THE GLORY OF FATHERS AND SONS

We had a fantastic crowd of men this morning in our men’s group.  Four of our men just returned from Nicaragua and you could tell the trip had made a major impact upon them.  Of the twenty men in our study this morning, I was thrilled to note that thirteen of us have made at least one or more trips to Nicaragua over the last eight years. There is a bonding of heart and purpose in making these trips.  What is even more powerful, is that at least five of our men have taken their sons with them when they went.  I know I sound like a broken record, but this is another proof of the character of the men who allow me to pastor them. I am humbled and in awe of them.

 At the beginning of chapter four of the book, Bond of Brothers, there is a short quote from a prayer made by one of the men in Wes Yoder’s Dinner and conversation group.  He prayed; In our fathers, we saw glimpses of you.  I can say that about so many of the men in our fellowship.  I see more than just glimpses of the Father in them. 

Last week I asked the men who were at the study, to read chapter four and be ready to answer the question;  “What is the one thing you wish your father had told you?”   Actually, the exercise was a ploy to get them to draw out of themselves the feelings that so often plague us as men. The enemy loves it when he can cause boys to become angry with their fathers, which in turn shuts up the well spring of wisdom and truth that should exist between fathers and sons. This was one of his original ploys in the Garden of Eden.  ‘The father hasn’t told you everything.’  ‘He doesn’t want you to be like him.’  ‘There is something wrong with you.’  ‘He doesn’t want you to have fun.’  It doesn’t matter how it’s phrased, the lie is the same, and the result is the same.  Teenage boys find themselves ashamed of their mistrust, fearing discovery, and cut off from the one relationship that brings them life.  In God’s case, He already knows, He is ready to forgive, and only wants for us to reach out to Him.  The same is true of our earthly fathers.  Every man knows himself, and because he knows himself, he knows his son.  Sadly, when you are a guilt ridden, sin riddled teenager, the last person you reach out for is the very man who will love you unconditionally.  The guilt is almost insurmountable. Thus continues the cycle of silence from eons past.  What’s more, because our fathers were unable to overcome the silence in their lives, they don’t know how to break the wall of silence between them and their own sons.  LET ME HELP YOU!   Say three words to your children; I love you.  When they push you  away; I love you.  When they scream and yell; I love you.  When they hide or run away; I love you.  Every day, every chance you get, tell them you love them.  Don’t let the lie of the enemy fester in their heart.

In chapter four, Wes Yoder asked a group of men the question;  “What was your father like?”  This question is like opening a window into a man’s soul.  What I like about our group of men, is that I know what most of them are like.  I know one father whose heart is so tender toward his sons, that he will come to me quietly and tell me when a callous word or accidental slight has injured his sons.  Perhaps you’ve missed the importance of what I just said.  It isn’t that he came to me that is important, it’s that his sons trust him enough to let him know their feelings.  This is a father who has a real relationship with his sons.  You can see it in the quality of his sons.  What’s more, is I know his sons will deepen the well spring of love and communication with their own children.

 

You see, our relationship with our earthly fathers  is inextricably linked to our need for relationship with our heavenly Father.  Before Jesus came on the scene, we were like rebellious sons, unable to have a decent conversation with the father of our souls.  Our sins stood between us, and we could only hope for peace between us.  Once we have a genuine born again experience, we stand glorified, and eager to glorify.

 

“ Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son so he can give glory back to you.”  John 17:1  NLT

 and

 “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one.”  John 17:22 NLT 

Every GOOD father wants to glory in his sons.  While you might be able to get men talking about their fathers, try asking them about their children.  The conversation will never stop.  Beyond work, game, weather, and artificial religious talk, a man loves to talk about his children to anyone who will listen, except his own children.  It’s easier to berate, or withhold praise because we don’t want them to think more highly of themselves than they ought to.  This wasn’t always the case.  In ancient Jewish tradition, a father would take his grown son to the city square, and declare: “This is MY son, in whom I am well pleased.”   At that moment, the son became equal to the father in every respect.  It was as if you were doing business with the father.  Everything the father did, the son could do.  This needs to be a rite of passage for our own sons.  I’ve told all of you about the day, my father stood up for me against the man who was bent on suing me.  My father put himself between that man and myself.  In essence, he was declaring that I was his son and that he was pleased with me.  On that day, he made me a man, and showed his pleasure with me, and from that day forward,  I wanted to do more to affirm his faith in me. On that day, I became his equal. When we release our sons from the bondage of never quite measuring up, we actually release them to love us more.  I believe it is at this point that true father and son dialogue can begin. 

In our newfound ‘relationship’ we can ‘hear’ about our weaknesses and  rejoice in the fact that our father is  willing to be strong for us where we are weak.  In our new found position as a ‘man,’  we can rest assured that our father will guide us through the tough spots, giving us his wisdom without making us feel stupid for asking.  His discipline won’t seem as cruel or insensitive as it did before we knew how he felt about us.  From the position of favor, we know that we can be like him.  OH, were we talking about earthly fathers and sons? 

FROM THIS MOMENT ON, I speak against the generational sins that bind up men’s lives and destroy families.  The men and young men of our fellowship will walk in the glory of the Father.  Sons will be like the SON, daughters will walk as virgin brides in love with their fathers till it is time for them to be given joyfully to a son of God.  We will all be about the Father’s business.  We will do what we see the Father do, and we will say what the Father says.  The glory of fathers will be passed to their sons, and a new generation of men will rise up to proclaim the love of the Father to their own children.

 

Mr. Yoder I hope you’ll understand when I tell you chapter four gave too much time to the sin and shame issue.  Yes, I believe it WAS shame that kept men silent, but not anymore.  The power of the cross is changing up every one of us.  We are KINGDOM men, living a KINGDOM life. 

READ CHAPTER FIVE!