A DOSE OF TRUTH

Good non-christian fathers abound!! 
For many of us Christian men that is a difficult truth to swallow. It is part of our belief system to equate all non-believers as being ‘wicked.’  This is the furthest thing from the truth.  Even Jesus didn’t do that.  Actually, our greatest sorrow should be the knowledge that many of the BEST men we’ve ever met will not accept Jesus as their savior.  Loving, goodhearted, men who make great fathers, will at the same time be headed toward destruction.  I have many examples of wonderful fathers who feel no need for salvation for themselves, or their children.  They raise happy, balanced children who live out their lives in success, and with great virtue.  I want to defend them, and make it clear that the attack on fatherhood is not a religious issue, although to those of us who believe,  it sure seems that way. As Christian men, our greatest problem is that we have seen the next level of manhood. 
I will not answer for, nor enter into the burgeoning gender debate.  We are dealing with issues of eternal life, not whether you wake up one morning in love with the shape of your calves and thighs, or whether a woman wakes up one day and decides she’s a man.  I am speaking to a group of men who’ve put aside the greater issues of dominance, personality traits, and social positions to submit to one another in Christian love. (Ephesians 5:21)  Everyone of you will have to admit to the difficult truth that you’ve known some awesome unbelieving men who by all accounts are better fathers than you.  The Apostle Paul spoke to this when he was addressing the issue of the law, and faith in God. (Romans 2:14-15)  It is the law of God that makes us aware of our sins, and Paul said there were people who’d never heard the law who lived it without even knowing what they were doing. They were able to live God's internal laws, and even do righteousness. Even today there are kind goodhearted men who live without the knowledge of Christ.  I know this is hard to believe in this day and age where we have Christianity beamed into homes 24/7.  I'll say it again,  there are men who've never heard the gospel, and that failure falls on us.  At the same time, there are men who've heard the gospel who will never believe. Not everyone believed Jesus when He walked the earth, so failure to believe isn't just in the presentation. Still, whether a man believes or not doesn’t make them ‘bad’ men, or ‘bad’ fathers.  The thing that divides us is how we view eternity, and that is the BIG ‘thing.’
Many of you who’ve been a part of this men’s group for any length of time know that I don’t believe in the total depravity of man.  The basis for the belief in the total depravity of man is a scripture that is often taken out of context and given more heft than it deserves.  It is often tied to another scripture that is equally misused.  The first verse I’m referring to is: “There is no one good but God.” (Mark 10: 18) and the second verse is; “the heart is deceitful above all, who can know it” (Jeremiah 17: 9-10). 
The reason I chafe at these verses being used to describe ‘Total Depravity’ is the preponderance of verses that speak of men and women of God who were determined by God to be ‘blameless,’ ‘pure’, and yes even ‘holy’ in His sight.  Three of these ‘blameless’ and ‘upright’ people lived before the law, and there is a longer list who lived under the law.  I want to make this point because there is a tendency among Christians to demonize those who haven’t accepted Christ as their savior.  The idea that these men or women could be ‘good’ without Christ is a mystery to many Christians. Salvation is not about OUR righteousness.  The goodness or suitability for a person to be a ‘good’ parent isn’t bound up in our Christian faith.  I’ve personally known hundreds of ‘unsaved’ men who were better fathers than I was.  If Christianity alone were capable of making anyone a ‘great’ father, then I wouldn’t need to do this study.  We have a duty as Christian fathers to seek to be ‘better’ at fatherhood than those around us.  Many of the fathering techniques we are going to discuss can be used by any man to be a better father. 
So, what is the difference?  Why is this so important?  Why am I making a fuss about fatherhood? 
Eternity!
The goal of fatherhood is simple; produce offspring and prepare them to produce offspring.  This is the course of nature for all life on this planet, REPRODUCE. Hopefully if a man has a modicum of common sense, and was blessed with a good father, he will make an effort to repeat what he learned, and another ‘good’ child will be the result.  Yay!!!!! 
The reproductive process has gone on for ages, and should the Lord tarry will keep on going.  The focus of Christian fathers is different than non-believers.  A Christian father sees this life through the lens of eternity, and that my brothers is a very large lens.  The problem for Christian fathers is when they lose sight of the eternal, and focus on the carnal.  As Jesus said, you can't serve two masters. A Christian father has the added responsibility of not only preparing their child for this life, but for an eternal existence.  Eternity should be our primary focus, even as we live upon this present vale. If we are living out from heaven to earth, then we will be spiritual fathers who need not be ashamed. 
I know I’ve used this example before, but I think it has even more significance when you add the dynamic of fatherhood.  When we make our yearly trips to Nicaragua, the tickets are bought in advance. I've paid for the ticket, but I don’t even hold it in my hand until we get to the airport.  We pack our clothes, we pack the kids clothes, and we set up our itinerary long before we get there.  Even though we aren’t there, we are there in our preparations.  I know what it will be like, taste like, and what we’ll do, but I still have to go about my everyday life until I go. Our fellowship even sends money ahead to help build the ministries we support.  What’s the difference between me and someone who isn’t going?  I have a ticket!  I get joyful when I think about it.  Everything I do in preparation for the trip makes me a better person in my hometown, but prepares me for the trip.  I speak to the people who live there, and I make preparations to bless them while I’m there.  I lay aside cash, soccer balls, and gifts to give them.  Those of you who take your children with you, prepare your children for the trip.  Nicaragua is the focus of our lives until we leave.  This is what Christ kept trying to teach when He would tell the disciples to invest in heaven.  We are here on this earth for a breath, or as some translations say, a vapor, and then eternity.
The focus on eternity  is how Christian fatherhood is different than secular fatherhood.  At the same time, being a Christian father doesn’t automatically make you a better father.  Being a better father, makes you a better Christian father.  I didn’t learn this truth till after I’d already raised my own children. 
You might wonder why I’ve gone down this little rabbit trail, but it’s simple; there is a concerted push by feminists, some educators, media, and progressive political circles to demean, belittle, and even demonize manhood.  Sorry!!!! You don’t get to do that without pushback. None of us stood in a Que line for our preferred gender before conception.  Being male doesn’t make you superior.   Being a female doesn’t make you a better person.  Being gay, transgender, or whatever gender you think you are doesn’t give you permission to stereotype men. Women by virtue of gender do not possess a moral high ground.  When the quest for ‘equality’ is accomplished on the backs of those whose only ‘sin’ was being born male, you have become the oppressor even if you feel you haven’t arrived. 
Christians feed this fire of anti-male rhetoric whenever they embrace the hate speech of the left.  I want us to be better than that.  I want us to be able to acknowledge when someone is good, excellent, kind, loving, and living a life of goodness, whether they are believers or not.  We can’t deny the great examples of fatherhood that exist outside of our ‘christian’ existence.  Just like there are terrible christian fathers, there are wonderful unbelieving fathers.  I’ll say it one more time, the only difference between us and our secular counterparts is the focus.  We want to ensure our sons and daughters will choose to serve God throughout eternity starting here.  To do that, we must exemplify the best of fatherhood, and at the same time reveal eternity.