Am I Really Saved?

We finished up with Chapter Eleven in our men’s group study into the book Bond of Brothers by Wes Yoder.  We had four men from last week who didn't get the opportunity to share their favorite passage, so we spent the better half of the hour, finishing up last week’s business.   The passages took on a different flavor this week.  Those who shared this week shared more passages dealing with the community aspect of the chapter.  For those who weren't there, let me sum it up. 

Dying to ourselves, (a uniquely Christian concept)  is more than denying yourself, and being a good person.  It is a true change in who, and even what we are.  We become a new creation in Christ, unlike the person we were before.  Wes Yoder makes a very profound argument that our death to this present world, brings us into a community of life.  It is a relationship with the creator that binds us together in love.  It goes beyond knowing that He exists.  It goes beyond agreeing that Jesus is the Son of God.  Even the demons believe.  There is something more profound, and powerful that happens when we die to ourselves.  Our identity becomes the community of faith.   It should be the hallmark of our faith, not the exception.  I  wonder though, can it truly exist in America?   Are the Amish, and Mennonites the only ones who understand the sense of community we have in Christ Jesus?  Is there hope for the modern evangelical church?  Is there hope for me?  Can I live in this connected, hyper, electronic  age of wizardry and exhibit the kind of community that is based on Christ?   I’m not going to presume to speak for the other men, but I can tell you that my conscience was pricked by the comments made yesterday. 

It made me wonder if I was truly saved.  YES, you heard me right.  I grew up in the hellfire and brimstone days of Pentecostalism.  When I was a young man, going to football games was considered sinful.  Movies were completely out of the question.  Dancing was a sure indicator that you were a child of the devil, and don’t even get me going on smoking, or alcohol.  I never knew about John chapters 14 – 17.  You never heard them from the pulpit.  The measure of your salvation was made by what you abstained from, not what you did.  Gossip was entertainment, bickering was fun, and fighting over the color of the carpet was considered blasé.   How was I supposed to know that I’d been given everything I needed for life and Godliness?  No one ever told me that thinking on whatever was pure, and right, meant that I had to do those pure, and right things.  No one ever explained how we were to live in one accord.   Now I’m left with more troubling questions for myself. 

At 57 years of age going on 58,  AM I REALLY BORN AGAIN?   

After all these years, I know that there are still pockets of ME that haven’t been given over to Christ.  He isn’t Lord over all of me. 

What about my job?  I don’t have enough time to take care of my brother’s needs.  Do I really have to surrender everything?  Who’ll take care of me?  What about everybody else?  

The issue is time.  I can give money easily.  I love to give money.  I get a thrill out of knowing that there are people in Nicaragua who have a meal because I give. 

I can pray.  I've always enjoyed praying.  It’s easy.  I believe in prayer.  While prayer may be a problem for others, it isn't for me.  However, there are other things I don’t do.  My level of concern for the welfare of others is minimal at best.  I’m not heartless, just insensitive. 

The issue for me is time.  I’m not talking about the time given to the maintenance of the church, or even the daily to do of the fellowship, but more of the helpful concern for the daily lives of others.  I’m talking about the time given to spiritual relationships with one another. 

Our discussion Sunday morning caused me to do some serious soul searching.  Where am I in my life?  What do I really believe?  Am I really saved?  Am I still being de-programmed from the works oriented philosophy of my youth, or will I exchange my feel good measurements from one system of measurement for another.  Will my ‘serve’ be better than my volley? 

Is it something entirely different? 

I asked the men to go ahead and read chapter twelve, and be prepared to explain what they think a community of faith should be like.  I sure hope they don’t give me more to feel bad about.    I’m trying to work my way through last week.