Happy Are The Merciful

I wish more men could sit in on the lessons we’re having right now.  Actually, I wish our women could enjoy this time as well.  My heart has grown ten times too big during the last few weeks as I’ve listened to our men teaching the deeper truths of the Kingdom of Heaven.  We’ve been delving deeply into the beatitudes, and each of the men has taken us deeper by steps.  This morning, our Bro. Eric taught on the merciful.  Here is his lesson sheet.

THE MERCIFUL

Matthew 5:7 (NLT)  God blesses those who are merciful, for they shall be shown mercy

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Definition of Merciful:  Treating people with kindness, and forgiveness: not cruel or harsh: giving relief from suffering.

James 2:13 (NLT) There will be no  mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others.  But, if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you.

Micah 7: 18-19  (NLT)  Where is another God like you, who pardons the guilt of the remnant, overlooking the sins of His special people?  You will not stay angry with your people forever, because you delight in showing unfailing love. (19) Once again you will have compassion on us.  You will trample our sins under your feet, and throw them into the depths of the ocean!

We all want, and NEED His mercy!!! Show mercy on those around us that also NEED it, so we can live in the mercies of the Lord. 

SHOWING MERCY

Daniel 4:27 (NLT)  “’ King Nebucadnezzar, please accept my advice.  Stop sinning and do what is right.  Break from your wicked past and be merciful to the poor.  Perhaps then you will continue to prosper.  

                We cannot be prosperous without showing mercy

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Isaiah 58:6-9 (NLT)   ⁶No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you.  Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.  ⁷ Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless.  Give clothes to those who need them and do not hide from relatives who need your help.  ⁸ “Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.  Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. ⁹ Then when you call, the Lord will answer.  ‘Yes, I am here, ‘ He will reply. “Remove the heavy yoke of oppression. Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors.

                God has us on earth to spread His Kingdom by showing others what it is.

Deuteronomy 4:31  (NLT) For the Lord your God is a merciful God; He will not abandon you or destroy you or forget the solemn covenant he made with your ancestors.

                Mercy saves us from destruction!

 BOOM!  A mercy bomb!

Hebrews 13:5  (NLT)  Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have for God has said, “I will never fail you.  I will never abandon you.”

Joshua 1:5  (NLT) No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live.  For, I will be with you  as I was with Moses, I will not fail you or abandon you.

                Relief from suffering seems to be a recurring theme in being merciful.  We need to be in the family business of showing mercy, because he surely will not abandon us!! We are His sons and daughters. 

Psalms 37:5-6  (NLT)“Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust Him and he will help you.  He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.” 

OTHER VERSES MENTIONED:  Malachi 3: 16-17, Romans 13:8-9, Psalms 33:18,  Ephesians 4:28

Our Brother Eric took this study into a different place than most people would go.  I know his heart, having known him since he was a teenager.  He latched on to the last part of the definition of being merciful, especially :  Giving relief from suffering.  Brother Eric is a merciful man.  He gives of his time, his money, his knowledge, and his skills.  He gives when he has nothing to give.  He gives things that can’t be measured by physical means.   I am so thankful that he went this direction, because in this day, and hour, we need to show mercy.  We need to show the kind, and tender mercies of the Lord.  This lesson was so much more poignant to me in the light of the devastation in the Philippines due to Typhoon Haiyan.  It is easy to look at ourselves and say ‘we’ll pray for you.’  What is demanded of us by the Lord?   What about here in our own backyard.  Can we ignore those who work with us, worship with us, and even live with us?  If we abandon those around us, what will the Lord do when we need him?  

Americans have always been quick to give to those in need.  It doesn’t matter whether it is an enemy we just fought with, or whether it is a people halfway around the world, Americans love to show mercy.  I believe it is why we continue to be blessed, despite our rejection of God as a nation.  God’s principals are never diminished, only our ability to see why they come in the first place.  Mercy is the only thing that keeps us from falling apart as a nation.

As a final note; I’d like to mention some of the off the cuff remarks during the lesson.  “Love isn’t always practical.”  “Giving mercy is a family thing, showing mercy can be especially difficult to family.”  “We prosper when we show mercy, because we are being obedient to the law of love.”  “Showing mercy looses the bonds, and chains of iniquity.”  “You can’t show mercy without love.” 

COMPLETE RELIANCE

Throughout my life, I've always been taught that you can be, or do anything you want if you put your mind to it. At the same time, as a Christian, I've always been taught that we are nothing without God. These two mindsets have warred within me as long as I can remember. The first mindset appeals to my human nature, my pride, and the innate desire within all mankind to succeed, or at best survive. To stand in the face of insurmountable odds, to strive to overcome against adversity, and to bring everything you are to bear against overwhelming fear, must come from somewhere deeper than our own nature. When we come to our own end, when we've used up everything we possess, there is a grace that comes from outside of us. That grace, that power of will, that desire to be like the one who created us, brings us to the one place where we stand tall. . . . our knees. It is there on our knees, we express our complete reliance upon the creator of the universe. Yes, I believe in the creator of the universe. I also believe in His belief in us. Our complete reliance upon Him is what makes Him stronger in our lives. At the same time, He enjoys us. He especially enjoys us when we exercise the gifts He gave us.

Last week in our Men's Group, Bro. Caleb taught on Meekness. Here is his lesson sheet:

Matthew 5:5 (NIV) Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Often the word “meek” is associate with the word weak, which I found to be a mistake. Meekness on the other hand is in many ways a sign of true strength. Knowing the power we have as a child of God allows us to operate in true meekness. Being meek allows us to have true happiness.

Example – Moses

Moses was the leader chosen by God to lead His people Israel out of Egypt. Although God had called him to be a mighty leader, he was still very meek.

When you are meek, God will stand up for you, even when others are speaking against you. This makes me very happy.

Numbers 12:1 – 13 NIV

God declared Moses as the meekest man on the face of the earth. God was very upset at them for Aaron and Miriam for speaking against His servant Moses.

After God cleanses the earth of all the people who do not revere and worship Him truthfully, there will be only the meek left. God will remove all who do not rely on Him.

Zephaniah 3:9 – 13 NIV

God says he will purify the lips of the peoples, so that all may call on His name. In verse 12, He says, “. . .I will leave within you the meek and the humble. The remnant of Israel will trust in the name of the Lord.”

This makes me happy because when you are meek, God says that you will be in His remnant of people. In verse 13, it continues to say, “They will do no wrong; they will tell no lies. . . . .They will eat and lie down, and no one will make them afraid.”

Being Meek allows you to be part of the remnant. As part of God's remnant, there is nothing to fear, and that brings happiness.

Psalms 37: 11 NIV

“But the meek will inherit the land and enjoy peace and prosperity.”

The meek are happy because they know their inheritance is the Lord.

Meekness is controlling the desire to rebel, fight, and to try to stand on our own desires. Submitting ourselves to the Lord, and yielding to His control brings His peace, which leads to happiness.

Also being meek makes it easier to love, because you do not think of yourself as higher than another.

Dave's comments: Here is a recurring theme that has arisen in the last three lessons. Reliance upon God. Complete reliance doesn't erase our personality, our abilities, or our desires. Actually, complete reliance upon God enhances who we are. Our personality becomes genuine, our abilities are amplified, and our desires become pure. Christ honors our individuality, while at the same time melding us with the purposes of God. Meekness in a Christian is to know that within us is the phenomenal power of God, channeled to greater expressions of love. With the power of our tongue we have the ability to call down heaven's hosts against those who would hurt us, but meekness allows us to love them instead.

Okay, you'll have to put up with me, now. One of the men who was supposed to teach today's lesson was unable to, so I stepped in. I've been enjoying the lessons from the other men, so you can imagine my disappointment. Maybe sometime in the future, Brother.

HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO SEEK AFTER JUSTICE (RIGHTEOUSNESS)

Matthew 5:6  (Amplified) Blessed, and fortunate, and happy, and spiritually prosperous (in that state in which the born again child of God enjoys HIS favor, and salvation) are those who hunger, and thirst for righteousness (uprightness, and right standing with God) for they shall be completely satisfied.

Ø  Justice (righteousness- Right acts- fairness- the right thing,) is not a set of commands, but an attitude of love.  Love is expressed in justice, (right acts.) 

o   1 Kings 10:9 

§  God’s desire to bless is bound up in the act of justice. His first expression of love is His desire to bless us with righteousness through Jesus His son.

§  Psalms 82

Ø  Our continual, overwhelming desire, {hunger (body), and thirst(soul)} should be to seek after justice (righteousness) 

o   Proverbs 21:3

§  While God’s desire is to bless us, our own hunger and thirst determine our satisfaction.

o   Isaiah 56:1- 7

§  When we are seeking to do justice, we are happy to be doing the work of the Lord.  It becomes meat and drink to us.  While we may become sated for an instant, we desire to do more. 

Ø  The expression of Justice is both in what we do and in our attitude. 

o   Isaiah 61:1-3

o   I am happy when I seek to do justice, because God is within those things, and He becomes my satisfaction. 

o   When the disciples thought Jesus was hungry, He told them that He had food that they didn’t know about.  Bringing the woman at the well to salvation was food to Him.

Ø  The Kingdom of God is; Righteousness (justice) Peace (the presence of God), and JOY in the Holy Ghost.  Our satisfaction is in doing the will of the Father.   Justice is the feast that the Father say’s “come and dine”    “Come taste of me, see that I am good.”  Justice is the sweet manna of heaven.  If we say we love God, we will seek to do His heart. 

Ø  The promise of this verse is that the righteous person will be satisfied NOW!  It isn’t pie in the sky reward later.  Acts of righteousness are instant gratification.  We have to train our souls to taste it just as well as our natural sense of taste.     

An AFTER word; this is a pivotal verse for us. So often we mess up the word 'Justice,' confusing it with being fair. Justice is the 'act' of restoring a person to equity, placing them on equal footing with others. God is all about Justice. HE IS JUST! The problem arises when we use the laws He created to enslave others. When we don't exercise the mercy, compassion, and tenderness he expresses toward us, we become unrighteous. Hungering and thirsting for righteousness is desiring above all else to see equity restored. That is why Christ left us His Spirit. His Spirit empowers us to heal, deliver, and restore. His Spirit fulfills our greatest desires. We can stand in the place of judgment, and give it completely to the only one who is able to judge. More than that, he left us with the ability to make things right. WOW! Can you lay hold of that? He uses us to restore equity. We become the $50 that someone needs to make it through the week. We become the car mechanic that knows exactly what's wrong. These are things we can do in our physical man, led by the Spirit of God, but there is more! We become the finger of God, reaching out to touch the infirm, the afflicted, and the brokenhearted. We become doers of the Word, not just hearers. It works on two levels, He uses what we have to offer, and we use what he has to offer. He makes our best efforts rise above our greatest weaknesses. We become the righteousness of Christ.

Oh well, some of you will agree with me.  

Looking at Matthew 5:3 From Two Different Perspectives

 About six weeks ago, I asked some of our men to teach on the beatitudes.  You might be wondering what the beatitudes have to do with the Kingdom of God, but it only takes the first passage of scripture to reassure yourself that they have everything to do with it.  The beatitudes define what the Kingdom of Heaven is all about.   The first beatitude can be found in Matthew 5:3, and because there are two schools of thought concerning this scripture verse, I assigned the passage to two different people.  There is one school of thought that says the passage should read: “Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”   Then we have another school of thought that says it should read “Blessed are the poor in spirit (the humble); for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.”  

When I assigned the lessons, I didn’t tell either of the men that they were teaching the same verse.  I didn’t want either one defending, or comparing their interpretation of the verse.  I also asked them to produce a lesson sheet, and answer two questions; the first being:  1. How does practicing the particular beatitude make you happy?  2.  What does the particular beatitude have to do with the Kingdom? 

The first lesson was on Humility, and was taught by Curtis, a man in his late forties. 

THE HUMBLE:

v  The spiritual principal of humbleness produces freedom, peace, and an abundant happier life

Ø  Humility makes you happier because, having humility means you are teachable.  Being teachable brings hope, and where there is hope, there is happiness (Proverbs 29:18)

Ø  Honesty, Open mindedness, and Willingness accompany humility (Romans 12:3)

Ø  Pride is the opposite of Humble: (Proverbs 29:23, Matthew 23:12)

Ø  New Ideas CAN NOT be grafted onto a closed mind, pride closes our minds to new ideas.

Ø  Pride keeps us locked in bondage , and limited to what we know, and that produces the pressure and stress of having to know all the answers, and making those answers work.(Romans 12:16)

Ø  Living a humble life invites God into our lives, by letting him know we need Him. (Proverbs 3:5-7)

Ø  When we are humble (practicing humility,) we can look past our defects, or our powerlessness over a situation, to seek a solution from God.  This will give us the power (grace) to overcome. “overcoming makes us happy)  (James 4:6-11)

Ø  When we humble ourselves, and place ourselves in a lower position to be of service to someone, it removes us from the picture, gets our minds off of the problems, and sometimes that is what is needed to change our attitude!

Ø  MISERY IS OPTIONAL – PRIDE EQUALS MISERY – HUMBLE EQUALS HAPPINESS !

This last weekend, 14 year old Stone taught on the same verse, but from the position of being poor.  (If you want to be amazed, just keep in mind that this is a 14 yr-old.

THE POOR IN SPIRIT:

v  Matthew 5:3 (NLT) God blesses them who realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs

Ø  The poor have nothing that is an illusion of security to them.  They only have God to protect them.

Ø  “The Lord wants to cause even the rich and middle class to become poor in spirit and know their total need for Him.”  (Compelled by Love: by Heidi Baker)

§  The Poor in Spirit have eliminated every option except for Jesus.  There is no plan B for the poor in spirit.  God blesses them because they realize their need for Him.  WE are happier when we are poor in spirit, because we do not rely on our own strength to overcome. (Note similar thought to Curtis’ thought)

Ø  Psalms 91:2 – This I declare of the Lord: He ALONE is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God and I trust in Him.

§  The poor in spirit don’t run to anything but God: only He can offer true, and unwavering protection.  Only HE is always, and completely faithful

Ø  Psalms 20:7 – Some nations boast of their armies and weapons, but we boast in the Lord our God.

§  The poor in spirit value nothing of themselves, but always feel that God is the most important in their lives, and that he alone deserves our devotion.

v  The poor in spirit are happy because they do not rely on their own strength, or other flimsy ideas but fully rely on God.  Therefore they have no anxiety because they are not the ones in control.

  There you have it, two people at opposite ends of the age spectrum, bringing life to the issue of the Poor in Spirit.  I know how people can tend to be when they are arguing for, or against a point, so I think it was fun to see this verse taught from such a pure point of view.  No matter which interpretation you embrace, the simple truth of the matter is that our happiness comes from a position of believing God is our source.  Whether it is humility or being poor, our lives are happier when we rely on God. 

I kind of like the purest sense of the “poor” being the people Christ was referring to in His sermon. I don’t believe we have to live in poverty, nor do we have to subject ourselves to poverty to have the Kingdom.  At the same time I believe that those who rely completely on God for their needs are happier than those who trust in themselves, their money, or their position.  It isn’t the ‘having’ or ‘not-having’ that matters, it’s the heart condition in the middle of it.  I’ve know plenty of poor people who are what I call ‘dirt proud,’ and I’ve known plenty of people with money who’re as humble as they come.  Whatever interpretation you believe, be happy.   

Sorrow's Power

Our study into Wes Yoder’s book, the “Bond of Brothers” stalled out on the topic of sorrow being the hand that shapes us. Most of the time, our men are very animated and talkative about even the most embarrassing parts of their life, but within this discussion, it is almost as if we’ve stepped into forbidden territory.  Are the issues of betrayal, rejection, and pain too much to admit to?  Is Wes Yoder right about men covering up their deepest sorrows with small talk, and religious duty, or have these men truly found the God of all comfort?  Have they discovered the river of life that flows from heaven’s throne and washes clean those who step into its healing flow?  Is there nothing to say, because they’ve already given it to the one who knows, and cares for them?  Is this the point where we split ways with Brother Wes, and admit that some things are best given to the Lord, and left alone?  As I looked around the room at all of the men whom I have come to love like a brother, I believe the latter is true. 

However, for many, the depths of sorrow are never completely plumbed until the moment a mind closes the gate to the pain from which it springs. Insanity, madness, and cruelty are the fruits of a man crushed by sorrows. If you want to explore the power of faith, remove hope.  Hopelessness becomes self-sustaining, till once vital men become shadows, empty husks, without joy, breathing, but dying in the quicksand of their own blackened imaginations.  T.S. Eliot in his poem “The Wastelands,”  said; “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”  The greatest fear in any man is the fear of a meaningless life.  Suicide, self-mutilation, emulation upon the fires of senseless lusts become the antidote for the sorrows without purpose.  For the man trapped in hopelessness, pornography, sexual addictions, chemical dependency, gluttony, physical abuse, emotional abuse, are all just symptoms of a broken heart that has never found joy at the bottom of sorrow. 

If as Wes Yoder wrote in Chapter Eight, sorrow is the hand that shapes us, then every one of us need to encourage one another to keep our eyes fixed on the finish.  However, if the finish we are running toward is only to satisfy the lusts of our flesh, or no greater than our own selfish desires, then we have missed the point of the sorrows.  If we grieve only for ourselves, we become disfigured, cruel, empty, and darkened against all hope of redemption.  Without hope, we become less than we could have been.  In the course of my life, I’ve known men who owned no cloak of invisibility, whose every breath seemed to draw in unspeakable horrors.  My heart would break for them, until I sensed that they enjoyed the sympathy the pain brought them. I’ve also known men who moved through insurmountable obstacles with effortless grace, unwilling to allow the sorrow to throw a handful of dust upon their graves.  In the end, as you face your last breath, it isn’t about your belief in God.  It isn’t whether you succumbed to your worst fears, or stood defiantly upon the blooded hills of your greatest achievements, and laughed at those less courageous than you.  In the end, after every dart has left it’s wound, and every cut has become a healed scar, any man who has a shred of virtue left in him, will wonder if he left anything of value behind.  Those who’ve placed their trust in Christ can be assured they have. 

I can’t help but think of the Apostle Paul, writing to his dear friend Timothy.  Like Paul, have I run the race to win?  Have I fought the good fight?  Every picture the Apostle Paul drew upon, and that we adore as Christian men, is fraught with struggle, sorrow, and bitter disappointment.  The runner fights against the body’s desire to quit, to submit to the effects of fatigue.  We all admire the runner who reaches down from somewhere beyond muscle and sinew into a wellspring that is mystical, and God given.  In the same moment we are rejoicing with the one who found that inner strength, we groan with those who can’t find that place beyond hope, and do not cross the line in victory.  Sorrow trips them up, and they listen to the song of their flesh.  They never reach into the strength beyond knowing .  Let’s admit it dear brothers, we are all in the same race, and the goal is beyond the knowledge of our death warrant that was signed upon the day of our conception.

 

Wes Yoder bemoans the fact that as American Christian men, we don’t prepare one another, or even comfort one another in those times when sorrow is pressing in upon us.  He sees men suffering in quiet agony as God’s mighty hand works to make us greater than ourselves.  As a man who works with tools all day, I know that the tools that shape us seem cruel to the untrained eye, just as the craftsman’s tools must seem cruel to the stone waiting to be shaped.  My reply to Brother Yoder is:  how do you prepare any man for the betrayal of friends, brothers, mothers, fathers, wives, and even children?  How do you prepare a wide-eyed youngster for the cut of despair made at the hands of those he thought he could trust?  What do you say to your child as he prepares for God’s operating table called life?  How do you tell a young man beginning his adult years, that the young woman who trembles at his touch, will one day seem cold and heartless in her rejection of his passion?  What can you say to a man cradling his infant child, that will hold him together when that child becomes a teenager, and angrily storms out of the house in rebellion against the father’s deepest beliefs?  None of us can be prepared for the personal pain that we experience when life throws us the equivalent of a train wreck.   Even if I sat down and made a history of those things that have ripped my soul apart, the truth is that no one will ever experience what I’ve experienced.  You might be able empathize, but you won’t be able to feel it.  Sorry, Bro. Wes, this is where you and I part ways.  You can have all the dinner and conversations you want, but when a man is in the midst of his greatest sorrow, it is between him and God.  The Book of Job should make this clear.  Job’s friends could only make his sorrow deeper.  In the end, it was God Himself, who stepped in and put an end to the fiasco.  There is no sense to betrayal.  There is no reason for abuse.  There are no answers for the innocent who are thrown beneath the bus.  We can only cling to the knowledge, that at the end of our sorrow, there is a God who makes all things work together for good to them who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose. 

During the class, I hoped to comfort you with the knowledge that you are facing nothing less than what our own precious creator has endured.  Betrayal, rejection, rebellion, heartbreak, pain, grief, and even anger at the cruelty of life’s bitter drink have been inflicted upon the creator of the universe.  We suffer because we are created in the image of a suffering God.

What?  God suffer sorrow? 

More than you’ll ever know in your allotted days.  It is because He has endured them, He understands us.  It is because He knows the depths of our sorrows, that He knows their power to transform us into greater beings than we would be if our lives were empty of any struggle or conflict.  The creator of all life has known every bitter pill we swallow, and in the end, it has made Him a being of love.  Love trumps every aspect of His nature, and allows Him to redeem that which He loves, even though Justice demanded our destruction.  Love became the salve that carried Him through the rejection of a third of the angels.  Love drove Him to call out to fallen man even though He knew before He called out what had happened.  You see, I bring it back to the one truth that I know to be self-evident; all sorrow is born of relationship.  My deepest sorrow is that I betray the Lord almost every day.  Even though my heart is ever set upon Him, He is the one I fail the most.  Still, He desires me, and calls to me in the cool of the day.  “David, where are you?”  In my fear and shame, I can only hold the fig leaf of my betrayal against my nakedness and declare my love for Him. 

That is why Chapter Nine is such a powerful moment of truth.  In it, we have the answer to our own betrayals of the Lord we say we love.  In the end it isn’t about our knowledge, but our relationship.  That is why in the end, HE WILL wipe away every tear.  Who other than our loving redeemer can erase the bitter tears born of sorrow?  We must trust our end to the one who endured more sorrow than we could ever imagine.

I’d like to apologize to my Bro. Charles for the length of this post.  I couldn’t find a point to be brief, and the prose wouldn’t stop.  

HOMEWORK:  Read Chapter Nine- and highlight a passage that speaks directly to  you.  

Mid Week Tune Up: Self-Help verses God-Help, Moving Past the Condemnation

With the hundreds of self-help titles available in Christian books stores and online, it makes you wonder why so many Christian's lives are still so messed up? Why doesn't the words on the page make it to the brain cells that are supposed to put those words into action and make us successful in our Christian walk? Why do thousands of pastors and teachers have to gather every week to recite passages and expound upon thoughts that are clearly written on the page? With all of the wonderful easy to understand translations of the Bible, why do so many of us have a hard time getting the message?

Actually the answer is one word; CONDEMNATION.

The book that is actually meant to help you, has to convince you that you are. . .wr. . .wro... wrong. I don't care how carefully they, or even myself craft the argument, the basic premise is that something is wrong or lacking, and you can fix it. Without even realizing it, you immediately stand in deficiency and inadequacy. The book or teaching immediately puts you in confrontation. You stand accused, lacking, and requiring the help the book or teacher promotes. The implication of the teaching is; “I have the answer, you need the cure.” Religions across the globe are built upon that premise. Psychology and philosophy make their bed in that premise. It is the very thing that Christ came to destroy. The problem with Christian self-help books, is the word 'Self.'

As the Apostle Paul so eloquently argues in every one of his letters, if 'he' (the 'law,' the birthright, the act of mutilation, the act of denial, or any action I can take on my part,) were able to justify his standing with God, there would be no need for Jesus to have died on the cross. Christianity would become another empty religion. Hucksters and charlatans would be able to devise empty fables, and enslave once more. THIS IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM MY HEART!

What brought this train of thought on, was a conversation with a dear brother in the Lord, who approached me with weariness in his heart. “Don't you think that this whole “slave” thing is too much?” he asked. “It just seems like it robs the joy from the walk.”

GASP AND GULP!

Had I passed that point of exhortation to condemnation?

This brother is special to me in ways I can't explain. His feelings and thoughts are important to me. He's one of those people who can beat themselves up just fine without anyone being around to help him. The last thing I wanted to do was add to his condemnation or steal his joy. It's the last thing I want to do to any person. I know the feeling all too well, myself. Condemnation is the joy sapper.

The question still remains, how do I continue to teach “Every Man's Marriage” without putting guilt and condemnation upon my brothers? I've tried so hard to make all of these wonderful men know that I am in this journey with them. The things I've learned from the book, are slowly making their way into my daily life. Never mind that at 56 years old, the questions I face in my own life cause me to doubt the good of what I'm teaching. I wonder if I will ever be able to undo the damage I've done to my wife during our 35 years of marriage. I find myself battling five decades of selfish thinking and desires. My flesh has had its way for so long, I don't even know if I'm changing. Will my wife ever believe that I truly love her? I wish I'd had this book 35 years ago. I wish someone had taught me. . . .

There it is!

My dearest brother in Christ, it isn't about us. It isn't about the knowledge that we were ignorant of those things that could have made a difference in our lives. We didn't know. It's about your son, it's about the sons of all of our brothers who sit down with us at the table every Sunday morning and open ourselves up to criticism and self-evaluation. Our sons have the opportunity to become better men. It won't be for a lack of knowledge if they fail. I can see it in every one of the young men who've grown up in our midst. All you have to do is look at the ones who've grown up and are married. Look at their marriages. You can see how much better they are at it than we were. The things they are learning in “Every Man's Marriage,” and many of the other books we've read, will send them light years beyond us. That alone makes it worth the guilt and condemnation I feel in my own life.

As I mulled your concerns over in my heart, the Lord rebuked me for not practicing a basic principal of learning. The moment of application. I've never taught another man's material before, and I'm not able to discern the exact moment to stop and give you guys a chance to breathe. The Lord brought to my mind the picture of a runner in a competition. Every runner gives their all. They run flat out till they cross the finish line. If you've ever watched the Olympics, you can't help but sympathize with the runners as they collapse after throwing everything they have into the race. It doesn't matter whether they are sprinters or marathon racers, the end is always the moment to breathe. Not that they weren't breathing before, but the breathing at the finish is to restore life giving oxygen to the body that has used its available supply. God demanded that we take one day to cease from OUR labors. He demanded that we breathe in the breath of life that is HIM. He is rest. He is our help. The last thing a runner wants at the end of the race is for someone to thrust a T-bone steak in his face and demand that he eat it. He wants to breathe. The Holy Spirit is our air. He is so important. The time to eat is before the race and a while after it. At the end of the race, when we need to rest from our exertions, we simply need to breathe.

Another problem with so many pastors and teachers, is that we fail to let people cross the line. We're like some kind of crazed maniac who keeps moving the line as the runners run. We don't even realize when we've done it. Then, we wonder why everyone collapses of exhaustion. This isn't God's intent for us. He never moves the line. However, He does start a new race. Last week we were looking at living righteously with our wives, this week we're looking at how to give our wives more time. I failed to let you know you'd crossed the line. The problem isn't with God, as much as it is with this teacher. I'd failed to let all of you have a chance to catch your breath. I'll work on that. Even when God was leading the children of Israel in the wilderness, he would allow them time to rest. I can't seem to find the place to rest in this book. It's not the author's fault. I'm not preparing like I should.

Like the rest of you, I want nothing more than to show my wife that I love her. The tools in “Every Man's Marriage,” help me in that desire. The knowledge in John MacArthur's book “Slave,” help augment that teaching. As teacher and coach along the road of life, I can only hope that I can avoid the trap of making people feel condemned.

BREATHE!

TRUE FREEDOM

Two of our young men returned to college last week, one of them as a newly married man, and the other with a renewed vision for the future. (I could feel the subtle change in the men's study group as we compensated for the absence of both of you.) I'm sure I speak for all of the REAL men, when I pray for you to have another successful year in college. We also look forward to those weekends when you are able to return to us and your families. You are the reason for writing this Blog.

We began studying chapter seven of “Every Man's Marriage.” I have to admit, it was a relief not to have to go into chapter six. By now, you know why.

This chapter is a profound shift in thinking. It is a major rebuttal of the modern American mindset that defines the male role in the family as the king of his castle, lord of his family, and ruler of his wife. That mindset is anti-Christ, and should have never been acceptable in any faith fellowship. Fred hits upon an amazing concept that rivals the idea of “spiritual oneness.” Chapter seven leads into the second half of the book which teaches us “leading as a bondservant.”

At first, it can sound like an oxymoron. How do you lead if you are a servant? The servant leader goes against the American mindset of being free. Actually, it is the perversion of the definition of freedom that makes it hard to understand. In order to confront the perversion head on, we first defined what a “bondservant” is.

We opened with Exodus 21 and read through verse six. It surprised me, how God went from giving the children of Israel the ten commandments and then his first Mitzovt is about the bondservant. You would think he would have made the laws concerning killing another man his first order of business. There has to be a significance to it. From the passage of scripture, we determined that there was parallel to what had just happened to the children of Israel. Four hundred years before, they'd put themselves in bondage to Pharaoh because of a severe drought. God bought them back from Pharaoh, and now they stood before him as a free people. It was no longer the whip and lash that drove them. While they may have forgotten the Covenant God had made with Abraham, God had not. He brought them out to the desert, to set them free. What is the ultimate choice of freedom?

To freely serve.

The picture man paints of servant hood, is of someone selling themselves to another man for the promise of food, shelter, and safety. All of which God says he'll provide if we'll trust him. It is the needs of the flesh that will drive a man to sell himself into the service of another. Hunger and self preservation will make men do drastic things. That is why we can't confuse the slavery of African Americans with the slavery that God addresses. They were kidnapped, chained, and forcibly removed from their homes. The kind of slavery God is addressing is when we willingly sell ourselves into slavery to survive or pay a debt. The fact is, everyone is a slave to someone. It doesn't matter who you are, you are going to serve somebody. I know of men who work 60 to 80 hours a week for a salary. What is the salary? Food, shelter, and safety. We are all sold into slavery. We are slaves to our belly and our selfish desires. That was all the children of Israel had ever known. Up to this point they'd never known any other reason for being a slave until God gave them his purest example. God forbade the Hebrews from owning one another for more than six years. Although I'm not a Hebrew scholar, and I haven't found any proof to back me up, I'm sure it has to do with six being the number of man. It probably also has a lot to do with the fact that God took six days to create the earth. At the end of six years, the slave is given an amazing shot at freedom. HE OWES NOTHING. His debt is paid. Then God does an amazing thing. There is a profound definition of freedom. It is the same picture we see when a man stands as a free man before friends and family at the front of an altar. He places a ring upon the hand of the lovely woman standing before him and says; “I love my Master, I will not go out free.”

WHAT?

That's not what is said.

YES IT IS!

The man comes in to the wedding ceremony a free man. He has all the rights of a free man. He can go wither so ever he will without a thought about it. He can live anyplace that someone will have him. He can do anything he wants. Yet, what is his choice? I will serve you, my bride, my master, because I love you. It is a profound shift in thinking. We are servants of love. Sadly, in today's culture, there is a perversion of marriage into an exchange of services. If the marriage is an exchange of services, it is a prostitution of the worst kind. If somehow in the scheme of things, the man sees himself as ruler of the home, he has returned to being a slave in God's eyes. I know it is a perversion, because I once thought that way. I'd allowed myself to embrace the idea that marriage was an exchange of services, with me being the king of the family. As king, my contribution was defined by what I brought home to the table, fixed, killed (bugs,) opened, or built. They were all things I would naturally do for myself. Nothing had changed. Not once had I looked at my bride as being my master. Not once had I allowed her the freedom to choose me as her master. I demanded it. Not cruelly with physical or verbal abuse, but insidiously with belief and religious ideology. Didn't the bible say we were one flesh? Didn't the bible say her body was mine? I'd twisted and turned the idea of love into a self-serving institution.

Yep, I messed it up.

We looked at God's choices of Servant Leaders, Moses, David, and Jesus. They were true examples of how you can be a leader, and still be a servant at the same time. Marriage is no different than a nation in God's eyes. The Hebrew nation began as a marriage. It is the perversion of the concept of freedom that twists the marriage bed into servitude by both parties. If the woman is looking for the man to be her provision, defender, and source of happiness, she has sold herself into slavery to her flesh. She has entered back into the curse. A home, food, and clothing are not proof of love. The man will work to give himself those things anyway. Sure, as a free man, he may settle for a lot less than he would being married. More people require more space. In being yoked together with the man, she already changes him UP. What is sad to watch, is when the man and the woman delineate the marriage into services provided. One of the saddest statements I've heard is when a woman tells another, that she had to service her man. At that point, I know the marriage has entered into legalized prostitution. She no longer views the man as someone she WANTS to give herself to.

Throughout the morning, there were many wonderful thoughts and observations. I was so enraptured by the direction of the discussion, I failed to take notes. I hate it when that happens. . . . NOT! Actually I'll try and list the highlights.

1. How do we rectify being a slave to Jesus, with being fellow heirs, sons of God, a royal nation, and other descriptions that elevate us beyond being slaves? We didn't get there with the answer, but I can tell you, there is one. NEXT WEEK, I promise it will be good.
2. We tore up the issue of our attitude. Pastor explained how he went from doing things to show his servant leadership, to doing things because he is a servant leader.
3. We have to embrace the knowledge of who and what we are in Christ Jesus. We are bondservants to one another, with our wives being an extension of that same spirit of loving servitude we give to one another. Her's being the greater portion.
4. It is all an attitude of the heart. By leading as a bondservant, we don't do it for what we'll get out of it. We refuse to look at what is in it for us. If we serve our wives for the promise of them being more servile to us, we've already missed the point. If our goal is to have more sex, more gifts, more thoughtfulness, then we've simply slipped back into self love. It is Narcissistic at best.
5. The applications of the servant leader go beyond the marriage. It is how we should be living amongst one another. Ephesians 5:21 is the simple truth of how we should be. “Submit to one out of reverence for Christ.” NLT

Finally, I'd like to let you know that the book “slave” by John MacArthur is available on amazon.com for $12.95. I know you guys have a lot to do in college. Reading another book is probably the last thing you want to do. However, I highly recommend it. Glenda heard the author do an interview on the radio and bought the book. When she was finished, she gave it to me to read. WOW! It is a fantastic book. It's where we've been for the last five or six years. It's not a heavy read. The pastor hasn't made it a must read, but I'm highly suggesting it.

All the men missed you guys. It feels as if part of us is numb. Be blessed this week and look for the mid-week tune up.

En` Christ

Brother Dave.

REAL Men

You've heard em all.  You know what I'm talking about.  The 'Real Men' quips.  YOU KNOW!  "Real men don't cry,"  or how about "Real men aren't afraid to cry."   "Real men don't eat quiche."  "Real men drink their coffee black. . . ."  The list goes on and on.  Anything another man does or doesn't want to do, is given value by the statement: "Real men. . ." 
The problem with the statement is. . . WHAT DOES THE STATEMENT MEAN?  Are there artificial men out there?  Is there some government agency whose job it is to validate real men?  Do you get a certificate stating whether you are a real man or not?  Is there a list of qualifications for being a real man?  Do you have to drive certain cars, play manly sports, or drink manly beverages?  Who decides whether you are a real man or not?  Is it done at birth.  If you come out of the chute less than a man, do you get some kind of stamp on your forehead from the U.S. Department of Manhood stating that you are less than "Grade A Choice Man?"  This could be of national or global importance. What do the hospitals do with the less than 'real' men? 
Is being less than a real man genetic, or is it caused by environment?  Is there a manual for parents to raise real men? 
What about the women of the world?  How do they know whether they are getting a real man or not?  Wouldn't it be a shame for a woman to shave her legs, put on her most tantalizing outfit and discover she is married to a 'fake' man.  I wonder if a woman could suit her husband for being less than a real man?  Is there anybody with the authority to validate your manliness?
Are real men Navy Seals, Special Forces, or other elite military groups?  Is the football field the only place real men hang out?  Are there physical requirements for being a real man?  
Actually, I know some REAL men.  I know about twenty of them.  I know they're REAL men, because they go to REAL Ministries.  I've known most of them for going on 16 years.  I watched some of them grow up from little men to big men, but I can vouch that every one of them are REAL. 
The men of Real Ministries are the ones I'm writing this blog for.  One of the men asked me to do a blog for our young men who are away from home at college.  He hopes it will keep them connected to us and make it easier for them to come into our study when they get a chance to come home.  I thought it was a great idea! 
So, here it is. 
I've been working on this blog for two evenings straight and I still have a long way to go.  This weekend, Glenda and I are celebrating 35 years of wedded something. 
OH COME ON!
I would have loved to have said 'BLISS," but I can't vouch for her. It's been good for me, but then I wasn't always good to her.  BUT, I digress. I wanted to get this up and running tonight, so I wouldn't be working it in my head while working to let Glenda know how happy I am that she didn't leave my rear end at the altar, like her mother and daddy wished she would.  I hope you will all be patient as I work in the necessary elements that will make it more than just a study sheet.  When I'm done, you'll know what we're reading, what we're doing, and where we're going.  For those of you who aren't away at college, it will give you some insight into what I took away from the study group and even prepare you for the next weeks lesson. 
For those of you who are my Facebook friends and followed the link to this blog, I hope you'll FOLLOW this blog and learn with us.  Who knows, maybe you ladies will even get a good idea of what a real man is. 
Disclaimer: 
For the last five years, I've been writing most of our studies.  However, this year we are studying the book "Everyman's Marriage."  by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker.  This has been a laborious and slow study because we want to get it right.  I'm not really keen on getting permissions from the authors, nor do I wish to violate copyright laws.  For that reason, this blog will not have quotes from or mention names from the book aside from what you just read.  Instead, I will be taking the comments made during the study and expanding upon whatever jewel is brought forth.  Believe me, there have been some awesome things brought out during the study.
As to the question I've been asking, the answer is:  "REAL Men love Jesus."  Real men are everywhere.  I haven't seen an artificial man yet.