Of all the things I’ve done in nearly sixty five years on this earth, being a father has brought me the greatest joy. You’ll notice that I didn’t say it is the greatest thing I’ve done, that’s because I was ill prepared to be a father. I was too injured, self absorbed, and too broken to even be a good father let alone a good Christian father. Because you guys love me as a brother in the Lord, and you’ve only known me at this stage of my life, you would try to argue with me, and try to assure me that I did just fine. I’d appreciate it, and I would agree that I did just fine, but I could have risen to the excellence of the men I see around me. I don’t believe in regrets, because you can’t go back and do anything over. Actually regrets are just a way to say you’ve learned a lot since you were that stupid. It’s a way of saying you are sorry without really being sorry. I wasn’t the best father. Believe me, I’m not bitter in my self assessment. I take responsibility for my failures, and at the same time, I am grateful for those nudges toward nobility by Holy Spirit over the years. I look at our current crop of children in our fellowship, and I’m so hopeful.
So, I’ll say it again, there is nothing in this world like being a father! It is not my intention in any way to diminish, or negate motherhood, but as a Men’s pastor talking to a bunch of men, you guys are my focus. Fatherhood is a noble endeavor, with heroic consequences. While someone may be considered a hero for saving people from burning buildings, or giving their life for a fellow soldier on the battlefield, fatherhood requires heroics on a daily basis. Even the mightiest superheroes of comic books, and the movies have nothing on fathers. Fathers put their lives on the line daily for their children, without the benefit of superpowers. Fathers must exercise quick judgment, infinite patience, wisdom, strength, and endurance without any superpowers. This is why I believe the role of a father is one of the most noble things a man can do, and being a Christian father takes fatherhood to a completely different level.
You might ask why I use the word noble to describe fatherhood, and that would be a fair question. Noah Webster’s 1828 describes the adjective of “noble” as Great; elevated; dignified; being above every thing that can dishonor reputation; as a noble mind; a noble courage; noble deeds of valor. Sadly, the role of the father in American society is changing. Deliberate, mindful fatherhood, with an eye toward fulfilling the charge of raising children to become contributing members of society is not as revered as it once was. The seriousness with which you embrace fatherhood will determine whether you view it as a noble endeavor, or as a chore. Very few men will embrace the idea of fatherhood being a great endeavor, because most of the time it is simply the outcome of being a husband enjoying his wife. BUT, there is a clear difference between being the father of a child and being a father to a child. Being ‘the father’ of a child is the result of engaging in a reproductive act with a woman. With the conditions being right, and both parties fully capable of procreation, another human being will be the result. Ta da! Voila! You have just created another...person, and become the father in one fell swoop. Without societal pressure to repress your ‘sexual’ urges, you could theoretically be ‘the father’ of unlimited amounts of human beings. Being ‘a father’ is a different matter from just being the father. A father who views his newfound status in life with humility will realize the weight of the task ahead, and embrace it with the knowledge that he is answerable to a higher authority. ‘A father’ accepts responsibility for his reproductive act, and chooses to be personally involved in the development (raising) of his creation. A father refuses to abandon the woman who bore his child. Simply put, the father accepts the consequences of his sexual urges, usually in the context of ‘marriage,’ and this in turn elevates him to a status above the fray. However, before someone thinks I’m advocating an all or nothing view, let it be known that I believe being ‘the father’ is better than no father at all.
Being ‘a father’ is a noble act because it requires self control, selflessness, and virtue beyond just simply living for yourself. That is why I don’t celebrate or extol the idea that fathers in the past were somehow better than fathers of today. After World War 2, fatherhood had its golden era here in the United States. Television glorified the role of father, because we knew the sacrifices they’d made during the war. Inversely, there was a time before WWII when children were viewed as nothing more than slaves, or tools to get things done. Thankfully we enjoy a more enlightened view of fatherhood today. Not only does ‘a father’ commit his life to the ‘mother’ of his child, but he commits himself to the life he’s helped to create. Husband, and wife join together with God as creative forces. This dignifies the office of father, lifting it up above anything that can bring dishonor or shame. Sometimes being a father entails delaying or abandoning personal goals established long before you became a father. Because we’re Christian men, with christian morals, I will state the obvious for our fellowship; sometimes, being ‘a father’ means abandoning the search for the ‘perfect’ life partner because you stepped outside of the christian principal of sexual conduct. Back ‘in the day’ it used to be called ‘doing the right thing.’ That is the difference between being ‘the father’, and ‘a father’.
There is nothing new about this generation’s fixations with sexual liberty, and despite what we may think, promiscuity is no more prevalent today than it was in generation two. We were created to reproduce, and we do it well. God intended the reproduction to be between two loving people, but it isn’t always so. The only difference between ages past and today, is that we now have the means to prevent (to a certain degree) the reproductive function, allowing for more casual sexual encounters. In other words, outside of the threat of sexually transmitted diseases, men can enjoy many partners without the fear of becoming ‘the father’ of another human being. Sex without consequence is a lie. When an accidental child occurs, society now bears the brunt of the casual act of selfishness. We either condone the aborting of the child, or we put the child up for adoption. Society’s answers are never as perfect as God’s. Being ‘A father’ is God’s idea, He wanted children, therefore He made us. (Deuteronomy 32:6) This knowledge should be at the core of every child’s raising. It takes away the idea that anyone is an accident. It also elevates the power of adoption.
My belief in the nobility, and value of Christian fatherhood is supported by insurmountable evidence that active, and engaged fathers are necessary to the emotional, physical, and intellectual development of children. More so, I believe spiritually minded fathers are an added blessing beyond just being a good father. When spiritually minded men actively guide and direct their children toward adulthood, we will help create respectful, loving, and selfless citizens for the future. Fathers, especially Christian fathers are a major force for good in any society. I happen to believe that Christian fathers can model a far better solution to social issues, than the institutional system being touted by progressives. While I understand the mantra of the left, that “it takes a village”, I can tell you clearly that a village begins with a mother and a father first.
As this study moves forward we’ll try to define what Christian fatherhood should look like. We’ll invest ourselves in practical applications. I truly believe that God has brought us to this point to create a new generation of believers, light years beyond our own understanding. Our tiny little city needs God centered young people to move the Kingdom of God forward to a new generation. I believe we’ve been given the privilege of teaching our children how to be the heart of God, beating with true love, and pulsing with compassion. Just as our children have seen the nobility of God in us, they will take Christian fatherhood to the next level of noble pursuit. If not, our great nation will crumble, and we will join the ranks of other failed nation states. That is how powerful fatherhood is.
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