Gasping For Air

Yesterday's Men's group was pretty much a tirade by me about how much I dislike chapter six of Every Man's Marriage.  I knew heading into it, I couldn't teach it. The problem is, I didn't want to hand it over to someone else to teach, because I didn't want it taught.  Not the way it was presented.  Two years ago when I first read the book, I had to put it down when I reached chapter six.  I let it sit on my desktop at the church for over eight months, while I worked out my feelings.  
I couldn't figure out where Fred went with this chapter. I'd been with him up to this point and could easily identify with many of the examples he'd brought forth.  Then he began to heap all these cliche and empty stereotypes on all men.  It made me feel as if I'd been forced to endure unending episodes of the Oprah show, not the good shows, but the ones where she spent the whole show bashing men.  The ones where she would stereotype men and then snicker with her guest.  I felt as if I were gasping for air. It brought me back to a memory of when I was about twelve and my cousins took me to Wentz pool in Ponca City, Oklahoma. One of my cousins who was much older than I, thought it would be great fun to play 'dunk a cuz' with me.  Problem was, he wasn't paying attention to the fact that I wasn't getting enough time to breath between his persistent dunkings.  In desperation, I sent a foot into his groin.  Gasping and spitting water, I left the pool and never enjoyed swimming again. That's the way I felt in chapter six.  Sure, there are many good points and even some truths to what he said, but he made them apply to all men.  More specifically, he made all men own them. Leaving the poor suffering, unselfish, victimized mass of womanhood completely out of the picture.  (Yes, I'm being satirical)  He makes one, one sentence nod to men and women both being imperfect.  Oprah had nothing on Fred.  She could have used his info and built a show around it.
Sooooooo...... Next week we're moving on to chapter seven and the rest of the book, which is excellent and can help all of us to become better husbands.  Which is what all good teaching should do, improve, not drown. Which is the problem with most teachers, pastors, and to some degree prophets.  We find it easier to bash people in the head and point out their faults than leading them around their faults.  It's the nature of the beast, but I doesn't have to be.  Those who avoid this habit, lead people to a higher plane, like 2nd Peter chapter 1 verse 3.  'God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. . . .:"   We just have to keep adding in the ingredients until it makes the cake.