Happy Father's Day

This was the final 'share' day for chapter three in the book, “Bond of Brothers.” It's awesome when we can share our hearts and thoughts with one another through something other than sports, weather, or work.

It's amazing to me how a theme will develop during our times of sharing, and how different men will have different passages highlighted, but the Holy Spirit will guide everyone to say what He wants to say.

Today, we embraced the theme of stewardship, and active involvement. The problem with our media centered lifestyle, is our tendency to allow others to entertain us. We've become a society of watchers, content to let others do the work, play the games, and venture out into the unknown. This is evident in the church more than ever. We are perfectly content to allow a handful of people sing and play for us, one or two people teach us,and one person lay hands on us if we're sick. We become like the Israelites who refused to go up to the mountain of God for fear of dying in His presence. We doubt our faith, question God's willingness to save, heal, and deliver. Our failures and inadequacy override our faith and we find ourselves unable to release the power of the Kingdom into our family let alone the world around us. The enemy successfully uses our own fear against us, while we make heroes of sports stars, actors, and other men of faith. The exploits of patriarchs and others who've gone before us, make us feel small and puny as we live our daily lives in routine anonymity. If we do see the miraculous, we are quick to downplay it. Yet, in the end, it boils down to the passage that twelve year old Nathan read to us. I'm going to share it with you, because of it's significance to the theme of stewardship. Let me quote the passage from the book for you. “God seems to be attracted to children and to men who become like children. We know he assigns guardian angels to each child, and Jesus scolded his friends who told kids to leave him alone. Grown-ups are not permitted, the Bible says, to enter the Kingdom of heaven unless they become like children. So what's the deal with being told to grow up all my life.”

The significance is in the game and story of our lives. Stewardship includes playfulness and the joy of being entrusted with the weightier things of God. The stories of our fellowship will be told by the men and women who are children now. Will they remember how we lived, loved, and played? Will the story be told with the same open candor of the gospels? Will they know the game and story of our lives Will they laugh at the simple faith we lived? On an even more personal note, will they remember this short old man as someone who played Halo with them till the wee small hours of the morning? Or, will they remember me as the intense old man who drove them to become available to the Holy Spirit? Will our young men and women be willing to admit that they still have more to learn, more to grow, and more of life to enjoy in Christ Jesus? Will they desire to leave their own children in a better position to know God than they themselves received it from us.

In my last days on this earth, I want to live in wide eyed wonder of the God who gave His Son for me, while imparting the depth and mystery of God's word. For a man who was an old man when he was a young boy, I want to be the little child that God loves. I desire to know my savior as a little child, but love as one who wants to live for others.

This Thursday our fellowship will be sending off another group of men and women to Nicaragua for a week of ministry and fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Managua. This is the game and story of our fellowship. I wish I could go with them. I love our family in Nicaragua. We go to play with those whom God has chosen, and we go to share the story of what God is doing in us all. Our common denominator is our Lord and Savior Jesus. 

I forgot to tell everyone to read chapter four.  We'll begin looking into it next week.  

GENTLE FATHERS

One of the joys of being the Men's Pastor of our fellowship, is the privilege of participating in the divine nature of Christ.  Today, I had the honor of watching men who love God open up their hearts to one another in a way I've never seen before. As any of you who've read this blog know by now, we are an open and transparent group of men. A few weeks back, one of the men asked me for a definition of transparency. I knew what he was asking, but I wanted a physical example to give him. I wanted a moment I could point to and say; “this is what transparency looks like.” Today was that moment, and wouldn't you know, he wasn't there today. So, C-Dawg, this is for you.

We're still in chapter three of the book "Bond of Brothers", and dealing with the importance of fathers to our lives. Wes Yoder has this wonderful way of bringing the needs in our lives to the forefront without wrapping them in preachiness. I began the study by reading the two highlights from chapter three, that were read last week. I asked our next man in line to offer up his highlighted excerpt from the book “Bond of Brothers.”

WOW! 

 You talk about completely changing things up! We went through about seven men this morning, so, I hope everyone will understand if I don't recount everyone's reading or the intimate details of it. What I will share is what I felt the Holy Spirit saying throughout the entire meeting. Our Brother Tony, shared the passage about 'Gentleness' being an attribute men need, and one that is in God's nature. He told us the story of a gentle man of God who'd been there throughout the major events of his life. At every turn, where life decisions were made, this man had been there quietly guiding him along the way. For those of us who know our Bro. Tony, we can all be grateful to the Lord for putting a man of gentle strength into Tony's life. Someday, I look forward to meeting this man, and thanking him for living the fruit of the Spirit.

Pastor Michael read from the portion of the book where Wes Yoder talks about his friend the 'sports' nut.' Pastor Michael was touched by the passage because he himself is a 'sports nut' and he has a very close friend who isn't. The two of them have a friendship that has lasted for thirty years in spite of their different interests.

Pastor Eric's passage was the same as Bro. Tony's. He mentioned how the passage had challenged him to express the gentleness within himself.

Bro. Carl read the passage that talked about how our children long for us to be a part of the 'game and story' of their lives. He used the example of one of the tiny toddlers in our church who will take him by the hand and lead him to where his play toys are or outside where they can play. It is a gift to you and the little one, when you can kneel down and join in their world.

This was one of those times, that I wished our women could have been at the keyhole of our discussion and heard the tender words and memories that flowed from the hearts of their men. You see, this is what Wes Yoder says happens when you ask a man to talk about what he really cares about. The fire in a man's heart isn't a raging flame of anger, or a consuming fire of sexual passion. The forge of a Godly man's heart produces a stronger steel than what the world would have you to believe. The bellows of the Holy Spirit heats the fire of love and devotion in a man's heart to a point far beyond what is considered normal. I know! I've seen these men with their children, and I've heard their story.

Living the life of Christ is not a drudgery to these men. They are men of holy passion. Their stories are wonderfully alive and real.

So, with their permission, I'd like to pull everything down into a nutshell. Of all the qualities of the character of God that we men should allow to bear fruit in our lives, gentleness is one of the most important, especially when you have children.

For a world who sees our God as a stiff, unyielding, and tyrannical creature bent on our destruction, I offer up a different view. I present to you the loving, joyous, peaceful, longsuffering, gentle, good, faithful, meek, and temperate God who loves His children more than we carnal fathers ever could. You see, I believe that when we truly know the real nature of God, we can become more like him. I am naïve enough to believe that men who've been born again, can display the nature of God to their wives, and family. I am sentimental enough to dream of a day when our young men won't be crippled by their exploding hormones and will instead be ruled by the Spirit of Christ within them. You can't tell me it can't happen, because I've seen it within the men who've allowed me to shepherd their sons, and to speak into their lives.

What breaks my heart is that those who are ruled by the carnal nature, would have you to believe that there aren't noble men of Godly character. The Hollywood grist mills would like for you to believe that all men are ruled by their stomach and parts further down below. The feminist pandering jabber boxes would like to rob decent men of their honor and dignity. I am here to tell you that they are liars, and their words are lies. I know good men. I know Godly men. I know men who make me desire to be a better man than I ever thought I could be. I know Tony, Michael, Eric, Dale, Carl, Jeff, and a host of others whose lives speak volumes of the power of the Spirit of God.

You see, what makes gentleness such an admiral fruit of the Spirit, is that in order to be gentle, you must be strong. It is implied. Within the picture of a man holding a tiny infant, is the knowledge that this creature who could easily crush this tiny life, can cradle it softly in his hands till the softest whimper disappears in a tender sleep. The same hands that can move mountains, drive nails, fell timbers, and make steel edifices rise from the earth, can carry their sleeping child from the car to their room without waking them. The same feet that trudge through war zones, will embrace the tiny toes and feet of a toddler wishing to dance with 'Daddy.' The same arms that can throw footballs over two hundred feet, basketballs a hundred feet, or baseballs across a diamond, can embrace a squealing child and impart the message of love.

HOW?

Because our God has made us in His image. Gentleness is His nature. Tenderness is his quality. It is the carnal nature that would try to drive it out of us. We don't understand the dichotomy of His nature, so we barely understand it in ourselves. It is hard to believe that the very same God who breathed stars into existence, could breathe into the nostrils of a cold and lifeless lump of flesh. It is hard to believe that the very same God who drowned an Egyptian army would also save seven lives. It is easier to believe in the harsh, stern, and unyielding God of our own creation, than the tender gentle loving God of Creation. Our sons, and yes, even more so, our daughters deserve to know a gentle father like our gentle Father.

I don't have any doubt they exist, because I've seen them.    

THE FATHERS WE NEED

PRAISE GOD! What a fantastic Men's Group we had this morning. It was a far cry from the blunder I made last Sunday.

For the sake of those who weren't there this morning, I'll give you a brief summary of what I said, and then delve into what was said by others.

I apologized for letting the study get out of control last week and not staying on point. It's difficult to cut people off and tell them that they aren't on point, and I should have done that last week. We need to be on point, and there's no one to blame but me if we don't. I handed out the lesson sheet from last week and asked everyone to read it at their leisure. I gave the gist of the lesson sheet and then moved on to the homework assignment I assigned last week.

LAST WEEK'S HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: Read the third chapter in the book; Bond of Brothers, highlight your favorite passage in the chapter and be prepared to explain why you highlighted it.

THIS WEEK; Our discussion began with one of our young men who's been off to college, reading the passage that says; Men whose orientation is only in this life will mess up your soul and diminish your spirit if you are entangled with the mind-set that controls and drives their lives. (From Bond of Brothers)

This passage was linked to Psalms 17:13-14, Where King David declared; “Deliver my soul. . ., O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life.”

When our vision, our life's passion is to fulfill the siren song of this life, we will always find ourselves limited in scope and power. If we become entangled with men whose only purpose is to satisfy the flesh, we are setting ourselves up for failure. If our heroes are men whose strength and determination are spent on acquiring wealth, power, or fame, we link ourselves with them and will eventually worship the very things they worship. As men of God, and brothers in Christ Jesus, we have a deeper well to draw from, a higher star to steer by, and a greater strength to lean on. This doesn't mean Christians can't be rich, powerful, or famous. It simply means that if we idolize the men who live for these things, we subjugate our God given dreams and talents to the ruler of this world. We live a diminished life, living far below the glory of God.

The second passage was read by another young man in our group, who is an up and coming business man. I won't quote his reading, because it was almost three paragraphs long. But, I can tell you that the passage he read, took on a life all of its own. The rest of our study was spent discussing what we have to give and how we can receive. We began to explore the 'self-made man' and the ideology behind him. How did we get so screwed up here in America? Once again the answer lies squarely on the shoulders of our fathers and on us. We men are given children while we are hormonally challenged and our frontal lobe still hasn't developed yet. Our sons cry and in order to shut them up, we tell them that big boys don't cry. When they offer to help us, we assure them that we don't need their help, BECAUSE what we are doing is for 'big boys.' We men spend the first half of our adult years establishing who we are and the second half lamenting the loss of who we are. When we are young we measure our worth and value by what we do more than by what we are.

The most poignant moment came when one of our older men, told the story of his father. He described his father as a strong, physical, and skilled construction worker. Somewhere in the description he also expressed that his father was as mean as a snake. His earliest memories of his father, were of him being able to do anything. As his father moved into his eighties, he became despondent because he was no longer able to do those things he'd once done in his youth. In frustration, he said: “I can't even reach above my head to put in a light bulb. What good am I? I might as well be dead.” His son, responded as I'm sure all of us would, “Dad, there is so much you know, that I need to know. I don't need what you can do, I want you.”

Therein, lies the trouble with men, we think our value is in what we do instead of in what we are. If we can't do what we once did, we feel worthless. This mindset is from the carnal mind and robs generation after generation of the blessing of a fathers love. The carnal mind makes us spend every waking moment, working. We borrow, sweat, and slave till we have something, only to find we've spent our life on nothing. We drive away our children, push away our parents, divorce our wives, and quit job after job because we want from men what the heavenly Father has already bestowed upon us – worth. Sadly, the only thing we truly want from our fathers, is the one thing that most of them can't say or give - unconditional love. This 'heart' disease is passed from father to son, in a never ending cycle of disappointment and sorrow. An absentee father can still be there, lurking in our broken hearts, tugging at our manhood, and driving us to succeed in meaningless ways long after he's dead or gone. This is not the example of our heavenly Father. His desire for our lives is for us to be like Him, and he's shown us the way, through a man just like us, and amazingly just like Him, Jesus. I personally wonder how long will it take for Christian men to realize that it is fathers we need.  We don't need more failed sports heroes, business juggernauts, deluded actors, or anyone who possesses an abnormal appreciation of their self-worth.  The blame for our worship of heroes rests squarely on the shoulders of men who've abdicated the throne of fatherhood for the cheap substitutes of job title, big bank accounts, or ten seconds of fame.  We are once more confronted with the power of fathers to shape this world

To put icing on the cake, our Worship Pastor preached all over the morning's study. I think it is amazing to watch the Holy Spirit tie things together.

NEXT WEEK: For those of you who didn't read the third chapter, we're extending this assignment to next week. Read chapter three and be prepared to share a highlighted section.