What Is It Like?

I'm not going to apologize for being a day late on the mid-week tune up.  It was by design of the Holy Spirit. Yesterday morning as I prepared to sit down and put down my thoughts to the computer, I received a check from the Holy Spirit. I knew that there was something that would happen to become fodder for the tune-up. 

Soooooo,.. I waited all day, and nothing happened.

“Come on Holy Spirit!” I said, as I drove home from the job I'd just completed. “What did I learn today that could tie into our study of Every Man's Marriage? Where's the big 'zinger?'

Got home and took Glenda out for a fantastic meal at Neighborhood Diner. Still nothing! What a bummer. “I'll end up going to the Church Service without a mid-week tune up beneath my belt.” I groused.

It was an unusually quiet Wednesday night service, until Sister Deborah Summers took the podium.

Then it became clear! 

 

She began speaking about a book that I'd heard rumblings about, but as the men's teacher, I couldn't just jump out and recommend it for the women. The book is titled What is it like to be married to me, and other dangerous questions, by Linda Dillow. While I'm accustomed to Sister Deborah operating in the office of Prophet, I'd never heard her teach. Wow! What a teacher! Her humility and willingness to be transparent were refreshing. I was excited about the idea of our women embarking on the same path of maturity that we men have embraced.

Whoaaaaah! 

 

NOW, before all you women stone me for saying you need to mature, I didn't say you need to grow up. Growing up and maturing are two different things. No matter what stage in life we are in, we all can continue to mature. It is a fool who believes they've been there and done it all. It would be an especially foolish woman who believes that simply because of her being a woman, she "is all that."  If you want the unvarnished truth, the last ten to twenty years have seen the media catering to the feminist agenda of destroying men to uplift women. Men are painted as being stinking toads for wanting sex with their wives, time with their pals, time to do hobbies, or for working too hard. Men are deprecated for being unable to meet every desire of their woman. Before long, the media has stripped down the white Knight to his skivvies and left him to shiver in the harsh light of media-scrutiny. The feminist agenda of placing women in direct confrontation with men is working and filtering down into many churches. This isn't what God intended! You don't have to destroy, belittle, or tear down someone in order to advance yourself. (Maybe a few politicians need to learn that, but then, they wouldn't get their five seconds of sound bite on the news. Our flesh loves a good cat fight.)

Which brings me to the Ah-ha moment that happened while our Sister Deborah was teaching. I don't know if she got it from the book or if it was something the Holy Spirit revealed to her, but I'm going to rephrase it in my words. “If you are looking to someone else (husband) to fulfill your desires, you are not living by the design God has for your life.” I'll show you a woman who is mature, by their desires. If their desire is to fulfill and serve others, that person is operating in maturity. If your desire is to fulfill and serve others through the leading of the Holy Spirit, you've become a Christian. It's what Christ did in becoming flesh. He surrendered himself to others and showed us what it looked like. He didn't leave it there, though. he left his Spirit here with us, so he could empower us to live as he did, men and women alike. Many of us men are willing to serve and demonstrate how it's done, but we don't leave our Spirit.  OR< If we do leave our spirit, it is that stinking ol' ugly guy that didn't know Christ.  I know, I've done it too many times.  Problem is, it's easier for our wives to remember the old stinky guy, than the sweet perfume of God's Spirit within us.  It's even worse, when that dead guy is a zombie walking around in a christian suit.  It looks good, but when you get up close, you know he's dead.  It's the same for women.  It's all in the Garden.  When we desire the things of this flesh, we lose sight of the God who provides everything.  

 

It's when we go back to the stinking tree, that we get in trouble. The things of this life don't satisfy, only the God of the Universe can satisfy. The satisfaction doesn't ever come in the laying hold of him, but in the pursuit of him. It is when he is ever unattainable and pulling us ever toward him, that we grow to be more like him. That was why the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was such a trap. The promise of the serpent was that eating it would make us like God. It was a quick grab, a momentary happiness, desire fulfilled, but it spoke of our heart condition. Sadly, it still does today. Without the pursuit, we are left empty and unfulfilled. 

So, what does all this have to do with where we are in our men's group? I believe we have been on an epic journey to bring us to a point where we can appreciate, and serve our wives no matter how they are treating us, or even where they are at in their own maturity. I believe we will cherish our wives greater and move together in maturity. I've said it before, but it bears repeating, because our Sister Deborah said it last night. “As the family goes, so goes the Church.”

Aren't most church splits a result of a dysfunctional family? We get our eyes on what we desire and lose sight of what God has planned. The same is true of marriages. Someone loses sight of the one they once desired and forgets what God had planned. ONENESS!

THANK YOU SISTER DEBORAH.