THE NOBLE FATHER

Of all the things I’ve done in nearly sixty five years on this earth, being a father has brought me the greatest joy.  You’ll notice that I didn’t say it is the greatest thing I’ve done, that’s because I was ill prepared to be a father. I was too injured, self absorbed, and too broken to even be a good father let alone a good Christian father.  Because you guys love me as a brother in the Lord, and you’ve only known me at this stage of my life, you would try to argue with me, and try to assure me that I did just fine. I’d appreciate it, and I would agree that I did just fine, but I could have risen to the excellence of the men I see around me. I don’t believe in regrets, because you can’t go back and do anything over.  Actually regrets are just a way to say you’ve learned a lot since you were that stupid.  It’s a way of saying you are sorry without really being sorry. I wasn’t the best father.  Believe me, I’m not bitter in my self assessment. I take responsibility for my failures, and at the same time, I am grateful for those nudges toward nobility by Holy Spirit over the years. I look at our current crop of children in our fellowship, and I’m so hopeful.  

So, I’ll say it again, there is nothing in this world like being a father!  It is not my intention in any way to diminish, or negate motherhood, but as a Men’s pastor talking to a bunch of men, you guys are my focus. Fatherhood is a noble endeavor, with heroic consequences. While someone may be considered a hero for saving people from burning buildings, or giving their life for a fellow soldier on the battlefield, fatherhood requires heroics on a daily basis.  Even the mightiest superheroes of comic books, and the movies have nothing on fathers.  Fathers put their lives on the line daily for their children, without the benefit of superpowers.  Fathers must exercise  quick judgment, infinite patience, wisdom, strength, and endurance without any superpowers. This is why I believe the role of a father is one of the most noble things a man can do, and being a Christian father takes fatherhood to a completely different level.

You might ask why I use the word noble to describe fatherhood, and that would be a fair question. Noah Webster’s 1828 describes the adjective of “noble” as Great; elevated; dignified; being above every thing that can dishonor reputation; as a noble mind; a noble courage; noble deeds of valor. Sadly, the role of the father in American society is changing.  Deliberate, mindful fatherhood, with an eye toward fulfilling the charge of raising children to become contributing members of society is not as revered as it once was.  The seriousness with which you embrace fatherhood will determine whether you view it as a noble endeavor, or as a chore.  Very few men will embrace the idea of fatherhood being a great endeavor, because most of the time it is simply the outcome of being a husband enjoying his wife.  BUT, there is a clear difference between being the father of a child and being a father to a child. Being ‘the father’ of a child is the result of engaging in a reproductive act with a woman.  With the conditions being right, and both parties fully capable of procreation, another human being will be the result. Ta da!  Voila!  You have just created another...person, and become the father in one fell swoop.  Without societal pressure to repress your ‘sexual’ urges, you could theoretically be ‘the father’ of unlimited amounts of human beings.  Being ‘a father’ is a different matter from just being the father.  A father who views his newfound status in life with humility will realize the weight of the task ahead, and embrace it with the knowledge that he is answerable to a higher authority.  ‘A father’ accepts responsibility for his reproductive act, and chooses to be personally involved in the development (raising) of his creation.  A father refuses to abandon the woman who bore his child.  Simply put, the father accepts the consequences of his sexual urges, usually in the context of ‘marriage,’ and this in turn elevates him to a status above the fray.  However, before someone thinks I’m advocating an all or nothing view, let it be known that I believe being ‘the father’ is better than no father at all.  

Being ‘a father’ is a noble act because it requires self control, selflessness, and virtue beyond just simply living for yourself. That is why I don’t celebrate or extol the idea that fathers in the past were somehow better than fathers of today. After World War 2, fatherhood had its golden era here in the United States. Television glorified the role of father, because we knew the sacrifices they’d made during the war. Inversely, there was a time before WWII when children were viewed as nothing more than slaves, or tools to get things done. Thankfully we enjoy a more enlightened view of fatherhood today.  Not only does ‘a father’ commit his life to the ‘mother’ of his child, but he commits himself to the life he’s helped to create. Husband, and wife join together with God as creative forces.  This dignifies the office of father, lifting it up above anything that can bring dishonor or shame.  Sometimes being a father entails delaying or abandoning personal goals established long before you became a father.  Because we’re Christian men, with christian morals, I will state the obvious for our fellowship; sometimes, being ‘a father’ means abandoning the search for the ‘perfect’ life partner because you stepped outside of the christian principal of sexual conduct.  Back ‘in the day’ it used to be called ‘doing the right thing.’  That is the difference between being ‘the father’, and ‘a father’.  

There is nothing new about this generation’s fixations with sexual liberty, and despite what we may think, promiscuity is no more prevalent today than it was in generation two.  We were created to reproduce, and we do it well.  God intended the reproduction to be between two loving people, but it isn’t always so.  The only difference between ages past and today, is that we now have the means to prevent (to a certain degree) the reproductive function, allowing for more casual sexual encounters.  In other words, outside of the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, men can enjoy many partners without the fear of becoming ‘the father’ of another human being.  Sex without consequence is a lie.  When an accidental child occurs, society now bears the brunt of the casual act of selfishness.  We either condone the aborting of the child, or we put the child up for adoption.  Society’s answers are never as perfect as God’s.  Being ‘A father’ is God’s idea, He wanted children, therefore He made us. (Deuteronomy 32:6)   This knowledge should be at the core of every child’s raising.  It takes away the idea that anyone is an accident.  It also elevates the power of adoption.  

My belief in the nobility, and value  of Christian fatherhood is supported by insurmountable evidence that active, and engaged fathers are necessary to the emotional, physical, and intellectual development of children. More so, I believe spiritually minded fathers are an added blessing beyond just being a  good father.  When spiritually minded men actively guide and direct their children toward adulthood, we will help create respectful, loving, and selfless citizens for the future.  Fathers, especially Christian fathers are a major force for good in any society.  I happen to believe that Christian fathers can model a far better solution to social issues, than the institutional system being touted by progressives.  While I understand the mantra of the left, that “it takes a village”, I can tell you clearly that a village begins with a mother and a father first.  

As this study moves forward we’ll try to define what Christian fatherhood should look like.  We’ll invest ourselves in practical applications.   I truly believe that God has brought us to this point to create a new generation of believers, light years beyond our own understanding.  Our tiny little city needs God centered young people to move the Kingdom of God forward to a new generation.  I believe we’ve been given the privilege of teaching our children how to be  the heart of God, beating with true love, and pulsing with compassion.  Just as our children have seen the nobility of God in us, they will take Christian fatherhood to the next level of noble pursuit.  If not, our great nation will crumble, and we will join the ranks of other failed nation states.  That is how powerful fatherhood is.  

CHRISTIAN FATHERHOOD

DISCLAIMER:

For anyone who might stumble upon this blog without being a part of our faith fellowship, we make no apologies for our biblical view of manhood.  I am writing these lessons as blogs for our men’s bible study group in an effort to save paper.  If you happen upon this blog, you don’t have to read this. Without a history as a member of our fellowship, this study will not mean anything.  As a matter of kindness to those who do not hold the time tested values of the scriptures as sacred, we stand firm upon the morals, and values we’ve received through study, and prayer.  We won’t take you to court for not believing as we do, and we won’t berate your life choices when they are opposed to the Word of God.  Tolerance is a two way street, not a one way avenue.  If you are easily offended by Christian values, or discussions of traditional male family roles, you will be offended.  DONT READ ANY FURTHER.  The only  reason for using this blog site is to save making copies of our lessons on paper, which I’ve done for over 12 years and will do again if need be.  Should the machine at Google find this offensive and prevent me from posting, it will be of no concern to me.  None of us are haters, nor do we inject ourselves into the lives or activities of people we disagree with.  Tolerance has always been the foundation of our nation, and is the reason we’ve been able to have a republic for so long.  I ask simply that respect and honor be given to our constitutionally guaranteed rights of religious expression, even as I have attempted to honor and tolerate those with differing views than us.  So, with the public disclaimer out of the way, we’ll begin our study.

A FATHER’S CHARGE

This is a personal note from me to all my beloved brothers in the Lord at Real Ministries.  We’ve been together now as a fellowship for nearly twenty years.  For some of us, we’ve known ‘of’ each other for over 25 years.  In that time, you’ve allowed me to teach, share, and be a part of your lives in a way I’ve never done before in over fifty years of Christian living.  I’ve had the privilege to be taught of you, and your sons.  We’ve loved, joked, ate, drank coffee, gone on mission trips, and formed lasting relationships that will transcend time.  You’ve seen my failures, my successes, and still been supportive in ways I never thought would happen.  For that, I thank you.  This study into Christian fatherhood was sparked by a comment from Radio Host, Dennis Praeger.  He was discussing the mass killings in Las Vegas, more specifically the shooters mental condition.  He made a statement that struck me like a bolt of lightning.  I can’t repeat it verbatim, but the point was that a boy without a father, or heavenly father is free to do anything they want to do.  A young ‘boy’ child needs the physical boundaries of a father to let them know that there is someone stronger, and more imposing.  This thought was emphasized to me later that day when I witnessed a young mother trying to corral two pre-adolescent boys at a local fast food place.  The mother was clearly worn out, and the boys were winning by being persistently annoying, and to some degree aggressive.  I watched a large, elderly man rise up from a nearby booth and come over to the table.  He wasn’t angry, and his face beamed with a knowing smile.  He exchanged pleasantries with the frazzled mother upon which the two boys slipped gleefully from the booth and grabbed his extended hands.  He led the boys to the ordering counter, and along the way I heard numerous admonitions for them to behave, be quiet, and be still.  As one boy attempted to break free to do his own thing, the man quietly said; “If you let go of my hand, I’ll take you back to your mother, and you won’t get anything. Now, what do you want?”  The boy looked into the eyes of the elderly stranger, and with a huge smile said, “Ice cream cone.”   “Then ice cream cone it is.”  said the man as he pulled money from his wallet.  A couple of minutes later he returned the children back to their mother, and returned to his booth.  There is nothing more physically challenging to two little boys, than a very large man.  There is an energy level that is multiplied exponentially with each addition of boyish energy.  The physical presence of a full grown ‘boy’ (a man) is the boundary needed to reduce their tendency to set the world on fire.  Fatherhood is not so much about passing on what you know as it is about setting boundaries to protect children from what they don’t know.  Boundaries are necessary!  A society must have boundaries to exist.  Just the physical presence of a father is enough to create a boundary to the boundless energy of a child.  When you couple that presence with wisdom, knowledge, and strength of will, you create a healthy place for a child to grow up in.

As some of you know, sometimes I find truths in odd places.  I was reading in 1st Timothy for a different study when this scripture hit me.  Yes, I’m changing the wording, but that is because I kept hearing the scripture as a challenge to fathers.  So, this is how we’re going to start our study of how to be a Christian father.  It is from 1st Timothy chapter 4 starting at verse 11.  Yes, I'm taking great license with it. 

Fathers, teach these things and insist that your children learn them.  Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young.  Be an example to your children in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.  Focus on reading the Scriptures to your children, encourage them, and teach them.  Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecies spoken over you, when the elders of the church laid their hands on you.  Give your complete attention to being a father.  Throw yourself into this task so that your children will see the Heavenly Father in you.  Keep a close watch on how you live, and how you teach your children, because they are watching you.  Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation, and the salvation of your children.  

You'll notice that teaching is mentioned three times!!  As we go through this study, I want to encourage those of you, who like myself, have raised your children to adulthood, and are facing an empty home to do just that.  TEACH!!  Your job isn’t over, you still have a charge from the Lord to continue being a father even after they become adults. I want you ‘grandfathers’ to feel free to give advice, tips, and experiences as this study unfolds.  This could be a time to resolve long standing issues, and set your life at ease.  At the same time, I want to encourage all of you who are just beginning to be a father, the job is fun, and is the greatest thing you'll ever do.  Seek the advice, and leadership of those who have already walked the path, or are on the path with you. For those of you who are in the middle of your child rearing process, you can make mid-course corrections to become a better father.  It is never too late.  A few apologies to your children, coupled with promises to do better can help reset the dialogue when things have gone south.  As Holy Spirit revealed my mistakes of the past, I’ve often gone to my children and begged their forgiveness.  As the Apostle Paul once said of his walk with Christ, I don’t consider myself as having arrived at perfection.  A matter of fact, I don’t even know what it looks like anymore, and am convinced that what I thought was perfection was an illusion of my own creation.  Fatherhood is not something you arrive at, but is something you do, constantly, and with intent.  For those of you who remain yet unmarried, and therefore a father in the making, this study should prepare you for that task.  Take copious notes, listen to those who’ve gone before you, and make lists of what you want to do.  I know that I’ve learned many things from all of you, and therefore I know you can learn from one another.  The following lessons are intended to get you thinking about fatherhood in a more purposeful way.

This is my charge to all of you;  Fatherhood never ends, be the best one you can be.