wickedness. Herein lies the battle with shame. I'm sure this is the point where Christ must be shaking his head in disbelief. Forgiveness is what he came to bring to us. The ability to stand clean and anew before the Lord God of heaven, is what he endured the cross for. Yet, our brother is not alone. I guarantee you, each and every Christian man, has battled with the accuser of the brethren over past sins. It is how he keeps us cowed down. Forgiveness and unforgiveness are the major issues of our relationships with God and man.

NEXT WEEK; We will devote an entire session to the subject of how to finally forgive yourself, and how to broach our sinful behavior with our children.

Dialogue and Discipline

 Yesterday's lesson was a difficult lesson to summarize, because we were talking about our favorite passages from the book “Bond of Brothers” by Wes Yoder. I'd asked the men to read all the way to page 40, but I hadn't asked them to be prepared to share their favorite passage. I always assume that everyone highlights passages from books like I do. When I'm done with a book, it's almost worthless to anyone else, unless they are willing to weed through my bookmarks and highlights. The following is the lesson sheet the Holy Spirit wouldn't let me hand out. I knew there was a reason why after the conversation began.

THE DIALOGUE

I've been trying to stress the importance of a dialogue between fathers and sons that goes deeper than sports, weather, work, and recreational religion. That dialogue is the by-product of a relationship not possession. Far too often we fathers tend to view our children as 'ours.' It's as if they belong to us simply by virtue of our DNA. Actually the heavenly Father has entrusted us with them to raise them, but they are actually His children. The failure to develop a deep relationship with our children, makes our ability to discipline less effective. Relationship is built on dialogue, intimacy, and transparency. In any relationship, trust is implied. Dialogue begins with trusting the other person with what we're telling them. It also implies trusting the other person will not belittle or demean your point of view. Intimacy is impossible without trust, and transparency as well. It is a sad testament to the state of modern families, that fathers and sons can't trust each other enough to dialogue with one another. The father/ son relationship is the first most important man to man relationship any of us will ever have. You can't help but wonder how many more generations of men will go on in the deadly throes of silence and shame. There has to be a dialogue about the important issues of marriage, child rearing, and life's tougher spiritual situations. For us here in Real Ministries, this becomes even more critical as our initial core group of young men are marrying, and having children of their own. Young men, if you turn a deaf ear to your fathers in believing you have all the answers, or that things were different when he was your age, you've just closed off one of the deepest wells of life you'll ever tap. I don't care how much you think the world has changed, how technology has altered the way we communicate, how liberal you think you need to be, the truth is; nothing has changed. Men still battle with lust, power, money, fear, and their own weaknesses. The battleground may be different, but the wars are still the same. There is an infinite storehouse of wisdom within the fathers of this fellowship, and they shouldd be the first person you go to.

First, you may have to bridge the wall of anger, and shame. During the early adolescent years, when all you want to do is play and have fun, the demands of your father push you away. As you grow older, you become angry, you lash out, act out, or move out. Anger becomes its own fuel and a wall of fire erupts between you and the man who is best suited to lead you through the hurdles of your youth. When a father knows his son is angry at him, there doesn't appear to be any way to continue the dialogue. What begins as a failure to breach the cause of the anger, ends up adding another tier to the wall of fire. Before you know it, neither of you are able to talk about anything without erupting into anger. The fire is fueled by testosterone and pride. Stubbornness is just another word for lack of understanding. Lack of understanding is another way of saying you're too proud to listen.

Later, when the passionate fires have subsided, you're left with the sad knowledge of things said, and done which make the both of you feel ashamed. Shame makes you hide, because you may have been right, but you didn't act right. It is a tempestuous relationship that requires will power to overcome the wall of fire, and love to quench the flames. I guarantee you, one of you will get burned while trying to breach the wall, but the pain will be worth it. Our heavenly Father is the perfect example. To breach the wall for us, our Father suffered unimaginable pain. Like any father, our heavenly Father always loves us because he made us, he just doesn't like us very much when we are in the throes of disobedience. Therein lies the dilemma. In western culture, we believe that for someone to love us, they have to approve of everything we do and say. If they don't, we are convinced they don't love us. On the other hand, fathers often react to disobedience and rebellion as personal issues. They dole out punishment in the heat of anger, or wounded pride, carrying the discipline out too far, and for too long, turning it into punishment. Before you know it, you are at an impasse, fathers unable to talk, and sons unwilling to listen. That impasse, may go on for years instead of the seconds it should take. Another generation of silent men is born, and nurtured by unspoken shame and guilt. Being right becomes more important than doing right. It doesn't have to be this way. There is a way to start the dialogue. There is a way to ask the really important questions. The dialogue begins with intimacy. One of you will have to breach the wall of silence and submit.

END OF LESSON SHEET

In our discussion, we rambled around a central core truth, but it was a little disconcerting to say the least. It wasn't one of my best attempts at moderating a discussion. What was of value was the discussion of what discipline should look like. What we all agreed upon, was that discipline should never be done when you are angry. When we are angry, we are in fear. Fear turns discipline into punishment. It's difficult to discuss discipline in this 'enlightened' age without the issue of spanking arising. I was spanked by both of my parents, I've spanked my children, and I believe spanking is often necessary to break a strong rebellious will. We all agreed however, that spanking should never be done in anger. This train of thought led us to the discussion of how do kids get to the point in their lives where they believe their parents will 'kill' them if they find out about something the child has done. You see this repeatedly in young girls who become pregnant before marriage. It is especially predominant in Christian homes. While I've never heard of a Christian parent 'killing' their daughter because she became pregnant, it does beg the question; what is the child really afraid of? The same thing Adam and Eve were ashamed of. They know they've let their parents down, they've let themselves down. Their reproduction system told off on them, and now there is no way to hide the thing they've done. Planned Parenthood has made a business off of this fear. The morning after pill, the free and open access to abortions by minors without parental consent, even the free and open access to contraceptives by minors, speaks to the shame of sexual misconduct. The real issue is redemption. Every child wants to know that there is redemption at the back side of any transgression. This issue is primal and rooted in the family relationship. Except in some far eastern cultures where 'honor' is revered above love, redemption will always be there. That alone makes it important for us to know how to discipline. We admonished our young men and fathers, discipline with whatever tools you feel comfortable using, but when you are finished, kiss your child, and hug them. Let them know they are forgiven and that they can forgive themselves.

NEXT WEEK: Finish reading through chapter 2, and have the homework I assigned two weeks ago ready. I wanted you to look at the life of Abraham, Eli, and David to see what sin in their lives crippled them so that they couldn't discipline their children in that area.   

REVEALING THE SPIRIT OF RELIGION

At the request of one of the men in our group, I'm going to post the lesson I taught from yesterday. I'm editing it just a little to remove some stuff that might lead outsiders to take it the wrong way. I've written about this in my blog once before, but something happened this last week to show me how pervasive the spirit of 'religion' can be. Before I launch out and anger a lot of well meaning people, let me give you my definition of the 'spirit of religion.' The spirit of religion is the spirit or 'notion' that the things you do or don't do are qualifiers of your relationship with Christ and ultimately with God outside of the commandments given to us by our Lord. (See John, chapters fifteen through seventeen) This definition applies only to 'Christians' and no other religion. In simple layman's terms, the religious spirit likes formulas for salvation. They usually look like a simple math problem. If you do A, B will happen, therefore, B = A.

This might sound innocent and trite until you bump into someone who has a tender conscience, or is a 'pleaser' personality type.

The problem for me as a teacher is, everything I bring forward in these studies, can be viewed as an end to a means. All Christian teachers have 'knowing God' as their ultimate purpose for teaching others. All teaching has the basic premise that the teacher possesses knowledge that others need. Therefore, the means will bring about a desired end. I don't care if you view the 'end' as relationship, presence, honor, glory, eternal life, purpose, or even the salvation of others, the 'means' must never become a formula for obtaining anything in Christ Jesus. I don't care how noble or humble you view your 'exercise' of faith, if you are doing it to obtain something already freely given, you've just made it into a religion. Sadly, Christianity has become a works oriented religion rather than a way of life. The Kingdom of God has become something we're going to, instead of something we're living in.

I was confronted once more this week, with the Spirit of religion. The thing that angers me about this Spirit, is that it likes to use things I say, or things Pastor says, or things our Youth Pastor says, and turn those words into unsatisfying religious performance. In order to de-fang, de-claw, and render that spirit useless, let me state clearly, once and for all to hear: Reading 2 chapters daily, reading proverbs, reading Psalms 91, praying fifteen minutes a day, prostrating yourself on the floor, kneeling, raising your hands, singing praises, listening to Christian music all day, or watching Christian TV all day will not cause you to experience the presence of God. If you are doing these things in an effort to satisfy some 'Presence' formula, you have just created another fruitless struggle in your life with no possible way to enjoy Christ. There are good reasons our Pastor has asked us to do these things. Just as there are good reasons he asks you to avoid certain movies, TV shows, internet sites, and a host of other things. Doing or not doing these things will not bring God's presence nor will they increase your value or worth in HIS sight. Coming here every Sunday morning and spending an hour with other men will not increase your value or worth in God's sight. It will not do one thing to make his presence more real than it would be if you laid in bed thinking about him. If I gave you a spiritually valid reason for coming here every Sunday morning, I guarantee you an oppressing demon would lay hold of that reason and beat you up with it. Coming to the Men's study group will not do anything to increase God's presence in your life. The religious spirit would like you to feel that way. However, the first time you woke up and didn't want to come here, the demon would tell you that you were a low-life, scum dog of the earth. He would convince you that if you really loved Jesus, you would get dressed and come here because it's the right thing to do. HELLO RELIGIOUS SPIRIT. The religious spirit wants you to view yourself in comparison with your brothers in the Lord. It wants you to become bitter, depressed, and eventually oppressed. It keeps records of failures, and loves to point out weaknesses. I've taught 'how' to have a relationship with the Lord for so long now, I don't think about how my words and actions can be used by the spirit of religion to take a tender soul down. So let me strip away the religious veneer from some of the things I 'do.'

MY REASONS FOR DOING THE THINGS WE DO IN OUR FELLOWSHIP:

• I read our unified reading so that I can talk with you at any time during the day about what we've read, allowing me to quickly gain new insights and ideas.
• I pray daily because there are needs throughout the earth that my Lord has given me the power to adjust by the words of my mouth.
• I come to Church services so you will be comforted that I am in like faith with you, and to gain supernatural strength and reassurance from your presence.
• I come to Men's, because I like being with all of you at one time, and I feel I have things to say that will benefit you in your walk with the Lord.
• I come to Thursday night prayer meeting because I know that the Word of God says that when two or three agree on one thing, it will be done. There is usually nine or more people on Thursday nights, so there is a lot of stuff being done.
• I spend at least 20 hours a week in study and lesson preparation because you guys are worth any effort I make. It is my way of serving YOU.
• I help clean the church building because it is the place I CHOOSE to join with you, and I MESS it up. I should help clean it. If not, then I should pay someone to help clean it.
• I help maintain the church building, because time and use wear things down, I have the ability improve and restore this structure by the strength of my own hands. God supplies the means, I am the hands.
• I come to your weddings, birthdays, counsel you, and work for you, because I like being around you.

NONE OF THESE THINGS BRING GOD'S PRESENCE, THEY ARE EVIDENCE OF IT!

The religious spirit wants you to believe that the things we do will increase or decrease the presence of God in our life. He always expresses the formula backwards, because that is the way he is. How do I know this? I used to fall into his trap all the time. One of his best tricks was to heap condemnation on me. I used to believe if I didn't attend church every Sunday, I was going to hell. If I didn't tithe, I was going to hell. If I didn't read my bible, I was going to hell. If I thought an impure thought, I was going to hell. Forget being a Christian, I was sure I was going to hell. This was not a happy life for me.

I'd lost sight of one important truth: I am a new creation in Christ Jesus because I've been born of the Holy Spirit, cleansed by the blood of the lamb, and given eternal life, through the resurrection of Christ Jesus. At that moment, the PRESENCE of God invaded my life. There are times his presence is a raging fire and I can barely breathe. There are other times he is a gently flowing stream softly cascading through my thoughts. There are times he feels thousands of miles away and I strive with everything I've got to get to him. There are times he is a gentle lover caressing me, and comforting me. There are times when his presence is like a huge weight, crushing out the imperfections of my life. There are times when I lay in wonder before him admiring the stars, this earth, and the universe he created, just so I could lay on green grass and admire his work. There are times, I don't feel his presence at all. Those are usually the times I'm all about me, what I want , what I can get, and what I can do.

WHAT I KNOW!

He wants me so much, he came to earth and became like me.

He lived for 33 years in one of these earth suits so I would know he wanted to be in my presence.

He showed me how to live like him, by having relationship with the Holy Spirit, by fellow-shipping with other men, by praying and fasting, and by knowing the Word. He took my punishment for everything I've done,and everything I'm going to do. He gave me the gift of his presence through the presence of his Spirit.

It all boils down to you and what you really want. The starting point is that you have his presence. That never changes. When you don't have his presence, you won't care. You won't feel the prick of your conscience. You won't wonder if you're where you should be. Once HIS presence leaves you, you will once more become a dead man walking. BUT, if you are petrified by your sin, disturbed by your ambivalence, irritated because you can't do what others do, or feel what others feel, you still have his presence. You are not beyond help or salvation. If you can no longer feel his presence, but you long for it, do a little soul searching. Check out your life, be honest with yourself, and make a decision about how much presence you want. If you determine the problem isn't in you, then move in closer to God, and do whatever is necessary to feel HIM once more in your life. That begins by simply saying: I know you are near, even when I can't feel you, yet will I seek you, though you are far away.

His Presence always returns to those who love him. It is a promise of the word.

NEXT WEEK:  Please have read through page 40 of "Bond of Brothers"