In an effort to bring this study into Christian Fatherhood to a close, I've been condensing lessons that I've written down to the bare bones. This lesson was originally four lessons dealing with transparency, and honesty. I've already dealt with these issues before in other studies, so I wanted to go directly to what we can do as fathers to let our children feel free to be honest and transparent.
As a parent of three children, I've been blessed to have one child who was transparent about everything in her life either with her mother or with me. I've also had one child who refused to let you into her life. My oldest child was compliant, obedient, and enjoyed being social, but kept her opinions to herself My secretive daughter didn't want to explain herself to anyone, but at the same time didn't mind giving you her opinion on life issues. One child was transparent, but diplomatic, while the other was private, yet truthful. In seeking advice from a good Christian brother about what to do with my private, but truthful child, he informed me that I was just the opposite of her. He also asked me how I'd disciplined them for lying or misbehaving. I don't think I'd been cruel or over the top with transparency and honesty issues when they were young, but I did try to teach them that lying was wrong.
Honesty is required by God, transparency isn't. God makes it clear that he's sees all things, this makes honesty necessary for us not HIM. If we lie to him or others, we are lying to ourselves. Transparency is living your life openly with no masks or hidden closets, unafraid of what you see, while honesty is being forthright in what you say. It has always been easier for me to be transparent than honest. Honesty has always resulted in physical pain for me. Being vertically challenged, I learned quickly that telling the class bully that he was a pug ugly, gap toothed, neanderthal was not a wise thing to do. I truly believe that mindset in me, prevented me from exploring my children's views on life, and issues they were dealing with. I assumed from the start that they weren't going to be honest with me. I believed that by pressuring them to tell the truth that they would be even more secretive, or deceptive with me. I know from my own childhood, that parents lie, and or hide their true self from others. We've gone through this before in our discussions of hypocrisy, but with your children it is of the greatest importance. Helping your child to be transparent and honest has a lot to do with how transparent and honest your are with them. It is even more important for them to know what the difference is between transparency and honesty.
If you are transparent, your children will see the real you, and know that the real you is what other people see. However, if the real you doesn't align with the Word of God, they will never trust God, or anyone. How you deal with their transparency and honesty issues will determine if they are willing to be transparent and honest with God. IF you are a good father, transparent and true, they will know what God is like. IF you have a child that rebels against your honesty and transparency, then that is not your fault. Alright, that took care of four lessons, just like that. Be ready to discuss how we can encourage our children to be honest and transparent.
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