THE FATHERS WE NEED

PRAISE GOD! What a fantastic Men's Group we had this morning. It was a far cry from the blunder I made last Sunday.

For the sake of those who weren't there this morning, I'll give you a brief summary of what I said, and then delve into what was said by others.

I apologized for letting the study get out of control last week and not staying on point. It's difficult to cut people off and tell them that they aren't on point, and I should have done that last week. We need to be on point, and there's no one to blame but me if we don't. I handed out the lesson sheet from last week and asked everyone to read it at their leisure. I gave the gist of the lesson sheet and then moved on to the homework assignment I assigned last week.

LAST WEEK'S HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: Read the third chapter in the book; Bond of Brothers, highlight your favorite passage in the chapter and be prepared to explain why you highlighted it.

THIS WEEK; Our discussion began with one of our young men who's been off to college, reading the passage that says; Men whose orientation is only in this life will mess up your soul and diminish your spirit if you are entangled with the mind-set that controls and drives their lives. (From Bond of Brothers)

This passage was linked to Psalms 17:13-14, Where King David declared; “Deliver my soul. . ., O Lord, from men of the world whose portion is in this life.”

When our vision, our life's passion is to fulfill the siren song of this life, we will always find ourselves limited in scope and power. If we become entangled with men whose only purpose is to satisfy the flesh, we are setting ourselves up for failure. If our heroes are men whose strength and determination are spent on acquiring wealth, power, or fame, we link ourselves with them and will eventually worship the very things they worship. As men of God, and brothers in Christ Jesus, we have a deeper well to draw from, a higher star to steer by, and a greater strength to lean on. This doesn't mean Christians can't be rich, powerful, or famous. It simply means that if we idolize the men who live for these things, we subjugate our God given dreams and talents to the ruler of this world. We live a diminished life, living far below the glory of God.

The second passage was read by another young man in our group, who is an up and coming business man. I won't quote his reading, because it was almost three paragraphs long. But, I can tell you that the passage he read, took on a life all of its own. The rest of our study was spent discussing what we have to give and how we can receive. We began to explore the 'self-made man' and the ideology behind him. How did we get so screwed up here in America? Once again the answer lies squarely on the shoulders of our fathers and on us. We men are given children while we are hormonally challenged and our frontal lobe still hasn't developed yet. Our sons cry and in order to shut them up, we tell them that big boys don't cry. When they offer to help us, we assure them that we don't need their help, BECAUSE what we are doing is for 'big boys.' We men spend the first half of our adult years establishing who we are and the second half lamenting the loss of who we are. When we are young we measure our worth and value by what we do more than by what we are.

The most poignant moment came when one of our older men, told the story of his father. He described his father as a strong, physical, and skilled construction worker. Somewhere in the description he also expressed that his father was as mean as a snake. His earliest memories of his father, were of him being able to do anything. As his father moved into his eighties, he became despondent because he was no longer able to do those things he'd once done in his youth. In frustration, he said: “I can't even reach above my head to put in a light bulb. What good am I? I might as well be dead.” His son, responded as I'm sure all of us would, “Dad, there is so much you know, that I need to know. I don't need what you can do, I want you.”

Therein, lies the trouble with men, we think our value is in what we do instead of in what we are. If we can't do what we once did, we feel worthless. This mindset is from the carnal mind and robs generation after generation of the blessing of a fathers love. The carnal mind makes us spend every waking moment, working. We borrow, sweat, and slave till we have something, only to find we've spent our life on nothing. We drive away our children, push away our parents, divorce our wives, and quit job after job because we want from men what the heavenly Father has already bestowed upon us – worth. Sadly, the only thing we truly want from our fathers, is the one thing that most of them can't say or give - unconditional love. This 'heart' disease is passed from father to son, in a never ending cycle of disappointment and sorrow. An absentee father can still be there, lurking in our broken hearts, tugging at our manhood, and driving us to succeed in meaningless ways long after he's dead or gone. This is not the example of our heavenly Father. His desire for our lives is for us to be like Him, and he's shown us the way, through a man just like us, and amazingly just like Him, Jesus. I personally wonder how long will it take for Christian men to realize that it is fathers we need.  We don't need more failed sports heroes, business juggernauts, deluded actors, or anyone who possesses an abnormal appreciation of their self-worth.  The blame for our worship of heroes rests squarely on the shoulders of men who've abdicated the throne of fatherhood for the cheap substitutes of job title, big bank accounts, or ten seconds of fame.  We are once more confronted with the power of fathers to shape this world

To put icing on the cake, our Worship Pastor preached all over the morning's study. I think it is amazing to watch the Holy Spirit tie things together.

NEXT WEEK: For those of you who didn't read the third chapter, we're extending this assignment to next week. Read chapter three and be prepared to share a highlighted section.