CHRISTIAN FATHERHOOD

DISCLAIMER:

For anyone who might stumble upon this blog without being a part of our faith fellowship, we make no apologies for our biblical view of manhood.  I am writing these lessons as blogs for our men’s bible study group in an effort to save paper.  If you happen upon this blog, you don’t have to read this. Without a history as a member of our fellowship, this study will not mean anything.  As a matter of kindness to those who do not hold the time tested values of the scriptures as sacred, we stand firm upon the morals, and values we’ve received through study, and prayer.  We won’t take you to court for not believing as we do, and we won’t berate your life choices when they are opposed to the Word of God.  Tolerance is a two way street, not a one way avenue.  If you are easily offended by Christian values, or discussions of traditional male family roles, you will be offended.  DONT READ ANY FURTHER.  The only  reason for using this blog site is to save making copies of our lessons on paper, which I’ve done for over 12 years and will do again if need be.  Should the machine at Google find this offensive and prevent me from posting, it will be of no concern to me.  None of us are haters, nor do we inject ourselves into the lives or activities of people we disagree with.  Tolerance has always been the foundation of our nation, and is the reason we’ve been able to have a republic for so long.  I ask simply that respect and honor be given to our constitutionally guaranteed rights of religious expression, even as I have attempted to honor and tolerate those with differing views than us.  So, with the public disclaimer out of the way, we’ll begin our study.

A FATHER’S CHARGE

This is a personal note from me to all my beloved brothers in the Lord at Real Ministries.  We’ve been together now as a fellowship for nearly twenty years.  For some of us, we’ve known ‘of’ each other for over 25 years.  In that time, you’ve allowed me to teach, share, and be a part of your lives in a way I’ve never done before in over fifty years of Christian living.  I’ve had the privilege to be taught of you, and your sons.  We’ve loved, joked, ate, drank coffee, gone on mission trips, and formed lasting relationships that will transcend time.  You’ve seen my failures, my successes, and still been supportive in ways I never thought would happen.  For that, I thank you.  This study into Christian fatherhood was sparked by a comment from Radio Host, Dennis Praeger.  He was discussing the mass killings in Las Vegas, more specifically the shooters mental condition.  He made a statement that struck me like a bolt of lightning.  I can’t repeat it verbatim, but the point was that a boy without a father, or heavenly father is free to do anything they want to do.  A young ‘boy’ child needs the physical boundaries of a father to let them know that there is someone stronger, and more imposing.  This thought was emphasized to me later that day when I witnessed a young mother trying to corral two pre-adolescent boys at a local fast food place.  The mother was clearly worn out, and the boys were winning by being persistently annoying, and to some degree aggressive.  I watched a large, elderly man rise up from a nearby booth and come over to the table.  He wasn’t angry, and his face beamed with a knowing smile.  He exchanged pleasantries with the frazzled mother upon which the two boys slipped gleefully from the booth and grabbed his extended hands.  He led the boys to the ordering counter, and along the way I heard numerous admonitions for them to behave, be quiet, and be still.  As one boy attempted to break free to do his own thing, the man quietly said; “If you let go of my hand, I’ll take you back to your mother, and you won’t get anything. Now, what do you want?”  The boy looked into the eyes of the elderly stranger, and with a huge smile said, “Ice cream cone.”   “Then ice cream cone it is.”  said the man as he pulled money from his wallet.  A couple of minutes later he returned the children back to their mother, and returned to his booth.  There is nothing more physically challenging to two little boys, than a very large man.  There is an energy level that is multiplied exponentially with each addition of boyish energy.  The physical presence of a full grown ‘boy’ (a man) is the boundary needed to reduce their tendency to set the world on fire.  Fatherhood is not so much about passing on what you know as it is about setting boundaries to protect children from what they don’t know.  Boundaries are necessary!  A society must have boundaries to exist.  Just the physical presence of a father is enough to create a boundary to the boundless energy of a child.  When you couple that presence with wisdom, knowledge, and strength of will, you create a healthy place for a child to grow up in.

As some of you know, sometimes I find truths in odd places.  I was reading in 1st Timothy for a different study when this scripture hit me.  Yes, I’m changing the wording, but that is because I kept hearing the scripture as a challenge to fathers.  So, this is how we’re going to start our study of how to be a Christian father.  It is from 1st Timothy chapter 4 starting at verse 11.  Yes, I'm taking great license with it. 

Fathers, teach these things and insist that your children learn them.  Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young.  Be an example to your children in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.  Focus on reading the Scriptures to your children, encourage them, and teach them.  Do not neglect the spiritual gift you received through the prophecies spoken over you, when the elders of the church laid their hands on you.  Give your complete attention to being a father.  Throw yourself into this task so that your children will see the Heavenly Father in you.  Keep a close watch on how you live, and how you teach your children, because they are watching you.  Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation, and the salvation of your children.  

You'll notice that teaching is mentioned three times!!  As we go through this study, I want to encourage those of you, who like myself, have raised your children to adulthood, and are facing an empty home to do just that.  TEACH!!  Your job isn’t over, you still have a charge from the Lord to continue being a father even after they become adults. I want you ‘grandfathers’ to feel free to give advice, tips, and experiences as this study unfolds.  This could be a time to resolve long standing issues, and set your life at ease.  At the same time, I want to encourage all of you who are just beginning to be a father, the job is fun, and is the greatest thing you'll ever do.  Seek the advice, and leadership of those who have already walked the path, or are on the path with you. For those of you who are in the middle of your child rearing process, you can make mid-course corrections to become a better father.  It is never too late.  A few apologies to your children, coupled with promises to do better can help reset the dialogue when things have gone south.  As Holy Spirit revealed my mistakes of the past, I’ve often gone to my children and begged their forgiveness.  As the Apostle Paul once said of his walk with Christ, I don’t consider myself as having arrived at perfection.  A matter of fact, I don’t even know what it looks like anymore, and am convinced that what I thought was perfection was an illusion of my own creation.  Fatherhood is not something you arrive at, but is something you do, constantly, and with intent.  For those of you who remain yet unmarried, and therefore a father in the making, this study should prepare you for that task.  Take copious notes, listen to those who’ve gone before you, and make lists of what you want to do.  I know that I’ve learned many things from all of you, and therefore I know you can learn from one another.  The following lessons are intended to get you thinking about fatherhood in a more purposeful way.

This is my charge to all of you;  Fatherhood never ends, be the best one you can be.