Two of our young men returned to college last week, one of them as a newly married man, and the other with a renewed vision for the future. (I could feel the subtle change in the men's study group as we compensated for the absence of both of you.) I'm sure I speak for all of the REAL men, when I pray for you to have another successful year in college. We also look forward to those weekends when you are able to return to us and your families. You are the reason for writing this Blog.
We began studying chapter seven of “Every Man's Marriage.” I have to admit, it was a relief not to have to go into chapter six. By now, you know why.
This chapter is a profound shift in thinking. It is a major rebuttal of the modern American mindset that defines the male role in the family as the king of his castle, lord of his family, and ruler of his wife. That mindset is anti-Christ, and should have never been acceptable in any faith fellowship. Fred hits upon an amazing concept that rivals the idea of “spiritual oneness.” Chapter seven leads into the second half of the book which teaches us “leading as a bondservant.”
At first, it can sound like an oxymoron. How do you lead if you are a servant? The servant leader goes against the American mindset of being free. Actually, it is the perversion of the definition of freedom that makes it hard to understand. In order to confront the perversion head on, we first defined what a “bondservant” is.
We opened with Exodus 21 and read through verse six. It surprised me, how God went from giving the children of Israel the ten commandments and then his first Mitzovt is about the bondservant. You would think he would have made the laws concerning killing another man his first order of business. There has to be a significance to it. From the passage of scripture, we determined that there was parallel to what had just happened to the children of Israel. Four hundred years before, they'd put themselves in bondage to Pharaoh because of a severe drought. God bought them back from Pharaoh, and now they stood before him as a free people. It was no longer the whip and lash that drove them. While they may have forgotten the Covenant God had made with Abraham, God had not. He brought them out to the desert, to set them free. What is the ultimate choice of freedom?
To freely serve.
The picture man paints of servant hood, is of someone selling themselves to another man for the promise of food, shelter, and safety. All of which God says he'll provide if we'll trust him. It is the needs of the flesh that will drive a man to sell himself into the service of another. Hunger and self preservation will make men do drastic things. That is why we can't confuse the slavery of African Americans with the slavery that God addresses. They were kidnapped, chained, and forcibly removed from their homes. The kind of slavery God is addressing is when we willingly sell ourselves into slavery to survive or pay a debt. The fact is, everyone is a slave to someone. It doesn't matter who you are, you are going to serve somebody. I know of men who work 60 to 80 hours a week for a salary. What is the salary? Food, shelter, and safety. We are all sold into slavery. We are slaves to our belly and our selfish desires. That was all the children of Israel had ever known. Up to this point they'd never known any other reason for being a slave until God gave them his purest example. God forbade the Hebrews from owning one another for more than six years. Although I'm not a Hebrew scholar, and I haven't found any proof to back me up, I'm sure it has to do with six being the number of man. It probably also has a lot to do with the fact that God took six days to create the earth. At the end of six years, the slave is given an amazing shot at freedom. HE OWES NOTHING. His debt is paid. Then God does an amazing thing. There is a profound definition of freedom. It is the same picture we see when a man stands as a free man before friends and family at the front of an altar. He places a ring upon the hand of the lovely woman standing before him and says; “I love my Master, I will not go out free.”
WHAT?
That's not what is said.
YES IT IS!
The man comes in to the wedding ceremony a free man. He has all the rights of a free man. He can go wither so ever he will without a thought about it. He can live anyplace that someone will have him. He can do anything he wants. Yet, what is his choice? I will serve you, my bride, my master, because I love you. It is a profound shift in thinking. We are servants of love. Sadly, in today's culture, there is a perversion of marriage into an exchange of services. If the marriage is an exchange of services, it is a prostitution of the worst kind. If somehow in the scheme of things, the man sees himself as ruler of the home, he has returned to being a slave in God's eyes. I know it is a perversion, because I once thought that way. I'd allowed myself to embrace the idea that marriage was an exchange of services, with me being the king of the family. As king, my contribution was defined by what I brought home to the table, fixed, killed (bugs,) opened, or built. They were all things I would naturally do for myself. Nothing had changed. Not once had I looked at my bride as being my master. Not once had I allowed her the freedom to choose me as her master. I demanded it. Not cruelly with physical or verbal abuse, but insidiously with belief and religious ideology. Didn't the bible say we were one flesh? Didn't the bible say her body was mine? I'd twisted and turned the idea of love into a self-serving institution.
Yep, I messed it up.
We looked at God's choices of Servant Leaders, Moses, David, and Jesus. They were true examples of how you can be a leader, and still be a servant at the same time. Marriage is no different than a nation in God's eyes. The Hebrew nation began as a marriage. It is the perversion of the concept of freedom that twists the marriage bed into servitude by both parties. If the woman is looking for the man to be her provision, defender, and source of happiness, she has sold herself into slavery to her flesh. She has entered back into the curse. A home, food, and clothing are not proof of love. The man will work to give himself those things anyway. Sure, as a free man, he may settle for a lot less than he would being married. More people require more space. In being yoked together with the man, she already changes him UP. What is sad to watch, is when the man and the woman delineate the marriage into services provided. One of the saddest statements I've heard is when a woman tells another, that she had to service her man. At that point, I know the marriage has entered into legalized prostitution. She no longer views the man as someone she WANTS to give herself to.
Throughout the morning, there were many wonderful thoughts and observations. I was so enraptured by the direction of the discussion, I failed to take notes. I hate it when that happens. . . . NOT! Actually I'll try and list the highlights.
- How do we rectify being a slave to Jesus, with being fellow heirs, sons of God, a royal nation, and other descriptions that elevate us beyond being slaves? We didn't get there with the answer, but I can tell you, there is one. NEXT WEEK, I promise it will be good.
- We tore up the issue of our attitude. Pastor explained how he went from doing things to show his servant leadership, to doing things because he is a servant leader.
- We have to embrace the knowledge of who and what we are in Christ Jesus. We are bondservants to one another, with our wives being an extension of that same spirit of loving servitude we give to one another. Her's being the greater portion.
- It is all an attitude of the heart. By leading as a bondservant, we don't do it for what we'll get out of it. We refuse to look at what is in it for us. If we serve our wives for the promise of them being more servile to us, we've already missed the point. If our goal is to have more sex, more gifts, more thoughtfulness, then we've simply slipped back into self love. It is Narcissistic at best.
- The applications of the servant leader go beyond the marriage. It is how we should be living amongst one another. Ephesians 5:21 is the simple truth of how we should be. “Submit to one out of reverence for Christ.” NLT
Finally, I'd like to let you know that the book “slave” by John MacArthur is available on amazon.com for $12.95. I know you guys have a lot to do in college. Reading another book is probably the last thing you want to do. However, I highly recommend it. Glenda heard the author do an interview on the radio and bought the book. When she was finished, she gave it to me to read. WOW! It is a fantastic book. It's where we've been for the last five or six years. It's not a heavy read. The pastor hasn't made it a must read, but I'm highly suggesting it.
All the men missed you guys. It feels as if part of us is numb. Be blessed this week and look for the mid-week tune up.
En` Christ
Brother Dave.
