It was another wonderful morning of godly men recounting tales of the nobility of fatherhood. Throughout the history of our men's group, I've hoped, and longed for the day when fathers and sons sat together and expressed their hearts one to another. I don't know where the idea of holding back public praise for our parents came from, but it isn't of God. I'm sure it has something to do with the idea of people getting a 'big head' if you praise them. It could also be due to the fact that we erroneously believe that criticism is a better motivator than praise. Whatever it's origin, I can see how difficult it was for some of the sons to speak goodness while their fathers were sitting across the table from them. I wonder if there is a magical age where it isn't acceptable anymore. What is ironic to me is that just before the men's service one of our young men came in with his four year old daughter clinging to his hand as she headed toward the nursery. The love for her father was written all over her face, and she demanded a hug before she left.
During our discussion, one of the young men expressed that he believed his father making breakfast for them every morning was a noble act. When I pressed him for what noble quality he thought that represented, he struggled. That's not unusual. I don't think I've heard the term 'noble deeds' used in public in a long, long, time. As I've said in an earlier post, we confuse nobility with heroics. Noble character isn't talked about as often as it used to be. So, I understood the young man's hesitation. Finally after a few awkward moments I asked his father what his reasons were for cooking breakfast every morning was. The answer was stunning: "To serve them."
A Christian father should be all about servanthood. It is part and parcel of parenthood. When a father looks at their child as nothing more than an unpaid servant to do their will, it is a perversion of family. Should children be taught how to clean up their own messes? Yes. Should children be taught how to clean and maintain the house? Yes! Should children be given daily chores? Yes. BUT, father's should also keep as their serve going long beyond the toddler and pre-adolescent years.
As this discussion unfolded, we began to talk about the result of living out the noble qualities we admire, and one of our younger boys said simply it was a case of 'like father, like son." If we live out the ideals of noble fatherhood, noble sons should follow.
I agree. We can no longer afford to assume that our sons 'know' what qualities we admire in them, and sons can no longer afford to wait until their parents are dead to sing their praises.
My father, and I had a long needed discussion just this last year, where I told him how much I appreciated him, and the things I think he gave me. He wasn't a perfect father, but what he gave me was perfect. I can say that here in this blog which I know he'll never read. and I can say it to his face. I know this is the ending of a generational curse. As I said when I began this post, I don't know where it started, but I am going to put an end to it in my own life. The nobility of Christian Fatherhood will change the world once more.
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